Date:
Can't
remember
A wealthy socialite had a night out on the town with her friends.
She awoke the next morning, totally naked and with a monster of a hang-over.
So she rang for the butler and asked for a cup of strong black coffee.
"Jeeves" she said, "I can't remember a thing about last night.
How did I get to bed?"
"Well Madam, I carried you upstairs and put you to bed"
"But my dress?"
"It seemed a pity to crumple it, so I took it off and hung it up"
"But what about my underwear?"
"I thought the elastic might stop the circulation, so I took the liberty
of removing them."
"What a night!" she said. "I must have been tight!"
"Only the first time, Madam."
Seeing
God
Who are U?
A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on
the operating table she had a near death experience.
Seeing God she asked, "Is my time up?"
God said, "No you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to
live."
Upon hearing this, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face
lift, liposuction ,and a tummy tuck. She even had someone change her hair
color.
Since she had so much more time to live, she figured ,she might as well make
the most of it.
She was released from the hospital but while crossing the street on her way
home, she was killed by a car.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another
43 years? Why didn't you pull me out of the path of that car?"
God Replied,"I didn't recognize you."
Ah
Soh wants to buy a TV set. She goes to a shop.
Ah
Soh : "Do you have color TV ?"
Salesgirl
: "Yes !"
Ah
Soh : "Give me a green one, please "
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
Ah
Soh is filling up an application form for a job.
She
supplied the information for the columns on Name, Age,
Address
etc
Then
she comes to column on "Salary Expected"
She
is not sure of the question.
After
much thought, she writes " Yes "
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
After
taking photocopies of documents,
Ah Soh
always compare it with the original for spelling mistakes.
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
Ah
Soh always smile during lightning storms
Because
she thinks her picture is being taken.
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
How
can you tell if the fax is from Ah Soh ?
Because
it has a postage stamp on it.
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
Why
can't Ah Soh dial 911 ?
Because
she can't find the number 11 (eleven) on the phone.
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
Ah
Soh and her friend board a double-decker bus.
Her
friend get a seat downstair and Ah Soh goes upstair.
After
a while, her friend goes upstair to look for Ah Soh and find her
clutching
the seats in both hands and her body is shivering
Her
friend : "What happen to you ?
why
are you shivering, I was enjoying my ride downstair"
!@#$%^&*()_++_)(*&^%$#@!@#$%^&*()_____)(*&^%$#@!!@#$%^&*()___++_)(*&^%$#@!!!@#$%^&*()_++_)(*&^%$#@!
!@#$%^&*()_++_)(*&^%$#@!@#$%^&*()_____)(*&^%$#@!!@#$%^&*()___++_)(*&^%$#@!!!@#$%^&*()_++_)(*&^%$#@!