Date:
One
Sunday morning Ah Seng burst into the living room and said, "Dad!
Mom! I have some great news for
you! I am getting married to the most
beautiful
girl in town. She lives a block away
and her name is Ah Lian.
After
dinner, Ah Seng's dad took him aside.
"Son, I have to talk with you. Your mother and I have been married
30 years.. She's a wonderful
wife
but she has never offered much excitement in the bedroom, so I used to fool
around with women a lot. Ah Lian is
actually your half-
sister,
and I'm afraid you can't marry her."
Ah Seng
was heart-broken. After eight months he
eventually started dating girls again.
A year later he came home and very proudly
announced,
"Ah Huey said yes! We're getting
married in June."
Again
his father insisted on another private conversation and broke the sad
news. "Ah Huey is your half-sister
too, Ah Seng. I'm awfully sorry about
this."
Ah Seng
was furious! He finally decided to go
to his mother with the news.
"Dad
has done so much harm.. I guess I'm
never going to get married," he complained. "Every time I fall in love, Dad tells me the girl is my
half-sister."
His
mother just shook her head. "Don't
pay any attention to what he says, dear.
He's not really your father!"
Who is more advance?
The triumph of medicine An German doctor
says "Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out
of one man put it in another and have him looking for work in six weeks."
A Chinese doctor says, "That's
nothing, we can take a lung out of one person put it in another and have him
looking for work in four weeks."
A Russian doctor says, "In my country
medicine is so advanced we can take half a heart out of one person put it in
another and have them both looking for work in two weeks."
The American doctor, not to be outdone,
says, "You guys are way behind, we just took a man with no brain out of
Texas, put him in the White House, and now half the country is looking for
work.
MicroSoft
After spending a
night with Julia Robert, Bill Gates says happily “Now I know why people call
her pretty woman”. Julia says unhappily “Now I know why he is ‘MICRO’ ‘SOFT’
”.
GREAT dentist A man and a woman met at a bar. They started getting along really well and they decide to go to her place for a drink. A few drinks later, the guy took off his shirt and washed his hands. He then took off his socks and washed his hands.The woman looked at him and said, "You must be a dentist." Flabbergasted, the guy responded, "Why yes! That's amazing; how did you determine that?"The woman replied, "Easy. You keep washing your hands." Well, one thing led to another, and they migrated to the bed. Things became more and more passionate and they made love. After their passionate deed was done, the woman remarked, "You must be a GREAT dentist!" The doctor was very surprised, and said, "Yes! Yes! I sure am a great dentist. Wow! You amaze me! And how did you know THAT, my dear?" His lover retorted, "That's easy. I didn't feel a thing." EmbarrassmentWhen Jane reached the check-out, she learned that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for all the store to hear: "Price check on lane 12, Tampax, supersize." If that was bad enough, somebody at the rear of the store misunderstood the word "tampax" for "thumbtacks". In a business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom: "Do you want the kind you push in with your thumb or the kind you pound in with a hammer?"
!@#$%^&*()_++_)(*&^%$#@!@#$%^&*()_____)(*&^%$#@!!@#$%^&*()___++_)(*&^%$#@!!!@#$%^&*()_++_)(*&^%$#@!
!@#$%^&*()_++_)(*&^%$#@!@#$%^&*()_____)(*&^%$#@!!@#$%^&*()___++_)(*&^%$#@!!!@#$%^&*()_++_)(*&^%$#@!