What happened to that beautiful girl I once knew.  The one filled with all the hopes and dreams.  The one who was going to be something, do something , feel something. 

 

What happened to the times?  Where did it all go.  All that’s left is a little girl hiding in a woman’s body.  A scared little girl.  Afraid of everything that moves and breaths. 

 

She sits picking up the pieces of her broken life.  Trying to make something good out of it all.  She feels empty.  She feels dry.  Limp as a dishrag used too many times. 

 

A trail of bad judgement and mistakes.  A path of tears and sorrow.  Loneliness above and ahead.  No rest stops.  She keeps moving on.  But to where.  To what. 

 

She feels she is at the mercy of life.  Like a balloon in the air.  Moving to the time of the wind.  If she could only pop.  Not exhale.  She has done that.  This is something different.

 

She reacts to everyone else’s actions.  Nothing active about her.  Only passive.  Only waiting.  Waiting for something, anything.  Everything and nothing affects her.

 

She bares her cross silently.  Never stirring the waters.  To others she’s happy, without a care in the world.  Never ending advice to give out to everyone else.  But nothing for her.

 

She’s the you’re cute, but.  She’s the it’s not you it’s me.  She’s the I never meant to hurt you.  She’s the one you can’t wait to get in bed with.  She’s the one you don’t want to be in public with.

 

She’s the perfect mistress.  But never the perfect lady.  Giving all of her.  Never ending.  Always trusting.  She’s everything else but the one he wants. 

 

She’s tired.  The fight is weary.  Less  and less interested each and every day..

 

I just don’t want to exhale, I want to scream.