My dear Jagjit,
I am in a well
here and hoping you are also in a well there. I'm writing this letter slowly,
because I know you cannot read fast.
We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the
newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we moved 20 miles.
I won't be able to send the address as the last Sardar who stayed here took
the house numbers with them for their new house so they would not have to
change their address.
Hopefully by next week we will be able to take our earlier address plate
here, and that our address will remain same too. This place is really nice.
It even has a washing machine, situated right above the toilet I'm not sure
it works too well. Last week I put in 3 shirts, pulled the chain and haven't
seen them since.
The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first
time it rained for 3 days and second time for 4 days. The coat you wanted me to
send you, your aunt said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail
with all the metal buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket.
Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the
grass at the cemetery.
By the way I took Bahu to our club's poolside. The manager is Badmash. He
told her that two piece swimming suit is not allowed in his club. We were
confused as to which piece should we remove?
Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it is a
girl or a boy, so I don't know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle.
Your uncle, Jetinder fell in the nearby well. Some men tried to pull him
out, but he fought them off bravely and drowned. We cremated him and he burned
for three days.
Your best friend, Balwinder, is no more. He died trying to fulfill his
father's last wishes. His father had wished to be buried in the sea after he
died. And your friend died while in the process of digging a grave for his
father.
There isn't much more news this time. Nothing much has happened.
Love Mom.
P.S : Jagjit, I was going to send you some money but by the time I
realized, I had already sealed off this letter.
A customer was continually bothering the waiter in a
restaurant - first, he'd asked that the air conditioning be turned up because
he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down because he was too cold, and so
on for about half an hour.
Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, he walked
back and forth and
never once got angry. So finally, a second customer
asked him why he didn't throw out the pest.
"Oh I don't care," said the waiter with a
smile. "We don't even have an air conditioner."
These two guys, George and Harry, set out in a hot air balloon to cross the Atlantic Ocean. After 37 hours in the air, George says, "Harry, we better lose some altitude so we can see where we are." Harry lets out some of the hot air in the balloon, and the balloon descends to below the cloud cover.
George says, "I still can't tell where we are, lets
ask that guy on the ground." So
Harry yells down to the man, "Hey, could you tell us where we are?"
And the man on the ground yells back, "You're in a balloon, 100 feet up in
the air." George turns to Harry
and says, "That man must be a lawyer." Harry says, "How can you tell?"
George says, "Because the advice he gave us is 100%
accurate, and totally useless."
A door-to-door vacuum salesman goes to the first house
in his new territory. He knocks, a lady
opens the door, and
before she has a chance to say anything, he runs inside
and dumps horse dung all over the carpet.
He says, "Lady, if this vacuum cleaner don't do
wonders cleaning up that horse dung, I'll eat every chunk of it."
She says, "You want tomato sauce on that? We just
moved in and we haven't got the electricity turned on yet."
A blonde named Mary decides to do something really wild.
Something she hasn't done before,.... so she goes out to
rent her first X-rated adult video. She goes to the
video store, and after looking around for
a while, selects a title that sounds very stimulating.
She drives home, lights some candles, slips into
something comfortable, and puts the tape in the VCR.
To her disappointment, there's nothing but static on the
screen, so she calls the video store to complain.
Mary: "I
just rented an adult movie from you and there's nothing on the tape but
static."
Clerk: "Sorry about that. We've had problems with some of those tapes. Which title did you rent?"
Mary: "Head
Cleaner"
Three engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a
conference. At the station, the three
accountants each buy a ticket and watch as the three engineers only buy
one ticket.
"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks
an accountant.
"Watch and you'll see," answered an engineer.
They all board the train. The
accountants take their respective seats but all three engineers cram into a
rest room and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has
departed, the conductor
comes around collecting tickets.
He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Tickets,
please!" The door
opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The
conductor takes it and moves on.
The accountants see this and agree it is a clever idea. So after the
conference, the accountants decide to copy
the engineers on the return trip and save some money. When they get to
the station, they buy one ticket for the
return trip. To their
astonishment, the engineers don't buy a ticket at all.
"How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed
accountant.
"Watch and you'll see," answered an engineer. When they board
the train all three accountants cram into
a restroom and the three engineers cram into another one nearby. The train departs.
Shortly afterward, one of the engineers leaves his restroom and walks
over to the restroom where the accountants are
hiding. He knocks on the door and says,
"Tickets, please!"