WO AI NI: Part 5

MIXED EMOTIONS

His gut feeling continued to pester him throughout the day. He was given his own chambers there. Quite extraodinary in fact. It wasn't a pain, it was more like...a disturbance. When the Emperor _kindly_ asked him to check on Miaka, he was more than happy to. He found her in her room, having a nightmare.
  'Why did you come? Why do you make me feel this way? Are you going to be like everyone else now? Uncaring? Selfish? Cruel? Why do you have to be so optimistic?' Tamahome thought, staring at her distressed face. He wanted to see her eyes. He wanted to know. He wanted to be sure. He wanted to love her...
  But he knew he couldn't.
  So he continued to stare. She suddenly grabbed his hand. "Onnichan..." Tamahome heard her say.
  "...I'm not your Onnichan." He told her stiffly. "Onnichan! Wait! Please! Take me home to my world! Onnichan! Onnichan!!" She yelled.
  "...I'm not...your Onnichan..." He told her again stiffly. Was he mad at her? No, maybe just a bit disappointed. To him, everyone in a high position were ruthless, uncaring, cruel, and selfish. He had just started to get to know her too. But here she was, now a high authority as well. He felt as though he had lost a best friend.
  "What are you doing in my room?" Miaka demanded, turning around.
  "...The Emperor was worried...he sent me to check on you." Tamahome answered truthfully.
  "The Emperor huh? Well, were you worried?" She never waited for the answer. "If I were to worry about something, it would be about where to get fresh underwear." He ignored that. He decided to forget about her being Miko. He remembered Tokaki saying that he'd have to devote his life for her, and he couldn't devote it by being crude. So instead he took a seat next to her.
  Miaka turned to look at him, wondering what he had to say. "Thanks to you," He finally stated, "I get to live in this wonderful palace." He gave her a wan smile, feeling his gut tighten.
  "Hmph! Well! I don't care!" She  said, in a half shaky voice. Tamahome knew better than that. After all, he hadn't taken care of four younger brothers and sisters who tried to lie and could never get away with it. High authority or not, she was still a human, and that's what he intended to treat her as. He scorned those who were in control, and he was tired of having to treat them differently. He would treat them equally: No higher, no lower: they were all the same. He would have respect, yes, but he wouldn't go beyond that.
  He pulled her to him, liking the feel of her warmth. He couldn't hate her. And it surprised him that she stayed there, not pushing away like usual. "Go ahead and cry. I'm here for you no matter what. I'll even be your bigger brother, free of charge." She didn't cry though. She instead clung onto him tightly. Why he never flinched at her touch made the gut feeling intensify. But he didn't want to pull away. He wanted to stay that way forever.

