The Official, Authorized, Certified, and Unabridged Fish Head List
This is an official listing of all of the people I know who deserve to be slapped in the face with a dead fish. It sounds very violent and abusive, but I assure you, it's not. I is simply a way of designating those people who... well, that's exactly where this came from. This is for those people who deserve to have something done to them, but it's difficult to think of something just right for the situation. You know someone who has done something that just isn't supposed to be done, that really got to you, so much that you just wanted to... do something. Well, this is that something. Designate that person a Fish Head/Fishface, and add them to the Fish Head List. Discreetly refer to them as "Fish Head" or "Fishface." Use it as a universal insult. Mumble it under your breath as you pass by someone you "severely dislike." Just be careful not to become a Fish Head yourself.| Here it is, the official fish head list: | |
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| SARAI - She used to be my girlfriend. She did some really mean stuff while we were breaking up, and I think she still thinks she's perfect, even after I told her she's not (she never listened to me anyway). Emily suggested that maybe she deserved the title. I couldn't decide if it was too severe or not severe enough. After much consideration, I decided that the fish head treatment would be the perfect retribution. | |
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KEVIN - (Seen here playing Seymour Krelborn in Little Shop of Horrors) He's just annoying and stuff, and he played an awful April Fool's joke on Emily. Kevin is the original Fish head/Fishface. In fact he was called "Fishface" on stage during the final performance of "Little Shop of Horrors" this summer (July 27). Kevin also finds much joy in making other people's lives miserable. Well, maybe not miserable, but he is incredibly annoying. I went to the Caledonia County Fair recently, and as soon as he found me, he immediately began to pick on me about something that someone had said to me, and he yelled a rather rude comment to me and my friends while we were on the ferris wheel. I have therefore decided that kevin should be smacked in the face with a whale, rather than a fish, many, many times. |
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 | EMILY - She threatened to skip Scene Study because she was going to Lake Seymour to be miserable for two days. Luckily, she was smart and came to scene study, then went to Lake Seymour afterward, where she wasn't as miserable as she thought she would be, thereby barely staying off this list. See, good things happen when you show up. She also claims to have made an ass of herself recently when she made a very simple, honest statement which "revealed" something that was already somewhat apparent. This makes no sense because I, the only person present who could make such a judgement, didn't think she made an ass of herself. Now, she has very low self esteem and keeps saying a bunch of stupid crap about herself that's anything but true. If she's not careful, she will have to be smacked with a dead fish so she realizes that she didn't make an ass of herself, and that she's not as hated as she thinks. She is a rather interesting person, though, when she's not thinking she's pathetic and worthless. She also has a very dorky look on her face in this picture, but I'm going to let it slide because she was apparently at an awful wedding when it was taken, so that's okay. |
| Have ideas or suggested victims for the fish head list? Send them to me at [email protected] | |