| 20 sep 2001 "dammit, he's using the chewbacca defense!" yesterday was the first day in a LONG time that i actually felt like i was working here. because we had meetings. yup. meetings. i have a new boss now, brian. he seems like a good boss... keeps tabs on everything and stuff. i hope working with him is a good experience. the cool thing here at vivace is that everybody is pretty damn fucking smart, so i feel like i'm working with brilliiant people left and right. it's a good feeling. i've worked with morons before. morons and really annoying people. damn. it was really frustrating to have these people ask the lamest questions on the planet, and probably even worse to have to interact with people who just didn't have any tact or social skills. i'm very thankful for not having to deal with that shit anymore. did i tell you guys about when i turned on the tv this past weekend and caught the tail end of _an affair to remember_? that 1950s movie with cary grant and deborah kerr? that's the movie that was prominently featured in _sleepless in seattle_... so after i watched it, i was inspired to hop on amazon.com and buy _sleepless_ on dvd. it arrived two days ago, and i'm stoked. i love that movie. because it's about having a hunch that someone far far away is the right person for you. fated love. destiny. yuan fen. stuff like that is just so beautiful and romantic and satisfying. maybe i'll watch it this weekend. as cynical and practical i am about relationships, i'm also a total sap and cheesecake about love, so it's an interesting duality i've got going. i stay cynical so i'm not disappointed by reality, but i keep this crazy romantic side just in case i'm lucky enough to find something cosmic. it's how i balance fantasy with reality. i want this trip to NYC over with. one... i want to see what happens with karen. i know i'm not supposed to be hoping for anything, but i can't stop myself. in fact, i'm starting to have these paranoid notions now... like she's already seeing someone, or like maybe she'll use me or something. i'm just a nut, so bear with me here. and two... i want this trip over with so i can get back to my life here in the bay area and feel safe. this whole plane flight and new york mugging shit is bugging me... i check my flights every day to make sure they arrived safely and weren't cancelled due to some bomb threat or crazy shit like that. today, both my egress flights made it out safely. *phew* damn. i happened to volunteer for a taiko performance next TUESDAY at FOUR pm. shit. that means i have to leave work HELLA early, and i probably won't go back afterwards. now that's a day where i need to get to work at like 8am or something nuts like that. shit. you know, these days i just can't get up in the mornings. like i'm literally stuck in bed, like there's a magnet there holding me in tight. part of the problem is that i'm having trouble sleeping, so i fall asleep late, and that results in me getting up really late, too, and the cycle perpetuates itself. i need an ass-kicker to get me into shape... maybe i'll try nyquil again to knock me out early. oh! last night, all i dreamt about was sarah michelle gellar. you know, the _buffy_ girl. *drool* we made out and stuff. i seem to have a lot of hooking up dreams lately, right? i guess that's on my mind. but anyways, i first started liking sarah when i saw her on the milk ad campaign where she's dressed in buffy clothes with a nice cleavage shot and a cute sexy milk mustache. then i started watching _buffy_ back in its early days, but it seemed kinda dumb, so i stopped watching. plus, karine was giving me shit about liking sarah michelle gellar, and i just didn't want to fight about it, so i basically appeased her. but then, talking to emi, whose favorite show is _buffy_, i started watching again, and this season was actually really good and entertaining, so i started liking sarah again. i don't think she's a particularly talented actor, but i think she does really well with her character on the show. it fits her really well, i guess. but yeah. in my dream, she was a pretty good kisser. besides technique and emotion and stuff, another important thing about kissers is their lips. big fat lips are no good. they have to be supple yet firm. no super-squooshy lips. karine had this big problem with my actress crushes. i mean, do YOU think they're harmless? would you mind if your boyfriend had these little obssessions with media personalities? i guess at our age, it's a little juvenile, and i'll grant that it might be disturbing that someone who is supposed to give you his undying love admits to liking someone else. hm. i gotta think about that. karine's point of view was basically that my crushes (especially the one i had on katie holmes) was something like a warped sexual fantasy that i had that really offended her. i don't know about that. it's not like i dream of hooking up with them. uh, err... hm. i guess i did dream about sarah last night, but what i mean is i don't even consider the possibility of it happening in _real_ life. i don't write them fan mail and hang myself on the hope that they'll actually like me back and go out with me or something ridiculous like that. i just think they're engaging characters that i like watching on screen. i mean, they're FICTIONAL characters! i don't know if i'm making sense here. somehow, i can't seem to justify my liking various actresses to a satisfying and bulletproof degree. but basically, katie holmes was on the cover of _rolling stone_ a few years ago, and i bought the issue to read the article and look at the pictures. i told karine, and she basically detonated over the issue. i didn't really understand why she was so riled up, and we had this HUGE fight about it. *shrug* do you think her anger was justified? *ponder* e-mail me your thoughts! luckily, i'm not performing sunday, which means i don't have to go to practice tonight. because alan is hanging out at our place tonight. guy's night out! i don't know what we're gonna do... probably just see a movie or something. jay is supposed to be free tonight, too, so i'm looking forward to a very pleasant evening. hm. i haven't posted up a picture in a long time. gotta remember to start using my camera more often. the quotes are from last night's _south park_ episode. "-that's against the law! -IAMABOVETHELAW!!!" |