S the Jap way
A Japanese man arranged for a hooker to come to his room for the evening. Once in the room they undressed, climbed into bed, and went at it. When finished, the Japanese man jumped up, ran over to the window, took a deep breath, dove under the bed, climbed out the other side, jumped back into bed with the hooker and commenced a repeat performance. The hooker was impressed with the gusto of the second encounter. When finished, the Japanese man jumped up, ran over to the window, took a deep breath, dove under the bed, climbed out the other side, jumped back into bed with the hooker and started again! The hooker was amazed at this sequence. During the fifth encounter, she decided to try it herself. When they were done she jumped up, went to the window and took a deep breath of fresh air, dove under the bed to find 4 other Japanese men.

We're sergeants now!
Two NS men, Ah Meng and Ah Beng, have just been promoted from privates to sergeants.
Not long after, they're out for a walk and Ah Meng says, "Hey Ah Beng, there's the NCO Club. Let's go in and have some fun."
"But we's privates," protests Ah Beng.
"We's sergeants now, "says Ah Meng, pulling him inside.
"Now, Ah Beng, I'm a-gonna sit down and have me a drink."
"But we's privates," says Ah Beng. "Are you blind, boy?" asks Ah Meng, pointing at his stripes. "We's sergeants now."
So they have their drink, and pretty soon a hooker comes up to Ah Meng. "You're cute," she says, "and I'd like to date you, but I've got a bad case of gonorrhea."
Ah Meng pulls his friend to the side and whispers, "Ah Beng, go look in the dictionary and see what gonorrhea means. If it's okay, give me the okay sign." So Ah Beng goes to look it up, comes back, and gives Ah Meng the big okay sign.
Three weeks later Ah Meng is laid up in the infirmary with a terrible case of gonorrhea. "Ah Beng," he says, "why did you give me the okay sign?"
"Well, Ah Meng, in the dictionary, it says gonorrhea affects only the privates." He points to his stripes. "But we're sergeants now!"

Sorry 12345
Ah Seng: I am sorry
Ang Mo: I am sorry too.
Ah Seng: I am sorry three.
Ang Mo: What are you sorry for?
Ah Seng: I am sorry five.

SINGLISH Vs ENGLISH!
C lah! Singlish so simple why English.
When going shopping...
Britons : I'm sorry, Sir, we have just sold off this item. Could you come again in two weeks times?
S'poreans: Soni. No Stock!
When returning a call...
Britons : Hello, good day. This is Bush. May I know who page me?
S'poreans: Wei, who page?
To disagree
Britons : Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the policy.
S'poreans: Talk cock, lah you!
When asking someone to lower their voice...
Britons : Excuse me, but could you please lower your voice, I'm trying to concentrate over here.
S'poreans: Eh, tiam, can or not?
Staring confrontation
Britons : Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time. Do I know you?
S'poreans: See what?
To confront threat
Britons : You may be associated with somebody with authority, but we still have to go by the book.
S’Poreans: So what?
When someone is in the way...
Britons : Excuse me, please make way?
S'poreans: Sio ai, Siam siam!
When being accused
Britons : Excuse me. I don't recall that I’ve done that.
S'poreans: Where got?
To decline an offer
Britons : I prefer to do it my way. Sorry.
S'poreans: Du-want
To ask for follow-up action
Britons : So far we have done pretty well. Let's discuss the next move.
S'poreans: So how?


Keep abreast with breast
Perfect breasts...............................(o)(o)
Silicone breasts..............................( + )( + )
Perky breasts.................................(*)(*)
Big nipple breasts...........................(@)(@)
A cups...........................................o o
D cups...........................................{ O }{ O }
Wonder bra breasts........................(oYo)
Cold breasts...................................( ^ )( ^ )
Lopsided breasts............................(o)(O)
Pierced Breasts...............................(Q)(O)
Hanging Tassels Breast....................(p)(p)
Grandma's Breasts...........................\ o /\ o /
Against The Shower Door Breasts...( )( )
Android Breasts..............................| o | | o |
Mamogram Breasts.........................(_)(_)
Martha Stewart's Breasts.................($)($)


God's humour
And God created woman and she had 3 breasts. He then asked the woman, "Is there anything you'd like to have changed?" She replied, "Yes, could get rid of this middle breast?" And so it was done, and it was good. Then the woman exclaimed as she was holding the third breast in her hand," What can be done with this useless boob?" And God created man.

Men and women
A family is sitting around the supper table. The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of breasts are there? The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a women's breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions." "Onions?" "Yes, see them and they make you cry." This infuriated the wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mum, how many kinds of willies are there?" The mother, surprised, smiles and looks at her daughter and answers, "Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In a man's twenties, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties,it is a birch, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree " "A Christmas tree?" "Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only"