Feb 3rd: As I peer out the window I watch the snow falling from the sky everything looked so new and calm. Virgin snow making a home on the roof tops of the neighboring trailors. As my thoughts drift I am the happiest I have ever been. Brian is finally getting his sixth interveiw from the county so that he can start working as a guard at the prison and we will be off welfare. I have two beautiful boys Robert who is four and Daniel who is two and a half. And tomorrow we move into a new apartment,much better then the one we left. Looking around the room, I glance at the boys playing cars with their cousins Billy who was just three days younger then Rob and then Charlie who had just turned a year in Dec. I then fix my eyes on my sister and her husband and silently thank them for letting us stay there for the night and watching the boys tomorrow so my husband can go to his interview and I can start moving our belongings in our new home. Suddenly my thoughts were interupted by Robert's voice begging for a drink, And after several no's I caved in " Okay but you and Daniel need to go to bed afterwards.We have a busy day tomorrow." " Hey you can put your boys in with our two." Sara said " You and Brian can sleep in the spare room." "Okay sounds good." I said walking down the hall to tuck my babies in bed. Man is it cold in here. I thought as I felt a draft coming from the windows then putting extra blankets on the boys before I turned in myself. As I lay there I thanked the Lord for all that he has given us. I did not know that tomorrow my life would change forever. Feb, 4th: Waking up earlier then usual I climbed out of bed ready to start a brand new day. Walking down the hall I could hear the boys playing from their bedroom. They must have heard me because each greeted me with smiles as they walked into the kitchen where I was standing nursing my first cup of coffee. " Here you guys sit down and I'll get you some cereal." I said while pouring Cheerios in four small bouls. Boy Sara and Tom must have stayed up half the night. I thought looking at the clock seeing that it was almost eleven. Soon breakfast was over and the boys had returned to their bedrooms to play And Brian left for the interview. It was then I Decided it was a good time to settle down on the couch with another cup of coffee and the news. All was going well and everything in the world seem to be in place. Then with out the slightest warning Robert came running out of the bedroom. " Mommy mommy fire big fire mommy." He screamed in hystarics Getting to my feet I ran down the hall to see. Stopping short seeing the wall was covered with flames. Panic wanted to fill my soul but knowing that there wasn't much time I faught the urge. I quickly got Robert , Billy and Charlie out but couldn't find Daniel. With all the noice and confusion Sara and Tom woke. I yelled" SARA HELP ME DANIEL'S STILL IN THERE." Panic struck them as she and Tom faught to get dressed. I felt relieved when I saw Robert and Billy leave the trailor. Once again I pleaded " PLEASE SARA FOR GOD SAKES FORGET ABOUT YOUR CLOTHES. AND GET CHARLIE " But she wouldn't get Charlie Giving up on her I knew that I had to get Daniel out. Spotting Daniel hiding in a cupboard, I went for him but was stopped because Charlie had woundered back in so I stopped and got Charlie back out. When I turned back around I was stopped again by Tom " I will get him you go with the others. Go I'll get him I promise." He said with purpose Believing that he would save my baby I left." Not knowing that would be the last time I would see my Daniel alive. ......Meanwhile at the Station...... " Station 51, Truck 110, trailor fire at the Gardner Trailor park 3200 Lawrence Hwy. time out 11: 32." Blared LA dispatch "Station 51 KMG 365." Captain Stanley responded ............... Pulling into the long drive way Captain Stanley and his men could see the fire as it wrapped it's flames around the trailor. They could also see a large crowd standing there in the cold snow watching the fire as it took the trailer prisioner. Quickly jumping out of the rig Stanley began to bark orders out to his men. " Chet , Marco we need two inch and a halfs." Following their Captains orders they responded " Right Cap." Seeing the strong men before me, I knew that they were the only onces that could get my Daniel out. Without hesitation I ran up to the guy who was talking into what looked like a Walky Talky. " Please Mister my baby's in there you have to save him he's in the bedroom." I cried pointing to the area where he was Looking down that the woman, Captain felt his heart sinking deep in his chest. He knew that it was a slim chance that this woman's baby was alive. Still he loved children and he knew that he had to do what he could" Gage, DeSoto we have a small child trapped in a bedroom." Getting their masks on, Johnny and Roy walked toward the blaze, then disappearing in a clowd of thick smoke. " Ma'me why don't you go get warmed up." Stanley said looking down at me and seeing that I was standing in the snow with no shoes on my feet. " Everything will be fine. My men will do everything they can to save you baby." Beliving that the two firemen would bring my Daniel out, I dicided to take the mans advise. As I stood there watching through the window . Oh God I was praying like I have never prayed before. Then watching as the two firemen that had went in come back out empty, I slowly walked out of the house. All the feelings of shock and fear swept through every inch of my body. Walking closer I could hear one of them saying " Cap it's no use It's too late." With those words I snapped More fear sweeping through as I ran towards the fire. Being stopped by the man that lied to me, the man that told me everything would be fine." Ms. you can't go