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	Phantoms Of The Empire

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			The Phantoms Of The Empire...a story of Elves...Padme's Upholstry...A Sound Effects Guy...and Twinkies. This play was done at Hannah's birthday party, the cast so far is as follows: Darth Vader: Meghan Padme: Maria (Me) Mirwen: Hannah Melda: Me Arafea: Meghan Random Lackys: Ashley With that said, please enjoy our presentation of...THE PHANTOMS OF THE EMPIRE...curtain opens
			MIRWEN: hmm....quel, quen, say, speak, na, va, is--oh why do I need to learn this stuff anyway! Sindarin is much more elegant than quenya! MELDA:My lady, how can you say that! Quenya is far superier to Sindarin in every possible way! MIRWEN:Then why did you leave to come here? MELDA: One word, lady Mirwen.... TWINKIES!!!!!!! MIRWEN:I see..... DARTH VADER: There she is, Padm�! PADME:Ah! Haha...which one? DARTH VADER: The one having trouble with her elvish grammer. MIRWEN: lanta, las, lassi, falas, falath, utilien-- MELDA: No my lady, Utuli�. Not utilien. That�s �has come�, a past tense. We�re looking for the present tense. MIRWEN: Is coming? MELDA:No, just �come�. MIRWEN: you mean enteluva? MELDA:No, it�s(she sees Vader)---Ahyyyii!!!! DARTH VADER: Stand aside, she-elf. (Melda stands aside) MIRWEN:Hey! DARTH VADER: Now, you over there, come with us! MIRWEN: Who, me? PADME: Yes, don�t make this difficult. MIRWEN: Is this an attack? DARTH VADER: It most certainly is. MIRWEN: Help! Help! MELDA: Don�t worry, lady Mirwen, he won� get you. Not while i�m around! PADME: Here, fetch. (throws a twinkie far away.) MELDA: Twinkies! (runs off) MIRWEN: No Melda, come back! DARTH VADER:Now you are mine. Uh, ours. MIRWEN: Not yet! F�a! F�a!Help! F�a! DARTH VADER: Come on, grab her! (they grab her and drag her off) MIRWEN: Nooo!!!!! Help!!!!! Grandfather!!! Uncle Elladan!!!!! Glorfindel!!!! Lindir, somebody!!!!!! (they take her to their spaceship. It blasts off.) ARAFEA: Huh? Did someone call me? MELDA(coming back, chewing a twinkie): What? Oh yes, Mirwen was being threatened by two weird people in black capes. ARAFEA: Ringwraiths! Oh no, she�s done for! Why didn�t you get me!? MELDA: Well, uh.....I was--er---busy! ARAFEA(eyeing the twinkie): Alright then, where is she now? MELDA: They took her away in a giant flying boat. ARAFEA:What? MELDA:Really, it�s true! ARAFEA: Well, we have to go tell Master Elrond now! MELDA: Why? ARAFEA: Because Mirwen is his granddaughter, and it�s the right thing to do! MELDA: But he�ll....be....mad..... ARAFEA: Toinkee! MELDA: Huh? What does that mean? ARAFEA: It means whatever you want it to. In this case it means....DUH! MELDA:Oh. SCENE 2: THE SPACESHIP (Vader plops Mirwen down on the upholstry.) PADME: No, not my upholstry! DARTH VADER: Fine then! Random Lackys, tie her to the chair! RANDOM Lackys: It�s the random Lacky song! We�re the random Lackys, we have no name! We�re faceless and sinister, and we�re here to tie you to a chair! That didn�t rhyme! Oh well, who cares! (They tie her to a chair) MIRWEN: When my grandfather gets here, he�ll kill you all! DARTH VADER: But you see he can�t get here because we�re in outer space! PADME: Uh-huh! Uh-huh! DARTH VADER: I have brought you to the seed of deepest space To this spaceship where all must pay homeage to me--- PADME: And me, and me! DARTH VADER: Oh yes, and Padme too. You have come here For one purpose and one alone Since the moment we first heard you sing We have needed you with us To serve us, to sing All our music.... our music.... MIRWEN:Sooooo....you abducted me and brought me into outer space so I could sing for you? DARTH VADER: Oh no, not me. Padme is the one who needs voice lessons. And dance lessons. And she also needs lessons on how to be a lady, for you know, being brought up by the dark side, it was difficult to teach her that exactly. MIRWEN:So, I give her lessons, then I can go home? DARTH VADER: Well, it�s not that simple. You see, we�re evil, and will most likely keep you here forever. But other than that, you�ve got the basic idea. MIRWEN: What if I don�t want to give her lessons? DARTH VADER: We can always go back to your home planet and destroy someone you love. PADME: Yes! Like.......um..... DARTH VADER: Like that elf girl you were with! MIRWEN: What? You don�t mean..... DARTH VADER: Yes, that girl...and the person you were calling for. �F�a�. Random Lackys, Sound Effects Guy, watch her until we get back! PADME: And no sitting on my upholstry! (they leave) MIRWEN: Nooooooo!!!!!!!!!! Scene...2? 