| 17 sep 2001 "i don't want any more new ideas, all right? i'm confused enough already!" i woke up uneasily to the dream that eric was having some sort of patriotic potluck dinner, and i had given everyone a deathly form of food poisoning due to my mayonnaise/yogurt/milk creation. ack! apparently my contribution had gone bad, and everyone was getting really ill. poor people. i felt really guilty. i just came back from visiting a coworker's trailer home. we had pho at our usual place in sunnyvale/santa clara, and he had to go back and switch cars because he needed his truck at work. dude. i've never been in a trailer home before. it was actually really nice! and only $50K, too! it was just slightly smaller than the condo i live in and it cost was a NINTH of the cost to purchase! pretty sweet deal, if you ask me, especially in term of bay area housing costs. yesterday i hung out with will. we went to the driving range, and i treated him to a jamba juice afterwards. bad news. i got up at 2pm, and i had lunch at around 3:30: two cheeseburgers animal style, and two krispy kreme donuts. i was full. and disgusted. so i therw up. and a mere two hours later, i had that smoothie, and then, we were supposed to go eat dinner. so to make some room in my stomach, i yacked yet again in the chili's parking lot. nothing like ice-cold smoothie upchucking. i swear. i'm a fuckin' bulimic. it's not good to hurl so much. anyways, the country fried steak at chili's is pretty good. but don't get the boneless buffalo wings. for $5.50 or whatever it was, you get a paltry amount of wings. boo on chili's for that ripoff. afterwards, will wanted to see some pictures of kristie. do i talk about her _that_ much? hee hee. anyways, i busted out a stack of pictures from my freshman year. and i showed will about a dozen or so pictures of me and kristie. it really made me kind of sad. yeah, in a way, i had another one of those "i miss her" kind of nights. after will left, i went back to my box of pictures and dug out a particular one i liked. i dunno. it was a very personal (read: naked, well pg-13) picture of us, and i just remember how much fun we had together taking that one... me setting the timer on my camera, both of us giggling, her sitting in my lap covering herself up before the camera snapped the shot. *shrug* lots of good times. i don't even remember what we used to fight about. i guess i was still haunted by her last night. i just want to know that she's out there, and she's happy, and most importantly, she'll talk to me. while i was laying in bed, i built up this huge resolve to e-mail her once again, just to tell her that if she ever needed to talk to me, i'd always be there. or something to that effect. but i decided to sleep on it, and this morning, i had kinda lost the feeling. but i still e-mailed her, with the subject line "repetition" because it's gonna be the same old story, i bet... i try to befriend her, and she doesn't repond. it makes me really angry with myself. because i was such an asshole to her. i really wish i had an ounce of maturity back then, because i think about the fact that if i hadn't treated her like that, we might still be friends. that frustrates me to no end. i hate the fact that i can't change certain parts of my history. it makes me feel so futile. ah well. um. oh yeah. i'm gonna miss alex's night of debauchery... his bachelor party is happening (in vegas, baby!) the same time as when i'm going to be in new york. damn! i knew this was going to happen, because i figured that first weekend of october was the only time that they'd schedule his party. damn. i think of all of my drawmates, alex would have the craziest bachelor party... the most alcohol, and most naked women... i would have loved to go and taken pictures and enjoyed the decadence. so far, the bachelor parties i've been to have been pretty tame... for jeremy's, we went to a baseball game, and then a bar afterwards... for jack's, we played paintball. which was really fun, but you know... no naked women on a paintball field. heh. i was eagerly anticipating alex's for a more "traditional" set of testosterone-fueled entertainment, but... oh well. i do think i have my priorities down, though... a week with karen is not to be missed. i didn't get to talk to her last night. i think her exams are starting, so i bet she's studying her ass off. there are a lot of logistical issues with the fact that we're flying into new york from different cities... i think it'll be a crazy time just meeting up for the first time... i think i've already talked about this, so i'll just leave it at that. i'll just say that i'll let out a big great *sigh* when we finally meet face to face in new york. and i'll be incredibly massively happy just for that moment. which reminds me... i need to call united airlines to see if my flight's still running. i heard on the news that they're only at 50% capacity. shit. they BETTER have my flight running by the time october rolls around! or i'll raise some big old ruckus. alex just e-mailed to remind us that usually they don't allow pictures to be taken in strip clubs. why the hell not? maybe because it might cause a lot of trouble if somebody's future wife or something found her husband-to-be's face wrapped in between some girl's two huge breasts? ha ha. bachelor parties like that are really strange, if you think about it... but it sounds like fun for those not tied down to any woman, so that's why i really wanted to go. you know, this whole "america uniting" thing... it isn't really that true, is it? i mean, people are starting to dissent on the whole "we are in a war" mentality. and the saddest thing is how middle eastern, or even those who just _look_ like middle easterns, are being treated. i've heard of abuse, even a murder, on a college campus, no less! it's so sad. i'm glad my boss, mohammad, doesn't look particularly middle-eastern, or else i'd be afraid for his life. they were joking at friday's meeting that his name is "john," but i didn't it so funny. that's about it for this monday. i need to go talk to my boss about my assignment. hopefully i'll get some work (i can't believe i'm saying this) because i swear, it's a pain getting through a day at work when there's nothing to do. yup, my AIM obssession has worked its way through my system, i think. oh, one last thing... thanks dj. you're a good friend. |