Date: Friday, March 5, 2004

Blonde Guy

A blonde guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting."What's up?" he says. "I'm having a heart attack!" cries the woman.

He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year old son comes up and says, "Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!"

The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the closet door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor. "You jerk!," says the husband, "my wife's having a heart attack and you're running around with no clothes on scaring the kids!"

Blonde Girl

A blonde had just gotten a new sports car and was out for a drive when she cut off a truck driver. He motioned for her to pull over. When she did, he got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket. He drew a circle on the road and told the blonde to stand in the circle and not move. He then went to her car and cut up her leather seats.

When he turned around she had a slight grin on her face, so he said, "Oh, you think that's funny? Watch this." He gets a baseball bat out of his truck and breaks every window in her car. When he turns and looks at her she has a smile on her face. He is getting really mad.

He gets his knife back out and slices all her tires. Now she's laughing. The truck driver is really starting to lose it. He goes back to his truck and gets a can of gas, pours it on her car and sets it on fire. He turns around and she is laughing so hard she is about to fall down.

"What's so funny?" The truck driver asked the blonde. She replied, "When you weren't looking, I stepped outside the circle 4 times."

First Time

The sky was dark
The moon was high
All alone just she and I
Her hair was soft
Her eyes were blue
I knew just what
She wanted to do
Her skin so soft
Her legs so fine
I ran my fingers
Down her spine
I didn't know how
But I tried my best
I started by placing
My hands on her breast
I remember my fear
My fast beating heart
But slowly she spread
Her legs apart
And when I did it
I felt no shame
All at once
The white stuff came
At last it's finished
It's all over now
My first time ever
At milking a cow.....

NAMES TO AVOID FOR YOUR KIDS

 1) Anne Chang (in Mandarin) - Dirty

 2) Anne Chin (in Mandarin) - Keep quiet

 3) Carl Chng (in Hokkein) Buttock

 4) Carmen Teng (in Hokkein) - Leg hair long

 5) Corrine Tai (in Hokkein) - Poor fellow

 6) Faye Chen (in Mandarin) Dusty

 7) Henry Mah (in Mandarin) - Hate your mum

 8) Henry Tan (in Hokkein) - Let you wait

 9) Jane Tan (in Mandarin) - Fried egg

 10) Judy Soo (in Mandarin) - Fated to lose.

 11) Leslie Tong (in Mandarin) - Rubbish bin

 12) Lucy Liaw (in Hokkein) - You are dead

 13) Michael Tan (in Cantonese) - Selling eggs

 14) Monica Chng (in Hokkein) - Touch your buttock

 15) Nelson Chong (in Mandarin) - Worms-infested bird

 16) Nelson Tan (in Mandarin) - Bird laying eggs

 17) Paul Chan (in Cantonese) - Bankrupt

 18) Suzie Leow (in Hokkein) - Lost till death

 19) Holly Moo (in Hokkein) – Let you touch

 20) Michael Tan (in Cantonese) - Selling eggs

 21) Leonard Tan (in Cantonese) – two eggs

 22) Diana Lin (in Cantonese) – Big boobs

 23) Robert Choy (in Cantonese) – Carrot

 24) Iris See (in Hokkein) – want you to die

 25) Halen Wong (in Mandarin) – Sea Dragon King

!@#$%^&*()_++_)(*&^%$#@!@#$%^&*()_____)(*&^%$#@!!@#$%^&*()___++_)(*&^%$#@!!!@#$%^&*()_++_)(*&^%$#@! !@#$%^&*()_++_)(*&^%$#@!@#$%^&*()_____)(*&^%$#@!!@#$%^&*()___++_)(*&^%$#@!!!@#$%^&*()_++_)(*&^%$#@!