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I had a topic in mind for this blog, but this morning I thought of something else I want to get off of my mind also. So, instead of splitting it into two blogs, I want to kill both birds today.
Bird #1: I feel bad because I misspoke to one of my co-workers on Friday regarding my first relationship. I told her that the main reason I had gotten with Theresa Ray was that she put out. That was a lie. I got with her HOPING she'd put out, like most of the girls I fancied in high school. But I got with her because I thought she was the loveliest creature on the planet.
This little girl sitting there, mischief radiating from her eyes and smile; milky white skin, natural bleach blond hair, eyes the color of the sky just as the storm clouds begin to roll in. Add to that a great lil body she had, and she became the target of a feeling I had never felt before(and no, it wasn't lust; I had felt that one before). My mind told me to do whatever I could to make sure she became mine.
And while I did do everything I could, it was blind luck that we eventually came together. Remember folks, everything happens for a reason, and when my family informed me that we were moving to the same block she lived on; "There are no coincidences, merely the illusion of coincidence".
I wanted her, and eventually got her, to my benefit/detriment. My psyche hasn't been the same since, but I wouldn't trade my experience with her for anything.
Bird #2: When my friend started working at her motel job(and you faithful readers of my blog know which friend it is I'm speaking of), she told me of this girl she worked with that I would love to meet. She graduated from the same high school I did, she enjoyed writing and reading, and she was as weird as I was. I just had to meet her, my friend told me. Well, I resolved that I would not let my friend hook me up with a girl I didn't know and hadn't met, and I told her to forget about it.
Fast forward to Thanksgiving 2005, and my friend's plans fell through; no one was bringing her turkey that night. So, I made a plate from my family's dinner, and had my brother drop me off at the motel, where I kibbitzed with my friend for the rest of the night. We talked about a get-together her sister was going to have for me at her apartment before I came back to California that weekend; something I was looking forward to greatly.
Just before my friend's shift ended, she told me that her co-worker would be coming in to take the night shift, and that yes, her co-worker was the weird one she had told me about.
I met her co-worker, a girl named Amberly Barnum, and I thought she was cute in that Bridget Jones way. I shook her hand, talked with her for a bit, and then left with my friend. On the way back to my house, I thought about asking Amberly if she wanted to come to the farewell party they were throwing for me the following night. I even asked my friend if it was a good idea. She sounded neutral, and told me that it was up to me. When we got to my house, I told her that it was a good idea to invite Amberly. My friend told me she'd give Amberly a call right now at work, but I told her that I would take care of that. And I did. Being very proactive, I called her up at work and got her number.
The following night, plans change, as they often do when I'm involved, and my friend and I ended up at Amberly's apartment. She got a lil tipsy, I got a lot tipsy, and I made a move on her towards the end of the night, which went very well. I left for home, giddy as a schoolgirl, having thoroughly enjoyed my night.
The next day, the day I left for California, I called her up, out of the blue, and told her that I thoroughly enjoyed myself that night, and she concurred. And I told her that if not for the fact that I were leaving, I would enjoy seeing her again.
[I realize that I could have made a long story short, but apparently I've failed]
Well, shortly after that, we became a long distance couple. We were like giddy kids, and she told me that she felt like Eliza Doolittle in My Fair Lady. Needless to say, shortly after that, I fell in love with the movie, because most of that movie expressed how Amberly felt about me. I even arranged a trip to see her in March of this year, and we had a very, very, very, enjoyable weekend together.
And then, about May of this year, she just stopped talking to me. She stopped answering my voicemails, stopped responding to my letters, and even had her sister tell me that she wasn't available whenever I called the apartment. I have no idea what I did that caused her to stop talking to me. But, not wanting to seem like a crazed stalker that wouldn't stop until he found out the truth, I gave up. I let her go. And even now, it still hurts me that she just let me fall after how I felt about her. She built me up and let me down, despite the fact that I gave her an out from the relationship, if she ever couldn't live with the fact that we were hundreds of miles away.
We made our anniversary November 25th, that being the day that I kissed her for the first time. That day is rapidly approaching, and I'm thinking about her more and more. I think about how I felt she was the one for me, as we had so much in common, and were so pleased mocking each other's differences.
The alpha and the omega, the first and the last; both women little shards of memory forever to remain in my heart.
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