Welcome
To My Chris Jericho's Quote's Page
"Listen here Junior"
"It will never...e-e-ever, happen a-gain!"
"Would you please, shut the HELL up?!"
"Welcome to Raw is Jericho!"
"Being your role model is something I take very seriously.. "
"I promise it will never, and trust me when I say this, evvvvvveeer, happen again. Thank you!"
"Let's take a look at all the trophies we've accumulated over the past few months. We've got Rey Mysterio Jr.'s knee, the Cruiserweight Title, Air Quazi's mask, and now...Dean Malenko's dignity!!" - C.J to Dean Malenko
"Last night, I was counting up all my moves, one thousand and four, and I figured out I have four more ways to beat Dean Malenko than he can beat me!!" - C.J to Dean Malenko
"And my future is so bright, I gotta wear shades!"
"I am fluent in 14 different languages, so allow me to translate..."
"Rey Mysterio, you are my favorite cruiserweight, and I have nothing but the utmost respect for you." - C.J to Rey Mystreio Jr.
"Me, being the vato loco that I am, accept your challenge."
"You people have been taught that mediocrity is excellence. UH-UH. JERICHO is excellence!" - C.J to the WWF Fans
"Welcome to RAW IS JERICHO. I am the millenium man and the saviour of the World Wrestling Federation. For those of you who don't know me, my name is Chris Jericho. The most charasmatic man to enter your living rooms via the medium of television and for those you you who do know me, all hail the Ayatollah of Rock & Rolla!" - C.J to The Rock and to the WWF Fans
"Personification of evil - ha! I say personification of BOREDOM! The only thing scary about you two is the amount of TV time you get which causes the people to pick up the remote and change the channel, looking for a hero. Well STOP changing the channel because your hero has ARRIVED!" - C.J to Undertaker and Big Show
"Ken Shamrock, now I know you consider yourself the World's Most Dangerous Man, but after watching your performance tonight, the only dangerous thing about you is if people watch your matches while they're operating heavy machinery." - C.J to Ken Shamrock
"This is not a fabricated, pretend sport like the Ultimate Fighting Championships... no, this is sports entertainment. This is real. And in this realm, MY realm, *I* am the World's Most Dangerous Man." - C.J to Ken Shamrock
"Rock, maybe you should accept the marriage proposal of this retard - I mean, I think that you would be perfect as the woman in a male and male relationship. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Let's look at the evidence! Your ridiculous, effeminate hairstyle - your flashy, yet oh so sassy Versace wardrobe collection - and the worst example of all, your obsessive fixation with sticking inanimate objects up other male's anusses!" - C.J to Rock and Mankind
"The thought of you as a credible and believable champion is an idea even more ridiculously enhanced than your breasts are." - C.J to Chyna
"X-Pac, I am THRILLED that you were able to hook up with Tori - for the first time in your entire life - you finally got to kiss a GIRL! How'd it feel?" - C.J to X-Pac
"Tonight I have to wrestle Big Viscera - but, I gotta be honest with all the Jerichoholics tonight, I'm a little intimidated - as anybody would be if you had to face the love child of Mr. T and Fat Albert. But I gotta warn you, Viscera the Hut! Ah pity the fool who messes with Y2J!" - C.J to Viscera
"Kirk Angel, as Confucious once said, 'if you ain't got nothin' entertaining to say, then shut - the hell - up!' You say that since Y2J has had the intercontinental championship that America has fallen into a decline. Well I say that since you've been standing in that ring, babbling on that microphone, America has fallen asleep! When you look at yourself, you see a courageous Olympic hero, but when I look atcha, all I see is a ridiculous Special Olympics jackass." - C.J to Kurt Angle
"I know that a lot of you people expect me to brag and gloat about the fact that I ended Ken Shamrock's career, but to be quite honest, that's EXACTLY what I'm gonna do! Scamrock, you should be absolutely thrilled that you survived your encounter with Y2J with only a body cast and traction to worry about - I mean, I am one bad mamma jamma - look at my track record. Road Dogg - career ending injury. Scamrock - incapacitated indefinitely. And now tonight, the World Wrestling Federation's newest Most Dangerous Man is going to end the career of the World Wrestling Federation's biggest waste of sperm in YOU Big Show because when I'm finished you will never, EEEEEEVER bore these Jerichoholics again!" - C.J to The Big Show
"Shamrock, well, let's discuss the name Shamrock, first and foremost - 'SHAM,' you are most definitely a fake, a sham, a liar, a scam... I mean, the World's Most Dangerous Man, give me a break. And 'ROCK?' You don't rock - Jericho rocks!" - C.J to Ken Shamrock
