*****

He wishes he could read her moods better.

People -- or at least, CJ and Sam -- always comment that they're so in tune with one another. And he admits that most of the time they are. But since her trip to New York, he can't tell what she's thinking.

He teases her when she returns happier, brighter, more Donna-ish than ever, telling him stories of how beautiful the city is and how nice the people are. He notices she seems to have found a new perspective on life and implies that her good mood is because of some new Republican gomer she's met.

She gives him a little smile but doesn't confirm or deny his accusation.

That annoys him, because despite their constant snarking about each other's love lives, they've always shared information in the past. In fact, Donna usually loves to taunt him with tales of her various boyfriends. While he doesn't like to hear about it, he does appreciate knowing who his competition is. This time, she's keeping conspicuously quiet about her love life and he doesn't know what to make of it. He tries not to dwell on her silence and continues with his day full of meetings and conferences.

On Saturday he works from home, but he doesn't get much accomplished. Every few minutes he looks up, expecting Donna to be there, feeding him stats or giving an opinion, but she's not. She's at home - doing what, he has no idea - and her absence distracts him almost as much as the quiet of his apartment.

He really wishes they could just work together in the office today, but she won't go near the White House, claiming today as her one Saturday off this month and refusing to go in. He makes do by calling her instead. She gives in good-naturedly at first, answering his myriad questions patiently, but as the day wears on, she becomes irritable.

Finally, during his fifth phone call, she announces that this is his last call. She's going out for the night and she's not leaving her cell on or taking her pager. If he needs her, he'll have to wait until morning. He makes one last attempt to keep her at home, pleading the need to find out more about daycare reform, but she hangs up on him.

He tries to tamp down the jealousy that threatens to erupt. She sounded so happy when she was telling him she'd be out all night. He's forced to think about what she'll be doing and with whom she'll be doing it. He wonders if it's the man he thinks she met in New York.

He doesn't get any work done after that. Instead, he becomes acquainted with a bottle of Jack Daniels he finds at the back of his cupboard.

Monday, when he's tired and irritable from a sleepless weekend, she walks into his office looking well-rested and well-satisfied. His jealousy flares once more.

He starts asking pointed questions, hoping to get a reaction from her, an admittance about the mystery man: How was your date Saturday? Did you return the dress you wore yet? How was the sex? It must have been good, you've been smiling a lot.

She never answers him.

The weeks progress and they are caught up in the business of running the country. The president is trying to drum up support for a controversial new bill he wants passed, and the staff is working night and day, tracking down reluctant senators and setting up meetings. They're all getting tired and cranky. Josh has been working twenty-hour days, so when Sam calls and asks for some help in California, he asks Donna to go in his place. She readily agrees.

She comes back from her west coast trip looking refreshed. He thinks the sun must have been good for her and thanks her for working so hard for Sam. She blushes and says that she should be thanking him instead. He looks at her questioningly, but she doesn't elaborate.

He starts to wonder if her mystery man might be Sam. It's obvious Donna is unaware of Josh's feelings, but he and Sam have talked about it. Sam has known for a long time how Josh feels about her. Would his best friend really betray him by dating her? He dismisses the thought. Whatever her reason for being so happy, Sam is not the cause. But he still can't figure out what � or who -- is.

Several days later, she bounces into the office and airily tells him that she needs the following weekend off to visit a friend in Las Vegas. He guesses that she's planning a vacation with her secret lover and is loathe to agree to her request, but Leo intercedes and pressures him to give her the few days off.

He watches her leave on Friday afternoon with a mixture of sadness and jealousy. He spends another restless weekend, getting little sleep, imagining her with her lover.

When she returns from her vacation, though, he notices that she has lost a little bit of her verve. She's pale and tired and doesn't banter with him at all. He starts to get concerned. What happened with the guy? Did the prince turn into a frog? He's desperate to know but doesn't know how to ask. And he thinks that CJ would smack him upside the head if he did dare ask, so he remains silent.

His concern becomes exasperation as the week goes on. Donna's mood has become unfriendly and surly, not like her at all. He finally says something when she takes him to task for yelling her name too loudly.

"Donna, what is the matter with you? I haven't seen you this cranky since Jan�" he breaks off when he notices her sour expression. "You know what? I'm not even going to finish that sentence.