                                          * * * *

  Seven huh? But so far there was only two.
  But Miaka being an optimist, was determined to find them. The Emperor had told them a legend. Miaka, as the Suzaku No Miko, in order to summon Suzaku, needed to gather 7 Seishi (better known as "protectors") The Seishi would have a red glowing symbol somewhere on their body, like Tamahome's was on the forehead. It surprised him greatly when the Emperor calmly showed them that he too, was a Seishi named Hotohori. His symbol was on his neck. He then gave her a scroll which would give her directions in finding the rest of the Seishi, which she gladly took from him.
  So now, they were out looking for the third. On the scroll, it had said "great strength". Thus,  Hotohori had ordered for the strongest men to be assembled.
  Tamahome pulled up his sleeve. "Ok, I'll take them all on!" He shouted. He did...and they were all down in an instant. Miaka shook her head. "This," She pulled off her outer jacket, "is a woman's job. Strong men don't need to fight. Just like a strong dog doesn't need to bark." Of course, he never understood this at all. But after she had called them the most insulting names she could think of, Tamahome realized that he didn't care. The pagoda was going to fall - on top of her. Not thinking twice, he ran under it and stood over her, suddenly feeling the tremendous weight of the stone/marble crash onto his back. Little beads of sweat rolled off his face as he struggled to hold the entire contraption up by himself. Underneath him, he saw a pale Miaka, terrified.
  "Tama -"
  "I'll protect you. It's my duty. Forever." He gasped, his symbol grew brighter. He had no idea how long he could keep it up. He had been exhausted all day from the events that had happened too quickly. If help didn't come soon....but as was his nature, he never let into telling anyone how he felt. So he clenched his teeth as agony passed forever and time seemed to stop.
  Then suddenly, the pressure was taken off him almost miraculously. He felt hands grab him and the Miko from under the rubbish. Nearby, stood the Emperor, dusting dirt and peices of debris off his robes which meant he had tried to do something to help. But also standing nearby, was a lady of the court, pushing away the big peices as if they were nothing but pieces of scrap paper.
  "Oh man...!" Tamahome muttered. "That hurt!!" He pushed the sweat away, feeling drained. The emperor was kneeling next to Miaka. 'Yeah...forget about me!' Tamahome thought, as Hotohori checked to see if Miaka was hurt.
  "Tamahome." His deep voice caught Tamahome by surprise. He looked up to see Hotohori smiling at him. "You did well." Tamahome was pleased. "Do I get a reward?"
  "He did NOT do well at all!" Miaka cried angrily before he could get an answer. She turned to him. "You could have been killed! Then what was I supposed to do?"
  "I'm a Seishi." Tamahome said stoutly. "I do what I want. Whether you like it or not Miaka, you're going to have to be grateful to me." He winked and she blushed. He heard her mutter her thanks, but that wasn't really what was interesting Tamahome. It was the conversation that the Emperor was having with the Court Maiden. It was a fault that he had: listening in.
  "Are you a princess of the court?" Hotohori asked, clearly unsure how to approach the elegant figure.
  She stared him right in the eyes. "Yes." came her abrupt answer. Hotohori gave her a confused smile. "Well, thank you for -" He cut himself off as he realized something that apparently, no one else had noticed. He reached for it, making the young lady squeal in embarassment. Hotohori actually colored.
  "No! I wasn't...it's just that you have something here..." He said, pointing to his own collarbone. The Maiden relaxed. "Oh this?" She gave a small tug to her robes, revealing a red symbol that glowed earnestly up at them. "Watakushi wa Kourin. Better known as the Suzaku seishi Nuriko." She said sweetly.
  "The third Seishi is a woman??!" Miaka asked. Tamahome suddenly laughed. It struck him funny. Earlier, he had bet with Miaka that the next Seishi were going to be beautiful girls. He apparently won. The emperor narrowed his eyes. "What's so funny?" He demanded. Tamahome turned his head. "Nandemo..."
  "Thanks for saving us!" Miaka said cheerfully holding out her hand. "I'm Yuuki Miaka." But the offered hand wasn't taken. Instead it was ignored as Nuriko walked up to Tamahome. "I wasn't saving you. I was aiming to save him." She indicated Tamahome. He could smell her perfume and he felt her warm, silk like hands touch his cheeks.
  But what he hadn't been expecting was that she would kiss him. 

                                                       * * * *
  The sun was setting. Tamahome had never felt that tired in his life before. For the rest of the day, he went out of his way to avoid Nuriko. And Nuriko went way out of hers to piss Miaka.
Tamahome finally caught sight of her, sitting under another pagoda, looking out over the garden's pond. Her eyes sparkled again when she saw him, the look he had longed to see since.
  "I thought you would be with Nuriko." She said, looking away. He felt hurt. So she didn't want to talk to him. He understood. He turned to walk away.
  "No! Wait! I was just...!" She fell, as the pain from her leg which was injured from that afternoon's incident, overwhelmed her. Smiling, Tamahome bent down to help her, bandaging her injured leg. He wanted so much to tell her his feelings. That gut feeling had returned. But she surprised him with her questions of his opinion of Nuriko. He turned it into a big joke.
  After dinner, to a feast he had never eaten before, he entered his room, took a shower, changed his clothes and lay down on the bed to think. The Emperor had given him money as he politely requested. That alone made his day. He couldn't wait to show his father. And see Chuei and Yuiren. Pretty soon, he had fallen asleep.
  Coming to about two hours later, he wandered down the hall, telling himself crossly that it wasn't planned for him to have fallen asleep. He overheard Nuriko telling her maids that she had sent Miaka out in the darkness to the pond to find an earring that didn't even exist. He felt his temper rise. But as he was about to go after her, Nuriko grabbed his hand.
  "I will never let you go to that bitch! She's got you and the Emperor wrapped around her little finger! The Emperor's infatuated with the little twerp and he's been ignoring me for two years!"
  "I see." Miaka stood at the door, drenched from head to foot. She told Nuriko simply that she hadn't been able to find the earing, but she had been able to find a pretty stone. Also that Hotohori and her had nothing between them. Tamahome unsure how he fit in to this mess, stared from one girl to the other.
  Knowing that Miaka was in the Emperor's chambers, Nuriko and Tamahome bumped into each other in front of them. They both colored. "What's your excuse for coming here?" Nuriko asked.
  "I...I came to see er...get Miaka." Tamahome said, feeling his gut tighten *again*. He could feel Nuriko's eyes staring holes into him. He felt very uncomfortable all of a sudden. Then he turned to her. "What about you?" He demanded. Nuriko's eyes shot up. "Me? I came here to make sure that she wasn't going to do anything....bad." Came her innocent answer.
  Then from the Emperor's chamber's they heard his deep voice saying something. Instictively, they both pressed their ears eagerly against the screen of his chambers. "...That someone was you..." They heard him saying. Then silence. Both Nuriko and Tamahome looked at each other, wondering what could be happening now. But then, the wall they were pressed to, suddenly collapsed. There stood Hotohori, sword in hand, staring down at them. Now both of their faces were really red. They were caught.