"Kirk Angel, I admit you've got the intercontinental championship - but you've also got bad breath and a terrible case of BO! And I would much rather look like this than look like a 30-year-old, never-kissed-a-woman Olympic geek who still lives at home with his Mommy, so Mrs. Angel, put down your double whiskey sour, pick the corn chips from between your teeth, and get ready to see your baby boy JACKASS get a Y2J beating that he, and you will never... ever forget a-gain." - C.J to Kurt Angle
"Eddie, Chyna, contrary to what you may or may not believe, I am absolutely ecstatic that you two are together. I mean, Y2J is joyful that you two have hooked up, but I only have one question - in your little relationship, which one of you two is the man? And just out of curiosity, which one of you two has the bigger package?" - C.J to Eddy Guerrero and Chyna
"Seriously, Eddie - I think the Taco Bell chihuahua has more Latino heat than you." - C.J to Eddy Guerrero
"Last week, I was punished for calling Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley a bargain basement slut - yeah - and I also called her the filthiest, dirtiest, most disgustingly skankiest, brutal, bottom-feeding trashbag ho I had ever - EEEEEEVER - seen in my life. So I came out here tonight to apologise. I came to apologise to all of the bargain basement sluts... and to all of the filthy, disgusting, dirty, skanky, brutal, bottom-feeding, trashbag ho's - I apologise for even comparing you to the miserable slimeball pig that IS Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley. So I apologise for offending anybody, with the exception of Stephy Baby." - C.J to Stephanie McMahon
"I will fight Chris Beniot on a boat, I will fight Chris Beniot as a goat, I will fight Chris Beniot when the scores are tied, I will fight Chris Beniot as a blushing bride, I will fight Chris Beniot while taking a quiz, I will fight Chris Beniot because of the jackass that he is!Coz u see Beniot, i will fight u anywhere coz baby i am WHY-TWO-JAY!"
At Summerslam, i'm gonna take care of the oily, nasty beast....and i'm get you too Rhyno!" - C.J to Stephanie McMahon and Rhyno
"You wanna say 'Let the bodies hit the floor' i would say 'let the boobies hit the floor!'" - C.J toStephanie McMahon
"Well maybe i do Steph (have an imagination)....I'm sorry...let me take u to dinner..yeh..i here there's a hooters just down the road from this place!" - C.J to Stephanie McMahon
"Rock, Rock. Why deal with only one member of the family when we've got the other half standing in the ring. We're dealing with a man-beast and a hoe's-beast. Look it's the gore and the hore!" - C.J to Stephanie McMahon and Rhyno
"It's your birthday huh? How old are you going to be..36..37 years old..(no i'm going to be 25) no i asked u how old u were going to be not how many guys you've been with in the last week!" - C.J to Stephanie McMahon
"Did u ever know that your a jackass!" - C.J to Stone Cold Steve Austin
"What was i thinking?....I was thinking of hitting that bastard Shane McMahon with a chair! That's what i was thinking!" - C.J to The Rock
"Well maybe i should of just hit that chair right on your head and knock the people eyebrow right off!" - C.J to The Rock
"Steph, I'd really thought you'd be supporting me, because after all you can't spell JERICHO without using the words 'H-O'!" - C.J. to Stephanie McMahon
"R-V-D just looked like an exclamation mark!" - C.J on Rob Van Dam
"I bestow upon you the honour of presenting me with my TWO championship titles which signify me to be the first, the only and the true UNDISPUTED CHAMPION!" - C.J to Ric Flair
"Flair...a living legend...at this stage in Flair's life he should just worry about living. PERIOD!" - C.J about Roc Flair
"I dont call myself a living legend because it looks good on a t-shirt or that its a catchy phrase...no...i call myself a living legend coz it's the truth and i deserve it!" -C.J to the WWF Fans
"You love me, you really do!" - C.J to all his Jericho-holics!
On The McMahon Family-
~ "Vance McMahon before you chastise me for my actions last week on Smackdown allow me to apoligize to you. Allow me to apoligize for being impulsive. Allow me to apoligize for follwing my heart, allow me to apoligize for coming down to the ring and punching you in the face. It was instinct, it's what i'm all about and I can't help that, I mean it's similar to the way that your son Shane is referred to each and every week by all these Jerichoholics as a word that rhymes with wussy. Oh yeah, that's it. Or is similar to the way your daughter Stephanie is a filthy, dirty, disgusting, skanky, brutal, bottom feeding, trash bag ho. Easy big fella. It's ok, I mean she can't help it it's what she does. Or even you Big Mac, I mean you're the head of one of the biggest empires in the world. You created this entire phenomonon known as sports entertainment. You sir are a multi-billionaire. But you did it all to make up for the fact that you have a very small penis. It's okay, it's not your fault. It's okay!"
~ "So it seems Stephy baby that the Rock and all these Jerichoholics were correct in calling you a bargain basement slut. But on top of that, I think that you are the filthiest, dirtiest, most disgusting, brutal bottom feeding trash bag ho that I have ever EEEEEEEEEEEEVER seen in my life! Damn I feel better now!
