So, you know this girl, this woman, this beauty; I've been harping about? I was thinking today about the one time I had her on my lap in just her bra and her panties (No, I'm not going to talk about the other time I had her in my lap when she was wearing less because I'll never get through this blog). This gorgeous woman was in my lap in skimpy underthings, and I had my eyes closed the entire time.
If any guys read these, they will automatically think me a fool. And I am a fool. Maybe I should have done something, touched her in some way to make her desire me right then and there. There wasn't a lack of want.
And that's why I kept my eyes closed. I wanted to run my finger along the edge of her panties back and forth across her thigh. I wanted to put my hand flat on her back and feel the warmth of her skin. I wanted to run my fingers through her hair. I wanted to taste the salt on her neck. God, I would have done anything and everything to her with my fingers, hands, lips, mouth, tongue...but I showed restraint.
I was raised to treat women with respect, and if they don't make an outright overture of their desire for me, I reciprocate in kind. And while I've made my intentions clear, there's been no overture coming.
I guess what I dread the most is if that moment's ever brought up again, I'll hear the words that would just kill me.
"I wouldn't have minded if you had done anything."
I guess what people fail to understand about me is how much I cherish little things. Yes, today I've just talked about passion and carnal things, but if she were to just hold my hand...if someone would want to feel close to me...
Dear ladies and gentlewomen of the jury, I cannot offer any explanation for my crimes. May you show me mercy when deciding my fate.
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