News headlines that make you dance like a happy happy monkey
NINE headlines
Raging chickens eat pilatties. More at eleven.
Breaking news. As it turns out, pilatties are not a food item, but an exercise routine. Victims thought to have been digested by now.
Stoned Hippy found high in parking lot today, in front of East Manchester Mall. He had this to say in his defense: "Wanna flisim with my jibba jabba?"
John Schooley is easily amused. There will be more on this at eleven, if we feel like it.
Breaking news! It turns out, we don't feel like it. More at eleven.
It turns out, cars go fast . Our star reporter, Iexperiance Paine, found this out while standing in the middle of the road this afternoon. He is thought to be the star of the new video game coming out this Fall, "Maximum Paine."
It turns out that Brian Gordon is the only known (wo)man in the world able to function without a brain.
Cody Cuppenhamburger smells bad. Seriously. Somebody get him a breath mint and some soap.
Our star reporter, Iexperiance Paine, tried to go "Bowling For Soup" today. It reportedly ended in several third-degree burns and a broken nose.
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