~ "So I came out here to apoligize. I came to apoligize for all the bargain basement sluts and to all the filthy, dirty, disgusting, skanky, brutal, bottom feeding trash bag ho's.... I apoligize for even comparing you to the miserable slime ball pig that is Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley!"
~ "X-Pac, I feel horrible that you have to come out here and defend the honor of a woman who has absolutely none. I mean as far as Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley is concerned the word honor means jump on her and stay on her. Well, let's spell that word... H-O-N-O-R. Well, I guess Stephanie is half of that. Because after all, she is a filthy, dirty, disgusting, skanky, brutal, bottom fedding trash bag H-O. And no amount of defending will ever EEEEVER change that!"
~"Exhausted? I don't know about exhausted. I'm going through hell tonight there's no doubt. But as far as that guarantee goes though I am sure about three things, I got a real sense of clairity in my head. Number one, Shane McMahon is still that word that rhymes with wussy. Number two, Stephanie McMahon is still a filthy, dirty, disgusting, skanky, bottom feeding trash bag ho. And number three, Big Mac you still have an extremly tiny penis!"
~"Have you ever been driving down the highway and you pull over and you see a big nasty piece of roadkill on the side of the road. And first, you try and ignore it but then you're compelled to look at it. And maybe you nudge it with the toe of your shoe. And maybe take a big branch and start to poke at it. Well last night, I took it a step further. Last night I kissed the nasty road kill!" -the night after Jericho kissed Stephanie McMahon Helmsley during a PPV match.
On Triple H
~ "Triple H, the only thing you need to apoligize for is for boring these Jerichoholics half to death. I mean week after week you give these whiny, tedious interviews. Don't you realize that nobody gives a damn what you have to say? So i'm begging you, no, i'm pleading with you. Please, Please SHUT THE HELL UP!"
~ "Hope you like lying on your back jack ass!"
~ "You're no stranger to suprises. I mean, it must've been a huge suprise for you when you saw Kurt Angle plant a big, juicy, wet "friendship" kiss on your wife Stephanie."
On Kurt Angle-
~ "Welcome to Raw Is Jericho! And Kirk Angel, I admit you've got the Intercontinental Championship- but you've also got bad breath and a terrible case of BO! And I would must rather look like this than like a 30 year old, never kissed a woman, Olympic geek who still lives at home with his Mommy. So Mrs. Angel, put down your double whiskey sour, pick the corn chips from between your teeth, and get ready to see your baby boy JACKASS, get a Y2J beating that he, or you... will never EEEEEEVER forget a-gain!"
~ "You say that since Y2J has had the Intercontinental Championship that America has fallen into a decline. Well I say that since you've been standing in that ring, babbling on that microphone, America has fallen asleep!"
~ "When you look at yourself, you see a couragous Olympic hero, but when I look at ya I see a rediculous Special Olympics Jack ass!"
~ "And go on about your 3 I's. Well I say, Shut the hell up! Here's another at No Way Out, I am going to give you a Y2J beating you'll never eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeever forget again!"
~ "Kirk Angle, don't sell yourself short cuz in my mind and in the mind of all these Jerichoholics, you're already a king! I mean you're the king of goofy, ugly ring attire. You're the king of all the nerds! And most importantly of all, you're the king of the 30 year old virgins. And as far we're concerned, you're already a royal pain in the ass! And that is true Jerky!"
~ "Isn't it appropo that Kirk Angle became King Of The Ring with the help of the queen of the filthy, dirty, disgusting, skanky, brutal, bottom feeding trash bag ho's!"
On The Holly's-
~ "Hardcore, I don't blame you for being jealous of your cousin. I mean, I'd be jealous too if my cousin was Saturday Morning cartoon star Elroy Jetson! But with all due respect to you Elroy, and to George and Astro as well, tonight I am going to give you a savage and horrible beating that you will never EEEEEEEEVER forget!"
~ "Hold on a second Baldcore. Since Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley, who just happens to be a filthy, dirty, disgusting, skanky, brutal, bottom feeding trash bag ho, wants me to choose a tag team partner and since you're so unhappy Val and most importantly of all, since you're here, I choose you. Let's dance baby!
~ "And I know that all your jerichoholics are wondering why i'm coming down to the ring like this [one arm tied behind the back]- well, being a legendary champion and a bad mamma jamma, it makes no difference if I have one hand tied behind my back or if I decide to tie both arms, both legs behind my back, set up the two Holly pins, roll down this rampway and score a 7-10 idiot split, becoming the ayatolla of rock and bowla! Because for Bob Holly and his boy Elroy the end result will be the same: a Y2J beating they will never EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVER forget a-gain!"
