| A professor at the University of Arizona is giving a lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in ghosts?" About 90 students raise their hands. "Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you've ever seen a ghost?" About 40 students raise their hands. "That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?" 15 students raise their hands. "That's a great response. Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?" 3 students raise their hands. "That's fantastic. But let me ask you one more question. Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?" One student way in the back raises his hand. The professor is astonished. He takes off his glasses, takes a step back, and says, "Son, in all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have slept with a ghost. You've got to come up here tell us your name and tell us about your experience. "My name is Tsosie Yazzie," the Navajo student replies, and begins to make his way up to the podium. As he ambles slowly toward the podium. The professor says, "Well Tsosie, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost." Mike replies, "Ghost? Shiiiiiit..... from way back there I thought you said "goats". |
Two tourists driving through the rez were approaching the town of Chinle and Canyon de Chelly when they began arguing about the pronunciation of the names. Their argument continued as they stopped for lunch. Standing at the counter, one tourist decided to resolve the issue by asking the employee. "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce the name of where we are?Slowly, please?" The employee leaned over the counter and said, "Burrrrrrr, grrrrrrrr, Kiiiinng." |
| A Navajo woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his check up, the doctor called his wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very serious disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your husband can die. Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant and make sure he is in a good mood. For lunch, fix him a nutritious meal. For dinner, prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don't burden him with chores. Don't discuss your stress as this will probably make him feel worse. And most importantly, you must be intimate with your husband everyday of the week. If you can do this for at least 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely." On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say to you?" The Navajo woman answered, "You're going to die." |
| TOP TEN THINGS YOU WILL NEVER HEAR AN INDIAN SAY: 10. Dang, it's gonna rain and I just waxed my car. 9. Naw, I don't feel like going snagging tonight. 8. You can't feed that to the dog! 7. No thanks we're vegetarians. 6. No thanks I don't want any fry bread. 5. Do you think my hair is too long? 4. Trim the fat off that steak. 3. The tires on that truck are too big. 2. Yes officer, I have my license, registration and insurance right here. And the #1 thing you'll never hear an Indian say, 1. PELTIER WHO? |
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