                                             * * * * *

  The sun was unusually bright. Tamahome could still hear the Emperor's words: "It's not an order. I will make you fall in love with me." And Miaka's surprised hurt voice: "That's mean!"
He pursed his lips. She had stayed in his bed the entire night. He wondered what had happened, but then realized that he really didn't care. He wanted to have nothing to do with her, she was only distracting him from his job. Plus, he was no match for the Emperor. Nuriko was right. He never saw her up ahead, and bumped into her. "Yo." He said sullenly. Best to act distant.
He saw the sparkle in her eyes disappear, but he didn't care. He felt Nuriko's arm slip through his and he still didn't care.
  He had decided that today would be a good day to go back to business. He hadn't seen his family for quite some time already. Almost a month. He hoped that they would be happy to see him. But first, he had to get money. Tamahome pulled out the chewing gum. This for sure would get people lined up. But it instead ended in a tragedy.  Miaka had followed him and now he saved her from being trampled upon by merchants.
  She turned on him again angrily. "Why do you always do that?" She demanded. Instead of sunlight, it had begun to rain heavily. Blood ran down Tamahome's forehead and down to his chin. "Why do you go through so much for me? Answer!" She screamed at him. He just looked at her, without responding. Then he simply said, "Let's go home. The Emperor will be worried about you." He turned, his long, thin, ponytail whipping behind him as he did so. But she didn't move.
  "Answer me!" Miaka screamed again. "Because, because - I love you!!"
  Silence.
  Then,
  "Sorry...But I can't say I feel the same." Tamahome stonily replied. He continued walking, the gut feeling returning. Suddenly, he heard a thud. Miaka had fallen, a raging fever overwhelming her. "Mi..Miaka! Miaka! Hang on!" He looked around frantically. He saw Nuriko in the corner, watching them intently. "Nuriko! Help me! She's unconsious!" Nuriko, although she tried not to show it, was very concerned and picked Miaka up gingerly as though she were a small baby. Tamahome quickly removed his top and placed it over the unconsious Miko. "Will she be okay?" He demanded.
  Nuriko pulled it around her more tightly. "She should be fine. We have to hurry and get to the palace." Once there, they figured that Miaka would be better off in her world where she would get the right kind of treatment. They had found a way, by going to the creator of the world, Taiitsukun and asking for her help. Their journey would be long and strenuous, but if it was needed for the health of the Miko, they would do it. early the next morning, Tamahome, Nuriko, Hotohori and Miaka, went off in search of Mt. Taikyoukun.
  In the middle of the night, Nuriko woke him up. In a mischevious voice, she told him that Miaka had requested his presence by the lake. So Tamahome, wanting to see her again to apologize for his actions before, went to go see her.
  Then he heard her scream. He started to run. This was NOT good. What would he do if she died? What if she drowned? "A snake!!!" He heard her scream. He never stopped to look. "Miaka! Watch out!"
  SPLASH!!!
  ...
"T-Tamahome...? Tamahome? TAMAHOME???!!!" Miaka shouted fearfully. She swam around, trying to find him. Did he die? Was he seriously gone?
  He surfaced, breathing in fresh air. Along with him came her 'snake'. "It was a rotting log." He said, quietly. Then realizing that he was in the water with her - she had no clothes - he turned around, feeling his cheeks color for the second time. "Ano! Sumimasen!" He cried. He pushed at the rotting log ahead of him disdainfully. 'Say you're sorry Kishuku!' He told himself.
  "I'm sorry!" They said together.
  There was another silence. Then Tamahome said, "It's my fault Miaka. I'm sorry I sounded so mean. It's just that, I don't know how to respond to those kind of feelings. I've never had a woman say she loved me before. But I do want to let you know one thing - as a Seishi, I will protect you and I will make sure you get home." He climbed out of the muddy water, and walked away.
 
