Sardarji Jokes
Sardarji is buying
a TV.
"Do you have colour
TVs?"
"Sure."
"Give me a green one, please."
Sardarji calls Air
"How long does it take to fly to
"Just a sec," says the rep.
"Thank you." says the Sardar and hangs up.
Sardarji is filling up a job application.
He promptly fills in the lines on NAME,
AGE, ADDRESS, SEX, etc.
Then came the
column SALARY EXPECTED.
After much thought he writes: Yes.
Sardarji proposes to a woman.
She says yes, if you bring me a pair of
crocodile boots.
He sets off to
Finally they find him hunting crocodiles
and watch him killing a huge one.
He walks over the reptile, checks its
legs, angrily exclaims:
"71st and *again* barefoot!"
Sardarji goes into a store and sees a shiny object.
He asks the clerk, "What is that
shiny object?"
The clerk replies, "That is a
Thermos flask."
The Sardar
asks, "What does it do?"
The clerk responds, "Keeps hot
things hot and cold things cold."
The Sardar
says, "I'll take it!"
The next day, he walks into work with his
new Thermos.
His Sardar boss
sees him and asks, "What is that shiny object with you?"
He said, "It's a Thermos
flask."
The boss asks, "What does it
do?"
He replies, "Keeps hot things hot
and cold things cold."
The boss said, "Wow, what do you
have in it?"
The Sardar
replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke."
What does
Sardarji do after taking photocopies?
He compares it with the original for
spelling mistakes.
What does Sardarji do when he has one white sheet and wants an extra
sheet?
He makes a photocopy of the white sheet.
There was
a meeting of all the Surd freedom fighters.
They were planning for a free
Santa Singh raised a point,
"Oh...we'll take Punjab from
would we develop
it?"
That was a tough one indeed.
Banta Singh had a brainwave... "No
problem! We'll attack Amrika,
it would take
over us and then we would become a State of USA and develop automatically."
All the
surds became happy with this very simple solution but an old surd was not.
Someone asked him why he wasn't happy.
The old surd replied, "THAT'S ALL
VERY WELL...
WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF BY CHANCE WE TOOK
OVER AMRIKA???"
Sardarji went to the appliance store sale and found
a bargain.
"I would like to buy this small
TV," he told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.
He hurried home removed his turban and
changed his hair style,
and returned to
tell the salesman "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," Salesman replied.
"Damn, he recognised
me," he thought. He went for a complete disguise this time, haircut, new
hair colour, new outfit, big
sunglasses, waited a few days, saw the salesman again. "I would like to
buy this TV."
"Sorry,
we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.
Frustrated, he exclaimed, "How do
you know I'm a Sardar?"
"Because that's a microwave,"
he replied.
Why did
18 Sardars go to a movie?
Because below 18 was not allowed.
How do you
measure Sardarji's intelligence?
Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear
What do
you do when Sardarji throws a hand grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.
What do you do when Sardarji
throws a pin at you?
Run like crazy...he's got a hand grenade
in his mouth.
How do you
make Sardarji laugh on Saturday?
Tell him a joke on Wednesday.
What was Sardarji doing when he held his hands tightly over his
ears?
He was trying to hold on to a thought.
Why does Sardarji work seven days a week?
So you don't have to retrain him on
Monday.
Why can't
Sardarji make ice cubes?
He always forget
the recipe.
How did Sardarji try to kill the bird?
He threw it off a cliff.
What do
you call 10 Sardars standing ear to ear?
A wind tunnel.
What do
you see when you look into Sardarji's eyes?
The back of his head.
What do
you call a Sardar who drinks only beer?
Just-beer Singh.
(Silent t)
Why does Sardarji always smile when a lightning blazes?
He thinks his picture is being shot.
Why does Sardarji have TGIF written on their shoes?
Toes Go In First.
How can
you tell when Sardarji sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it.
Why can't
Sardarji dial 911?
He can't find the 11 on the dial.
How do you
get Sardarji on the roof?
Tell him the drinks are on the house.
"Oh,
look at the dead bird."
Sardarji looked
skyward and asked, "Where, Where?
What do
smart Sardars and UFOs have in common?
You always hear about them but you never
see them.
Why does
it take longer to build a Sardar snowman than a
regular one?
You have to hollow out the head.
The doctor
told Sardarji that if he ran eight kms a day for 300 days, he
would loose 34 kgs.
At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but
he had a problem.
"What's the problem?" asked the
doctor.
"I'm 2400 kms
from home."
Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh are at a railway station.
Hari asks the
clerk: "Can I take this train to
"No," answers the clerk.
"Can I?" asks Gani.
Sardarji is travelling by
train. He feels sleepy, so he gives the guy
opposite 20
rupees to wake him up when his station comes. This guy is a
barber. He feels
that for 20 rupees Sardarji deserves more. So, when
Sardarji falls asleep, the barber quietly shaves off his beard.
When the station arrives, he wakes up Sardarji and sends him home.
Reaching home, he goes to wash his face,
and suddenly screams when he sees the mirror.
Sardarni asks,
"What's the matter?"
"The cheat on the train takes my 20
rupees and wakes up someone else!"
Having
lost his donkey Sardarji, got down to his knees and thanked God.
A passerby saw this and asked, "Your
donkey is missing. What are you
thanking God
for?"
Sardarji
replied, "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't riding the
donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too."
Sardarji got the 4th child. He fills the birth
certificate.
"Mother: Sikh.
Father: Sikh.
Kid: Chinese."
"How come you write
"Chinese" when both parents are Sikh?" "
Aah, Sardarji read a newspaper, it said every 4th person born on
the Earth now is a Chinese."
Two dogs,
Rubi and Moti, and Sardarji were sent to the outer space.
The ground control issues commands,
"Rubi!" "Woof!" (barking
sound )
"Press the red button."
"Woof! Woof!" "Moti!"
"Woof!"
"Press the white button."
"Woof! Woof!"
"Sardarji!" "Woof." "Stop
barking, feed the dogs and don't touch
anything!"
Sardarji is in
when someone
asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower.
Sardarji says
"Yes".
"Give me a thousand rupees and I'll
go get a ladder."
The man took the thousand and
disappeared.
Having waited for several hours the Sardarji figured he was taken for a
ride.
On the next day the Sardarji
is again walking along the same street
and the same man
asks him to buy the clock.
"Give me a thousand rupees and I'll
go get a ladder."
The Sardarji gives him the thousand and says I am not a fool.
This time, you wait and I'll go get a
ladder."
Santa and
Banta Singhs landed up in
Santa somehow managed to get a bottom
seat in the bus.
Unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top.
When the rush was over, Santa went
upstairs to look up Banta, found Banta in badly scared, clutching the seats in
front with both hands.
Santa
asked, "Arre Banta! What's going on? Why so
scared? I was enjoying
My ride down there?
Scared Banta replied, "Yeah, but
you've got a *driver*."
Santa with
two red ears went to see his doctor. The doctor asked him what had happened to
his ears.
"I was ironing a shirt when the
phone rang. Instead of picking up the
Phone I accidentally picked up the iron
and stuck it to my ear."
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed
in disbelief.
"But...what happened to your other
ear?"
"The scoundrel
called again."