3? Rivendell Darth Vader enters a room where Melda is sitting and wringing her hands in worry VADER: ...this isn't the bathroom. MELDA: jumps up You again! Who are you?! VADER: throws back cape dramatically I am...wait a minute... throws claok back dramatically with many flourishes and tosses his head I am your worst nightmare! MELDA: ... VADER: um...Boo! MELDA: my worst nightmare? ...but you're not a crazed evil flying mutant ferret that demolishes my sandcastles with a grenade launcher and an old boot! VADER: ....you're a wierd little kid. MELDA: My Lady Mirwen says I must have been dropped alot as a baby. VADER: that's right! You're a servant of Lady Mirwen! MELDA: yep! VADER: and I suppose she gestures off handishly loves you very much? MELDA: Your supposition is correct sir. VADER: dramatic cape throwback then you are coming with me! maniacle laughter Sound effects guy plays dramatic music with large lavish dramatic motions VADER: thank you, Mike. That will be sufficient. Now! Come, small strange elf child, to the farthest reaches of the galaxy! MELDA: but I don't want to! VADER: we have twinkies. MELDA: O.O TWINKIES!? Well why didn't you say so? exit Scene 4, Rivendell Padme walks into another romm where Arafea is eating paper PADME: are you Arafea? AFAREA: nods PADME: what are you DOING?! FEA: words muffled eating paper. PADME: why?! FEA: stares at paper startes at Padme long pause I don't......know. Vader walks in with Melda in tow, who is clutching a tminkie possesively PADME: oh hi, honey! Did you find the bathroom? VADER: ...no. But I found her! points to Melda PADME: even better! ...although I expect we could have hacked off some of the expensive toilet paper they have here... VADER: ah well. Can't win them all. stares at Fea what is she doing?! PADME, MELDA, FEA: eating paper. VADER: ...I don't want to know. PADME: elves are wierd. MELDA: come on Fea! Were going to the farthest reaches of the galaxy! FEA: chews thoughtfully okay. exit Scene 5, The Spaceship M�rwen: No! Not F�a and Melda! Dath Vader: Haha, YES F�a and Melda! And what did I say about the Upholstry!? he yanks her off and throws her to the random lackys Tie her to the chair! Random Lackys: It�s the random lacky song! We�re the random lackys, we have no name We�re faceless and sinister and we�re here to tie you to the chair! That didn�t rhyme....oh well who cares! they tie her to the chair Melda: Hey look, it�s M�rwen! F�a: Yeah.....why didn�t you TELL me they had random lackys!? Melda: Er...what? Oh how was I to know? F�a: Indeed. Hmf! Darth Vader: Now elf girl, you must teach Padm� the ways of the lady (and turn to the dark side of course), or watch them die!!!!!!!!!!!!! M�rwen: Noooo!!!!!!!! Melda: What? Hey, what about the twinkies? F�a: Forget the twinkies Melda! Our lives are in danger! Melda: Oh yes! Turn to the dark side, M�rwen! It�ll be fun! F�a: What? Oh I get it...reverse psychology! M�rwen: Uhh...... Melda: No I mean it! M�rwen: I�m NOT turning to the dark side,to Padm� and Vader you can�t make me! Padm�: Oh yes we can! Darth Vader: Uh, actually no we can�t. Padm�: Awwww...we can�t? There has to be something we can do! Darth Vader: I know....how about we kidnap her grandfather? Padm�(clapping her hands in delight): Oh goody! This�ll be fun! And we can get the expensive toilet paper too! Random Lackys, Sound Effects Guy, watch them all until we get back. And need I mention..... Darth Vader: They won�t get on your upholstry, don�t worry. Padm�: Well, maybe we�d better--- Random Lackys(grabbing Fea and Melda): It�s the random lacky song! We�re the random lackys, we have no name We�re faceless and sinister and we�re here to tie you to the chair! That didn�t rhyme....oh well who cares! end of scene MORE COMING SOON!!!