back in there." Captain Stanley said grabbing me by the arms. " I GOT TO GET MY BABY." I cried struggling to get free from the man that held me. " No I can't let you go in there." He said fighting to gain control All my terror and everything that made me who I was exploded " NOOOOOOOOO I HAVE TO GET HIM." I screamed striking the man in the face using every bit of strenght I had left in me. " Come on ma'me, There is nothing they can do." A police officer said over my screaming frantically while taking me back to the neighbors Sitting in a chair watching in horror as they brought out a black bundled bag I knew that it was my son and that he was gone forever. So lost in my thoughts, I didn't see the doctor as he walked in with a piece of paper." Ma'me I have to ask you these questions." Dr. Brackett said sitting on a chair in front of me. Getting a good look at it I could make out the letters D and E I knew in my heart that it was a death certificate. Looking at my father and my step mom my tears started to fall then looking at my son Robert he looked so small. He didn't understand and he asked " Where is Dano." ( The nick name we called him) I didn't know how to answer him. So I took him in my arms and I held him I never wanted to let go for fear I would lose him too. ............One month later... Sitting in a pew with his family, Roy looked over and saw Brother Jim and his wife sitting there. He knew that Brother Jim was the father of the woman that lost her son a month ago. Even though he knew that he shouldn't get emotional over victims this one was differant. Him and Brother Jim were good friends and went to the same church, And played cards every Saturday night. Jo was best friends with Lisa. Looking at his own two kids he wondered how he would react if it were his family. With that thought in his mind he would make it a point to talk to his friend as soon as the service was over. With the closing prayer Roy walked up to Brother Jim." Hi Brother Jim, it's good to see you again." Roy greeted with a hand shake. " Hi there Brother Roy, Boy that was some service." Jim said exchanging hand shakes " It sure was, tell me how is your daughter doing?" Roy asked seeing the hurt was still so fresh in his friends eyes. He didn't know if he should've asked but in his heart he knew his friend needed to talk. " I don't know brother Roy. To tell you the truth I'm worried. It's like she's giving up. She wont eat she's lost so much weight and she stays in her room with the head phones on listening to music. It's like she's shutting the world out afraid of being hurt. And she can't sleep when she does she wakes up in a cold sweat, screaming in hystarics from the nightmares.Then she suffers the rest of the night with dry heaves. I begged her to go get help but she doesn't want to. She says it hurts to much. Brian didn't get his job working for the county because Daniels death was on the day as his last interview. And to top it all off Brian left her." "You're kidding?" Roy said in disbief " I wish I were but I'm not. He said that Brandy can't take care of Rob anymore." Jim said " Well it'll just take some time. I hope he realizes that she is weak and she needs him and Rob, I'll be praying for her." Roy soothed still haunted from the day he and Johnny carried out his friends dead grandchild. .............Three months later.... After returning from their last run, the guys at station 51 settled down for a late lunch. Getting a feeling that someone else was there, they all looked up and saw a woman that stood about 4ft 9in . This woman looked frail, her eyes rimmed with dark circles. This woman had the look of someone who was very sad as if she lost something . Looking deeper Roy could see that she had the look of a greiving mother. It was then he realized that it was Brother Jim's daughter." Hi Mrs. Williams how are you doing." Roy asked with concern filling his voice. He felt a sence of saddness for he was the one that couldn't save her baby. " I'm not doing so good these days." I said holding back the tears that threatened to fall still a small part of me blamed these men for Daniels death. " Yeah I guess you wouldn't be. Hey has Brian came back yet?" Roy asked " No he hasn't. He's not coming back. But don't worry I'm going on a trip. But before I leave I feel that I should apologize for my actions. I didn't mean to hit you.but I need to know why didn't you let me go back in?" I said " I could have saved him." I ended with plee, looking at the man I had reconized as the one that lied to me and who held me down. " Hey don't worry about it, you were scared you had every right to be, but try to understand, the reason I couldn't let you back in because you wouldn't have made it out. You would have died too." Stanley assured with understanding as well as purpose.. Looking into to the woman's eyes, Roy could see that she was hurting more then a person should ever have to." Are you sure you're okay?" " Yes I'm sure." I said. Then before I knew what I was asking I asked " Why couldn't you find him?"I wanted to know "Did he suffer? I hope you understand me asking" " Mrs. Williams we couldn't find your son. After the fire was out we found him in a cupboard. Small children often hide in fear they don't realize that they are still in danger. They figure since they can't see the fire the fire can't get them. Mrs. Williams I do understand you wanting to know if he suffered. Mrs. Williams your baby did not suffer. He died of carbon monixide poisoning. He simply fell asleep before the flames got him." Roy tried to soothe the best he could as he saw the tears form in my eyes. He knew that it was hard for me to hear his words. . Without hesitation, Roy pulled me close and allowed me to weep into his chest. ..... Walking home from the station