weBLOG for February 8th, 2004

It was a promise to myself and I broke it. I told myself I would hold out as long as possible before I put a quote from an animated feature on a Blog, and it happened last time, when I put the quote from Disney's "The Emperor's New Groove."

My parents seperated for good when I was 7 years old. My three older siblings, the youngest of which is seven years older than me, I never really felt close to. My mother had some troubles during my formative years, and her absences slowly caused a detachment, although I still love her. I never had real close friends growing up because we moved around alot.

All this, probably combined with some chemical imbalance in my head, cause me to be very needy. Psychologically and emotionally, I ask alot of my friends; and because I know they give what I ask of them, I cherish each and every one of them.

Several good friends of mine have been taken afar by the chaos of life. I still have a clutch of them left over from my youth, and I want to hold on to them dearly. To paraphrase what is written in one of the last scenes of the movie "Stand By Me," I never had friends like I did when I was younger.

And now I'm on the threshold of losing yet another.

WHAT KIND OF BULLSHIT IS THIS?!?!?

Life changes will eventually take all my friends, this I know. Even if we stay in touch, they will be changed inexorably, and it will not be as before. Such is life. Like my dear mother chooses to say, "Most of us come into this world alone, and we leave it in much the same fashion."

I thank God for each and every friend I have ever had. I will enjoy the remaining time I have with them before they get taken from me. I love you all.

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