weBLOG for February 5th, 2004

Yesterday's quote, from "Four Weddings and a Funeral" was uttered by Hugh Grant after Andie McDowell rants off about all her sexual partners. Fucking hilarious.

Have any of you ever declared yourself to someone else, and gotten an "Aw, that's sweet" response, like when a lil kid gives his teacher a valentine? Like you're an adorable lil moron! Like there couldn't be anything farther from the mind of the person you declare yourself to.

No, I'm not angry. Why do you ask?

They say that if you want something in life, you should go out and get it. Well, everytime I've tried that, barring one time, I've been left with shit. Even the other time when I did get what I sought, I still ended up with shit.

I don't know what the fuck I want out of life. I'm so empty inside, and I just want the emptiness to end. And some days, I don't care what path I take to make that emptiness end, or at the very least, let's me forget.

I read in a book somewhere that no one wants their shit solved. Everybody likes to have their little dramas to recede into, and solving their problems takes away their ability to do that.

I want my problems solved. I want to be able to not remember a bad memory from when I was four years old. I want to be able to not remember all the negative things people have said about me in my life. I want to be able to not remember the name of every girl who has ever turned me down. I want to be able to not remember the times when my weak heart has caused me such hurt and pain throughout my entire life.

Am I asking for too much?

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