I could feel a great sence of loss. This feeling was cunsuming me. I know that Brian was right in saying that I couldn't care for Rob. I no longer had the strenght to care for anything including myself. Feeling so alone and so lost I walked into the empty apartment. I know in my heart that I could have saved him. If only that man wouldn't have stopped me. Sure I probably would have died but at least my Daniel wouldn't have died alone. Walking into the bathroom, I stared into the mirror at a person I didn't reconize anymore. It was like this person who was starring back at me no longer had a purpose "I have no more to give, I've already given it all what more can I do?" I whispered reaching into the medicine cabinet pulling out a bottle of pills that were prescribed to me at the time of Daniels death. Watching the little white pills pouring in my palm I cried out loud " God I don't want to hurt, I give up. Please don't make me hurt anymore. And I can only pray that you'll give Robert the wisdom to understand and give him the strenght to forgive me for all my wrong doings." With those being my final thoughts I poured the pills in my mouth then chased them down with water. .......... Opening my eyes I was blinded by bright lights all around me. I could hear muffled voices around me but I couldn't make out their words or who the belong to. As I turned my head my eyes focused on a man sitting on a chair in the corner. Seeing my eyes open Roy stood up and walked over to the bed." Well hello there, you gave us quite a scare.You've been a sleep for nearly a week" Roy said taking a seat on the edge of the bed. " Where am I?" I asked the man. " You're at Rampart General.And you're going to be just fine." Then thinking back I remembered what I had done " Oh God I'm so sorry." I cried not able to contain my tears " God what did I do?" I cried out sitting up in the bed wanting to run away. "Shhhhhh it's okay " Roy soothed taking this shattered girl in his arms. " I know you're hurting and my words could never take that pain away." Watching as Brother Jim walked into the room. Looking up I saw another man not just any man this man was my father." Oh dad I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you." I cried out seeking understanding " I know you didn't and I understand,and I forgive you. Brandy you've got to understand we all lost Daniel. I know it hurts you more because you are his mother. and a part of you died when the good Lord took him home. I know the kind of fear you had that day. because I had that fear when Brother Roy and his partner Johnny brought you in. I was scared cause I thought that I might not ever get to hold you again. "Oh dad.." I cried reaching out to my dad" Just hold me please like you use to do when I was small." Heading for the door, Roy was stopped by Brain and Rob walking into the room Walking over to the bed with his son in hand, Brian looked down. He knew in his heart that he was responcible for putting his wife where she was. Looking at my husband the man I fell in love with and married five years ago I didn't know what to think" What do you want from me Brian?" I asked in a whisper still haunted by the day he left as my withdrawn body began to shake uncontrollably. " I want you back in my life Brandy. I realize I was so very wrong in taking Rob away from you. He needs you and you need him. I want to be a family again. Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?" Brian said his words lined with plea. " Brian I still love you and I want nothing more then to be a family and yes I forgive you. Can you ever forgive me?" " Yes I forgive you." Brian said embracing me with open arms. Looking at my son Rob. I let out tears of joy seeing him for the first time in weeks." Oh come here you, I've missed you so." I said holding my arms out Seeing a single tear Rob took his tiny finger and wiped it away. " Mommy it's okay you don't have cry about Daniel, Grandma Williams told me he's in heaven now. " He said putting his small arms around me giving me the warmest hug I ever felt. Heading for the door Roy stopped and turned. He watched as the family started healing together. He looked up as if he was looking to the heavens " Thank you Lord thank you." He prayed as he shed tears of joy as he left the room. ................ELEVEN YEARS LATER........... Walking to the Station for a visit, I think about Rob He's sixteen and barely remembers the fire. I think of my ten old daughter Becky. She looks so innocent for her mental disability doesn't allow her to comprehend she has brother in heaven. As I stop at the Door leading inside the station I think about my youngest Brian Jr who just started Kindegarden. He looks so much Daniel it is unreal his smile is the same. Being greeted by the Engineer Roy DeSoto I walk in " Hey Brandy how are you doing?" He asked being amazed at how far I had come " Mr. DeSoto I'm doing well and I feel good. It took me many years to get this far." "Yeah but you did it, didn't you?" Roy said " Yes I did and although it's been a very long road it's still very hard. There is still nights where I wake up in a cold sweat. But you know I realized that Daniel is not dead as long as the people that loved him remember him. He'll live forever in our hearts. Our memories of him are alive and well in our souls. And it took me many tears to understand that Daniel will live forever and that I will always have a special place in my heart for him THE END |
| "The Ultimate Price" |
| This story is based on truth. And all the actual events that took place. Also this is originally a fan fiction story for the 70's show EMERGENCY. and so things such as the weather had to be changed to fit. Also some of the names were changed to protect the privacy of those persons involved. |
 |