"Good!"

She slams out of the office and he's left staring blankly at the closed door.

*****

Dropping into her chair with a miserable sigh, Donna chastises herself for the foul mood she keeps inflicting on Josh. It isn't his fault she's so grumpy. Well, it *is* his fault, but he doesn't know that and he isn't the direct cause of her mood anyhow.

Since returning from her vacation in Las Vegas, she's been depressed. Her lover has become involved with someone else. She always knew that the relationship was temporary, simply a way for two lonely people to feel less alone, so when Sara told her that Grissom had asked her to dinner and that she had accepted, she wasn't surprised. She's glad Sara has a chance at real happiness with the person she truly loves. Really.

But a tiny part of her wonders why she can't get *her* heart's desire. It isn't that she still wants Sara. Their relationship, like so many others she's had over the past few years, was just a distraction.

What � who � she really wants is Josh but he seems to be as oblivious as ever to her feelings. And she doesn't know how to change that.

With a slump to her shoulders, she gets up and goes back to Josh's office. She taps once and then opens the door. He looks up, appearing slightly afraid that she'll bark at him again. She smiles wanly and apologizes for her recent behavior. He accepts. The day moves forward and they don't speak of it again.

Sometime during the few hours she has to return to her apartment and sleep, she decides she needs to take her destiny into her own hands. She needs to formulate a plan for getting Josh to take notice of her. She falls asleep dreaming of ways it might happen: she could wear the red dress to work one day, she could lean over and kiss him while he's dictating a memo, she could throw him across his desk and have her wicked way with his body.

In the clear light of morning, she realizes she doesn't need an elaborate plan. The simplest way is to just ask him to dinner. All it takes is one small step. It worked for Sara, and she hopes that it will work for her too.

She dresses especially carefully that morning, wearing her best suit and the robin's-egg blue blouse that highlights the color of her eyes. A quick swipe of shiny gloss across her lips and she's ready to put her plan into action.

She leaves her apartment feeling confident that the day will end well.

When she reaches the White House and enters his office to give him his schedule for the day, she notices that he can't seem to take his eyes off her. With a little bubble of joy, she realizes that the first part of her plan is working. He's looking at her as a woman, not just as his assistant. When he compliments her on her outfit, she blushes.

At lunch she runs some errands, stopping by the grocery for food and wine and hurrying back to the bullpen just as Josh is preparing for his one o'clock appointment. She knows what she needs to do, but fusses over how to ask him. By the time she has mustered the courage to approach him, he's already striding down the hall towards the Roosevelt room and the moment is lost.

It's late afternoon when she finally has another opportunity to ask him to dinner. She stops him just as he's about to see Toby to discuss one last issue for the day.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?"

He perches on the corner of his desk. "Sure. What's up?"

"I� I want to ask you something. It's not a big deal, but I was wondering-"

She stops, too nervous to continue.

"Donna? Did something happen today? Something I should know about?" He sounds worried.

"No! I was just wondering � would you be interested in having dinner with me tonight? At my house?" She blurts the request out quickly, afraid she will lose her courage if she doesn't.

He looks surprised and she blushes a deep crimson. She shouldn't have asked; it was a bad idea to suggest dinner. She's afraid that she's crossed a boundary that shouldn't be crossed.

She's about to apologize and retract her question when his expression changes. His dimples make an appearance and his eyes twinkle. She can't help but be pleased when he accepts her invitation.

He gestures to the door, comments that he really needs to see Toby, but that she can go home but that he'll see her a little later tonight. She tells him dinner will be ready at nine.

She notices that he's still reluctant to leave and her confidence grows. He's genuinely happy to be invited to dinner.

Reluctantly, she urges him to go and he slowly obeys, smiling at her the entire time.

She watches him leave and resists the urge to do a little happy dance.

*****

She asked him to dinner.

Josh tries to concentrate on the discussion he's supposed to be having with Toby, but his mind keeps wandering. Donna asked him to dinner. He grins foolishly at the prospect until he realizes he doesn't know why she asked him.

They've had dinner together frequently over the last several years, usually late at night in his office, but occasionally out at a nearby deli or diner. While enjoyable and riddled with personal conversation, the dinners have always been initiated for business reasons. But this sudden dinner invitation wasn't prompted by business and he wonders why she asked.