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	Phantoms Of The Empire

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		<<<Back


			The Phantoms Of The Empire...a story of Elves...Padme's Upholstry...A Sound Effects Guy...and Twinkies. This play was done at Hannah's birthday party, the cast so far is as follows: Darth Vader: Meghan Padme: Maria (Me) Mirwen: Hannah Melda: Me Arafea: Meghan Random Lackys: Ashley With that said, please enjoy our presentation of...THE PHANTOMS OF THE EMPIRE...curtain opens
			MIRWEN: hmm....quel, quen, say, speak, na, va, is--oh why do I need to learn this stuff anyway! Sindarin is much more elegant than quenya! MELDA:My lady, how can you say that! Quenya is far superier to Sindarin in every possible way! MIRWEN:Then why did you leave to come here? MELDA: One word, lady Mirwen.... TWINKIES!!!!!!! MIRWEN:I see..... DARTH VADER: There she is, Padm�! PADME:Ah! Haha...which one? DARTH VADER: The one having trouble with her elvish grammer. MIRWEN: lanta, las, lassi, falas, falath, utilien-- MELDA: No my lady, Utuli�. Not utilien. That�s �has come�, a past tense. We�re looking for the present tense. MIRWEN: Is coming? MELDA:No, just �come�. MIRWEN: you mean enteluva? MELDA:No, it�s(she sees Vader)---Ahyyyii!!!! DARTH VADER: Stand aside, she-elf. (Melda stands aside) MIRWEN:Hey! DARTH VADER: Now, you over there, come with us! MIRWEN: Who, me? PADME: Yes, don�t make this difficult. MIRWEN: Is this an attack? DARTH VADER: It most certainly is. MIRWEN: Help! Help! MELDA: Don�t worry, lady Mirwen, he won� get you. Not while i�m around! PADME: Here, fetch. (throws a twinkie far away.) MELDA: Twinkies! (runs off) MIRWEN: No Melda, come back! DARTH VADER:Now you are mine. Uh, ours. MIRWEN: Not yet! F�a! F�a!Help! F�a! DARTH VADER: Come on, grab her! (they grab her and drag her off) MIRWEN: Nooo!!!!! Help!!!!! Grandfather!!! Uncle Elladan!!!!! Glorfindel!!!! Lindir, somebody!!!!!! (they take her to their spaceship. It blasts off.) ARAFEA: Huh? Did someone call me? MELDA(coming back, chewing a twinkie): What? Oh yes, Mirwen was being threatened by two weird people in black capes. ARAFEA: Ringwraiths! Oh no, she�s done for! Why didn�t you get me!? MELDA: Well, uh.....I was--er---busy! ARAFEA(eyeing the twinkie): Alright then, where is she now? MELDA: They took her away in a giant flying boat. ARAFEA:What? MELDA:Really, it�s true! ARAFEA: Well, we have to go tell Master Elrond now! MELDA: Why? ARAFEA: Because Mirwen is his granddaughter, and it�s the right thing to do! MELDA: But he�ll....be....mad..... ARAFEA: Toinkee! MELDA: Huh? What does that mean? ARAFEA: It means whatever you want it to. In this case it means....DUH! MELDA:Oh. SCENE 2: THE SPACESHIP (Vader plops Mirwen down on the upholstry.) PADME: No, not my upholstry! DARTH VADER: Fine then! Random Lackys, tie her to the chair! RANDOM Lackys: It�s the random Lacky song! We�re the random Lackys, we have no name! We�re faceless and sinister, and we�re here to tie you to a chair! That didn�t rhyme! Oh well, who cares! (They tie her to a chair) MIRWEN: When my grandfather gets here, he�ll kill you all! DARTH VADER: But you see he can�t get here because we�re in outer space! PADME: Uh-huh! Uh-huh! DARTH VADER: I have brought you to the seed of deepest space To this spaceship where all must pay homeage to me--- PADME: And me, and me! DARTH VADER: Oh yes, and Padme too. You have come here For one purpose and one alone Since the moment we first heard you sing We have needed you with us To serve us, to sing All our music.... our music.... MIRWEN:Sooooo....you abducted me and brought me into outer space so I could sing for you? DARTH VADER: Oh no, not me. Padme is the one who needs voice lessons. And dance lessons. And she also needs lessons on how to be a lady, for you know, being brought up by the dark side, it was difficult to teach her that exactly. MIRWEN:So, I give her lessons, then I can go home? DARTH VADER: Well, it�s not that simple. You see, we�re evil, and will most likely keep you here forever. But other than that, you�ve got the basic idea. MIRWEN: What if I don�t want to give her lessons? DARTH VADER: We can always go back to your home planet and destroy someone you love. PADME: Yes! Like.......um..... DARTH VADER: Like that elf girl you were with! MIRWEN: What? You don�t mean..... DARTH VADER: Yes, that girl...and the person you were calling for. �F�a�. Random Lackys, Sound Effects Guy, watch her until we get back! PADME: And no sitting on my upholstry! (they leave) MIRWEN: Nooooooo!!!!!!!!!! Scene...2? 