~ "Now that we're in the midst of the holiday season, Burl Ives tells us to have a holly jolly christmas. Well, there ain't gonna be nothin jolly about Bob Holly's christmas after he receives a yuletide beating from the Ayatollah of Rock and Rolla cause tonight I'm gonna deck THESE halls with the goofballs of Holly!"
~ "You know, Baldcore Holly, you seem like quite an intelligent man. See you need to understand that we don't need to be hitting each other over the head with steel chairs anymore. I mean what we should do is sit down like distinguished, intelligent gentleman and discuss our differences. You can bring some conaque for me and i'll bring some rogaine out for you. But then again considering that you're such a goofy jack ass I don't think that I could ever EEEEEEEEEEVER let you off the hook that easy!"
On Viscera-
~ "And tonight I have to wrestle big Viscera, but I gotta be honest with all the Jerichoholics tonight, i'm a little intimidated as anybody would be if they had to face the lovechild of Mr. T and Fat Albert! But I gotta warn you Viscera the Hut, I pity the fool who messes with Y2J!"
On X-Pac-
~ "And X-Pac, I am thrilled that you were able to hook up with Tori- for the first time in your entire life- you finally got to kiss a girl! How'd it feel? And even better than that, through some strange miracle, you've found the one woman in the entire universe who's even more stupid than you are! So maybe you can con her into giving you a full massage after I give you a beating that you will never, EEEEEEEEVER forget!"
On Edge and Christian-
~ "Our seven time tag team champions who completely reeked of... well, let's just say they reeked."
~ "Welcome to Raw Is Jericho! And what I want all of you Jerichoholics to do tonight is to take our your cameras because standing right over there, for the benefit of those of you with flash photography, is a hanson haired, cheesily grinning, bonefide jack ass!"
~ "But seriously Edge-ward, I know you want to be on the cover of Tiger Beat magazine. And as far as i'm concerned you're a shoe in because who knows about about "beating" than you, Tiger!"
On Rikishi Phatu-
~ "And as for you Rakascisi Fatu, what you don't know is that *I* am a dancing machine and i'll be happy to teach you a couple of my patented moves, like the Great Ceaser's Ghost or the Electric Banana, but for now i'm gonna have to destroy you AYATOLLA STYLE!"
~ "Welcome to Raw Is Jericho! And let me just say, Al Snow, that it is an absolute honor and a pleasure for you to have me as a tag team partner this evening. Thank you. I know that it's trumendous for you to even be associated with the Ayatolla of Rock and Rolla- the most legendary, most popular performer that this company has ever seen and most importantly of all, you've found someone who hates these two idiots as much as you do. I mean Rock, shame on you for choosing such a feeble-minded, portly, braggart of a tag team partner. "Oh, i'm a #1 best selling author" Big Deal! I've sold a million of these [WWF Music 4] bad boys by just allowing my swingin, super sexy theme song to be the opening track, - and Mick Foley, how stupid are you to choose such a goofy, unchairs.... *is interupted by Chyna*"
On Chyna-
~ "Chyna how DARE you come down and lie to all these Jerichoholics! You didn't come down to the ring all those times to save me- you came down to the ring to get close to me, because you've got a crush on Y2J doncha? Yeah, well unfortunetly sister, I don't feel the same way about you."
~ "Let me talk about Armageddon. The end of time. The end of the world as we know it, but in this case, the end of the grotesque freak of nature, Chyna's, pathetic wrestling career. Chyna there's nothing you can do about it. Just shut your mouth and remember, thumb's the word."
On Eddie Gurrerro-
~ "Welcome to Raw is Jericho! And Eddie, Chyna, contrary to what you may or may not beleive I am absolutely ecstatic that you two are together. I mean Y2J is joyful that you two have hooked up. But I only have one question, in your little relationship.. which one of you two is the man? And just out of curiosity, which one of you two has the bigger package? But seriously Eddie, I think the taco bell chihuahua has more latino heat than you. But, at least the chihuahua's bitch is house broken!"
On Big Bossman-
~ "Bossman, I'm sure that your mother once told you that if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. Well tonight, Y2J is telling you if you can't say anything entertaining, then shut the hell up! Cause while you're out here boring all these Jerichoholics, i'm in the back BEGGING to show off my new and improved Intercontinental Championship belt and since you're already in the ring with your goofy looking buddy Prince Allen, maybe I should just enter the ring and destroy you both AYATOLLA STYLE!"
On Road Dogg-
~ "And Road Dogg, since I needed a warm up match for Armegeddon, and since i'm beating up a long haired, tattooed, effeninant, loser of a wrestler. I figure that tonight, I would face ANOTHER long haired, tattooed, effeninant, loser of a wrestler, and quite honestly, you fit the bill. So you wanna talk about doggy style, well tonight be prepared to be destroyed AYATOLLAH STYLE!"