Toby notices his distraction and declares that the meeting is over. It takes Josh a few moments to realize that he's been dismissed.

He starts to leave Toby's office, but turns back at the last moment to ask him a question. Sam isn't here and he needs another man's opinion. Toby and Donna have always had a special connection; maybe he'll know why she suddenly asked him to dinner.

"If someone were to ask a coworker for dinner, what would you think it meant? Would you think it was a friend thing? Or would you think it meant the asker was interested in a deeper relationship with the askee?"

"Hypothetically? Or are we talking about someone specific?"

"Hypothetically." He doesn't blink an eye at the boldfaced lie, but he's sure that Toby sees through it regardless.

"Hypothetically, most people issue dinner invitations to people they want to get to know better." Toby doesn't elaborate and Josh leaves, feeling more confused than ever.

*****

When Josh arrives as Donna's apartment, he notices that she appears nervous. She's flitting around, fussing with dinner and her wine glass and she won't sit still and talk to him.

He wonders yet again what prompted this dinner invitation. He decides to be blunt and just ask. "Donna? What's going on?"

"What? Nothing," she replies, but she doesn't meet his eyes.

"Donna, yesterday you were sniping about what a horrible boss I was and today you're�" He pauses, decides not to ask if she's trying to seduce him, just in case he's wrong. "Today you asked me dinner at your apartment. What's going on?"

She sighs and flops down onto the couch next to him. He watches as she tries to formulate a reply. He can see frustration flicker across her face as she tries out different answers in her mind and rejects each one in turn. Finally, she looks up at him, a clear and determined glint in her eyes.

"Have you ever dated someone just because they were there? Not because you had an overwhelming passion for the person, but because they were available and you were available and you figured why not?"

He tamps down the urge to glibly mention Amy. Donna never really liked the other woman and he doesn't want to stir up thoughts of her right now anyway.

"Yes," he cautiously answers. "Does this have to do with New York?"

"What about New York?" She looks confused.

He realizes that he shouldn't have said anything about her mystery lover, but it's too late now and he can't backpedal convincingly. "You know, the person you met there and have been secretly seeing."

She looks surprised. "Sara?"

"Sara? Who's Sara?" He shakes his head. "No, your mystery guy. The one who broke your heart in Las Vegas."

She laughs at his explanation and he wonders what he's said that is so amusing.

"Josh, there was no guy in New York. That's were I met Sara."

He stares at her blankly, not understanding. "A � a woman?"

"Yes."

He stares at her dumbly.

She quickly rushes to explain about Sara: meeting her at a bar, Sara's visit to DC, the subsequent meetings in California and Las Vegas.

Comprehension dawns and he looks at her in horror. "You mean to tell me that you were having a relationship with a� a woman?" His voice gets suspiciously high as he chokes out the last word.

"Yes, Josh, I was."

His eyebrows shoot up and his eyes go wide.

"But � You- There was Cliff � and Jack- " He stammers, his pitch rising with every word until he finally manages to say, "You're telling me you like *girls*?"

She quirks a brow at him. "Girls?"

Some sense of self-preservation kicks in and he quickly amends it to women.

She sighs and leans back on the sofa. "No. Well, yes, but not primarily."

"Then *why*?"

"Because I was lonely," she finally confesses. "And she was lonely. And we thought � But it doesn't matter, because� never mind."

He's left trying to fill in the blanks of what she doesn't say.

"Did you� ?" He can't complete the sentence. His mind is reeling from the thought that Donna's secret lover was a woman. His Donna. But maybe she isn't, maybe she never was. He tries to formulate his question again, but doesn�t manage it any better this time. "Were you-?"

"You want to know if I slept with her," she guesses.

He nods.

She can see that he is confused. "I like men, Josh. A lot. But I like women too. We had a relationship, and all the stuff that usually goes with it," she explains.

He puts his hands to his ears like a child. "Please, Donna, I beg of you, please don't say anything more."

She looks at him in annoyance. "Are you going to listen or are you going to mock?"

With considerable effort, he schools his features into a more relaxed expression. His voice though is still much higher than normal when he finally speaks. "I'm listening."