Date: Wednesday, March 3, 2004

 

Kids’ argument

Two kids were arguing about whose father is stronger and could beat up whose father.

One boy said, "My father is stronger than your father."

Not to lose face, the other kid said, "Well, my mother is better than your mother."
The first boy paused a while and finally said, "I guess you're right. My father says the same thing."

 

You ask for it

A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?"
She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!" Everyone in the bar is now staring at them.
Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table.
After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations."
To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean $200?"

 

Meaningful converstion

A farmer walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for a divorce. The attorney asked, "May I help you?"
Farmer: "Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorce's."
Attorney: "well do you have any grounds?"
Farmer: "Yea, I got about 140 acres."
Attorney: " No, you don't understand, do you have a case?"
Farmer: "No, I don't have a Case, but I have a John Deere."
Attorney: "No you don't understand, I mean do you have a grudge?"
Farmer: "Yea I got a grudge, that's where I park my John Deere."
Attorney: "No sir, I mean do you have a suit?"
Farmer: "Yes sir, I got a suit. I wears it to church on Sundees."
The exasperated attorney said, "Well sir, does your wife beat you up or anything?"
"No sir, we both get up about 4:30." replies the farmer.
Finally, the attorney says, "Okay, let me put it this way. "WHY DO YOU WANT A DIVORCE?"
And the farmer says, "Well, I can never have a meaningful conversation with her."

 

!@#$%^&*()_++_)(*&^%$#@!@#$%^&*()_____)(*&^%$#@!!@#$%^&*()___++_)(*&^%$#@!!!@#$%^&*()_++_)(*&^%$#@! !@#$%^&*()_++_)(*&^%$#@!@#$%^&*()_____)(*&^%$#@!!@#$%^&*()___++_)(*&^%$#@!!!@#$%^&*()_++_)(*&^%$#@!