3? Rivendell Darth Vader enters a room where Melda is sitting and wringing her hands in worry VADER: ...this isn't the bathroom. MELDA: jumps up You again! Who are you?! VADER: throws back cape dramatically I am...wait a minute... throws claok back dramatically with many flourishes and tosses his head I am your worst nightmare! MELDA: ... VADER: um...Boo! MELDA: my worst nightmare? ...but you're not a crazed evil flying mutant ferret that demolishes my sandcastles with a grenade launcher and an old boot! VADER: ....you're a wierd little kid. MELDA: My Lady Mirwen says I must have been dropped alot as a baby. VADER: that's right! You're a servant of Lady Mirwen! MELDA: yep! VADER: and I suppose she gestures off handishly loves you very much? MELDA: Your supposition is correct sir. VADER: dramatic cape throwback then you are coming with me! maniacle laughter Sound effects guy plays dramatic music with large lavish dramatic motions VADER: thank you, Mike. That will be sufficient. Now! Come, small strange elf child, to the farthest reaches of the galaxy! MELDA: but I don't want to! VADER: we have twinkies. MELDA: O.O TWINKIES!? Well why didn't you say so? exit Scene 4, Rivendell Padme walks into another romm where Arafea is eating paper PADME: are you Arafea? AFAREA: nods PADME: what are you DOING?! FEA: words muffled eating paper. PADME: why?! FEA: stares at paper startes at Padme long pause I don't......know. Vader walks in with Melda in tow, who is clutching a tminkie possesively PADME: oh hi, honey! Did you find the bathroom? VADER: ...no. But I found her! points to Melda PADME: even better! ...although I expect we could have hacked off some of the expensive toilet paper they have here... VADER: ah well. Can't win them all. stares at Fea what is she doing?! PADME, MELDA, FEA: eating paper. VADER: ...I don't want to know. PADME: elves are wierd. MELDA: come on Fea! Were going to the farthest reaches of the galaxy! FEA: chews thoughtfully okay. exit Scene 5, The Spaceship M�rwen: No! Not F�a and Melda! Dath Vader: Haha, YES F�a and Melda! And what did I say about the Upholstry!? he yanks her off and throws her to the random lackys Tie her to the chair! Random Lackys: It�s the random lacky song! We�re the random lackys, we have no name We�re faceless and sinister and we�re here to tie you to the chair! That didn�t rhyme....oh well who cares! they tie her to the chair Melda: Hey look, it�s M�rwen! F�a: Yeah.....why didn�t you TELL me they had random lackys!? Melda: Er...what? Oh how was I to know? F�a: Indeed. Hmf! Darth Vader: Now elf girl, you must teach Padm� the ways of the lady (and turn to the dark side of course), or watch them die!!!!!!!!!!!!! M�rwen: Noooo!!!!!!!! Melda: What? Hey, what about the twinkies? F�a: Forget the twinkies Melda! Our lives are in danger! Melda: Oh yes! Turn to the dark side, M�rwen! It�ll be fun! F�a: What? Oh I get it...reverse psychology! M�rwen: Uhh...... Melda: No I mean it! M�rwen: I�m NOT turning to the dark side,to Padm� and Vader you can�t make me! Padm�: Oh yes we can! Darth Vader: Uh, actually no we can�t. Padm�: Awwww...we can�t? There has to be something we can do! Darth Vader: I know....how about we kidnap her grandfather? Padm�(clapping her hands in delight): Oh goody! This�ll be fun! And we can get the expensive toilet paper too! Random Lackys, Sound Effects Guy, watch them all until we get back. And need I mention..... Darth Vader: They won�t get on your upholstry, don�t worry. Padm�: Well, maybe we�d better--- Random Lackys(grabbing Fea and Melda): It�s the random lacky song! We�re the random lackys, we have no name We�re faceless and sinister and we�re here to tie you to the chair! That didn�t rhyme....oh well who cares! end of scene MORE COMING SOON!!!