Date:
Yamaha, Socolo, SodaChan and TeleFong went
golfing regularly.
One day, one of the regular foursome was sick, so
a new member named Kong Biet filled in. He was very
good and pleasant company so they asked him to join them again the following
Sunday. "9.30 okay?"
Kong Biet said, "Fine, but I may be about ten
minutes late. Wait for me."
The following Sunday Kong Biet showed up right on
time. Not only that he played left-handed and beat them.
They agreed to meet the following Sunday at 9.30. Kong Biet
again said, "Okay, but I may be about ten minutes late. Wait for me."
The next Sunday there was Kong Biet, punctual to the
dot. This time he played right-handed and beat them again. "Okay, for 9.30
next Sunday?" one of the foursome asked.
Kong Biet, "Sure if I’m ten minutes late…"
Another golfer jumped in. "Wait a minute… You always say you may be ten
minutes late. But you’re always right on time and you
beat us whether you play right or left handed."
Kong Biet said, "Well, that’s true – I’m
superstitious. If I wake up and my wife is sleeping on her right side, I play
right-handed. If she’s sleeping on her left side, I play left-handed."
"What if she’s lying on her back?"
Kong Biet said, "That’s when I’m ten minutes
late!"
Ougch!!! My fingers
During a wedding function, everyone
gets extremely drunk and the bride's and groom's families have a storming row
and begin wrecking the reception room and generally kicking the shit out of
each other. The police get called in to break up the fight.
The following week, all members of both families appear in court. The fight
continues in the courtroom until the judge finally brings calm with the use of
his gavel, shouting, 'Silence in court!'
The courtroom goes silent and Hung, the best man, stands up and says,
'Judge, I was the best man at the wedding and I think I should explain what
happened.'
The judge agrees and asks Hung to take the stand. Hung begins his explanation
by telling the court that it is traditional in a Vietnami
wedding that the best man gets the first dance with the bride.
The judge says, 'OK.'
'Well,' said Hung, 'after I had finished the first dance, the music kept going,
so I continued dancing to the second song, and after that the music kept going
and I was dancing to the third song, when all of a sudden the groom leapt over
the table, ran towards us and gave the bride an unmerciful kick right between
her legs.'
Shocked, the judge instantly responded, 'Troi oi, that
must have hurt!'
'Hurt?' Hung replies. 'He broke three of my fingers!'
Hand-Washed
A newlywed couple returned to their
apartment after being on their honeymoon.
"Care to go upstairs and do it?" the husband asked.
"Shh!" said the bride "All the
neighbors will know what we're about to do. These walls are paper thin. In the
future, we'll have to ask each other in code. For example, how about asking,
'Have you left the washing machine door open' instead?"
So, the following night, the husband asks, "I don't suppose you left the
washing machine door open, did you?"
"No, I definitely shut it," replied the wife who rolled over and fell
asleep.
When she woke up however, she was feeling a little frisky herself and she
nudged her husband and said, "I think I did leave the washing machine door
open after all. Would you like to do some washing?"
"No, thanks," said the husband. "It was only a small load so I
did it by hand."
Another dumb blonde
A blonde came home from her first day commuting into the city. Her mother noticed she was looking a little pale and asked, "Honey, are you feeling all right?""Not really," the blonde replied. "I'm nauseous from sitting backward on the train.""Poor dear," Mom said. "Why didn't you ask the person sitting across from you to switch seats for a while?""I couldn't," she replied, "there was no one there." American English