Date: Tuesday, Mach 2, 2004
Blonde Painting A
Porch
A blonde, wanting to earn some money,
decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy
neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner
if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much
will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her
that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. A short time
later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked.
"Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I
gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.
"And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a
Ferrari."
A young couple had just gotten married
and spent their wedding night with the young man's parents.
In the morning the mother got up and
prepared a lovely breakfast, went to the bottom of the stairs and called for
them to come down for breakfast. After a long wait the family ate without the
newlyweds. The mother said, "I wonder why they never came down to
eat?" The grooms young brother said, "Mommy, I think -- "
"Oh shut up, I don't want to hear what you think!" said the mother,
not wanting to hear any inappropriate comments from the younger brother. At
lunch time the mother again prepared a wonderful meal and again called the
young couple to eat. After another long wait the family proceeded to eat, and
after the meal was completed the mother once again said, "I wonder why
they never came down to eat?" Once again the younger brother started to
speak, but was interrupted by the mother. At dinner time once again the mother
cooked a very elaborate meal, had the table set perfect and called the newlyweds
to join the family for dinner. After another long wait the mother once again
questioned why they had not come downstairs all day. The young lad once again
said, "Mommy I think -- " "Well what is it that you think?" asked the mother rather irritated.
"I think that when my big brother came down to get the Vaseline last
night, he got my model plane glue instead."
Late
For Class
One day, three boys were late for class. The first boy came in, and the
substitute teacher asked him where he'd been. He said, "I was on top of
Beverly Hills." Then the second boy came in, and the teacher asked him
where he'd been, and he too said, "I was on top of Beverly Hills."
Then the third boy came in, and the teacher asked him where he'd been, and he
said, "On top of Beverly Hills."
Then a girl came in, and the substitute said, "I guess you were on top of
Beverly Hills as well?"
"No," she said, "I AM Beverly Hills."
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!@#$%^&*()_++_)(*&^%$#@!@#$%^&*()_____)(*&^%$#@!!@#$%^&*()___++_)(*&^%$#@!!!@#$%^&*()_++_)(*&^%$#@!