                                                          * * * * *


  So Nuriko was a guy. Hard to believe. But it was the truth. And now, he was busily trying to get Miaka consious. She was near death because she had stabbed herself to save the others. A fake Miaka had confronted them, and Miaka, sensing that the fake and her were connected, had stabbed herself so that the fake could perish.
  She was pale, and Tamahome and Hotohori had already given her some of their blood. Tamahome never even felt the pain as he had sliced into his flesh. 'Don't die. Please don't die.' He thought desperately, seeing her chalk-white face. 'Onegai, Suzaku, bring her back.' He wished desperately that he had been nicer and that they had found Taiitsukun faster. But now...
  "Color is returning to her cheeks!" Nuriko cried, bending over her. Hotohori and Tamahome leaned over her too. 'Please..' Her eyes opened, and everyone gave a sigh of relief. She was alive!
Without really intending to really show his emotions to everyone (especially the emperor) he hugged her tight. "Stupid! You had me worried! Don't do that!" He was interrupted by a polite but dry cough.
  "You did well." Came the voice. An old woman, who was floating was the one speaking to them. "Welcome to Mt. Taikyoukun." Hotohori quickly turned away, not wanting to see her again. Tamahome couldn't argue. The woman was UGLY! Her big eyes looked out of place on her drooping skin. Miaka though, seemed to care less. "You're Taiitsukun?" She asked. The old woman nodded. Tamahome breathed a sigh of relief. They had made it at last.
  Her place was huge. It reminded Tamahome of the palace. Hotohori never seemed the least bit impressed. They were led to a big room where little _annoying_ girls (Nyan-Nyan) helped to clean them. Seeing Miaka's face was still pale from loss of blood, Tamahome offered to give her some of his. Hotohori did the same. "It will be painful." Taiitsukun warned, "bear it."  So Tamahome and Hotohori knelt, a strange bubble-like thing forming over them. Tamahome felt queer. He saw Miaka's terrified face. He wished it would go away. He was caught off guard and the pain suddenly brought him back to reality quickly.
  He clenched his teeth. He had lost blood too, that day, so it made him feel weaker as well. The pain intensified by twice as much when the blood exited his body and flowed to her. Tamahome felt like he was going to pass out because of the pain. "bear it" she had said, and he was determined not to be so weak. Then the pain vanished, and Tamahome fell, into the arms of many Nyan-Nyan.His clothes were draped back on and he once again saw her worried face for them.
  Nuriko sighed. "Miaka, " he said, "thanks would be enough for them." He smiled at her, a strange look passing through his eyes when he looked at her. Tamahome placed his hand on her head. "Don't say anything. Just return to us." He said, trying to keep the tremble from his voice out.
  They gathered on a carpet, Miaka in the middle. "It will be harder to transport her, " Taiitsukun was saying, "since both Tamahome and Hotohori's chi was cut in half. And only Nuriko is unharmed. If you really want to go home, " she was now talking to Miaka, "then you must concentrate. Think of your world. " Miaka nodded, and her eyes travelled to Tamahome, as Tamahome's travelled to hers. He would miss her, he admitted to himself. Miss her with a vengeance. Her laughter, her smile, ....her eyes...
  "I can't!!!" Miaka cried, eyes falling on Tamahome. "You have to!" Taiitsukun's dry, fierce voice snapped, "Concentrate or you might end up in another dimension!" With that, Miaka closed her eyes again. Tamahome closed his too, and placed his hands together in concentration. He wished her luck and happiness. He wished her to go home safely. But most of all, he wished her to return. To him. He felt his power weaken and his head started to spin again. He concentrated harder, and when he opened his eyes, she was gone.

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