| 31 oct 2001 happy halloween people. i went out and bought four bags of candy, and put them in a bowl. jay and i both went out tonight, so we left the bowl outside the doorway. hm. it still looks pretty full. at least nobody stole the bowl. damn. felicity's pregnant? what other shit can happen on this show? double damn. my vcr didn't tape _dawson's_ somebody tell me what happened. ack. the diamondbacks lost? they were up 3-1 in the 9th! uh oh. things are starting to look bad for them, now that schilling didn't win them their 3rd game of the series. i wonder if they'll pitch randy johnson next. it looks bleak. i was feeling pretty down today. i drove all the way to san jose (shit, that was a dumb rhyme) to see my chiropractor, and then i drove all the way back, stopping at safeway to pick up the candy. and then i spent the whole afternoon looking at storage companies. no, not places to store my stuff, but network storage companies. i found one that i liked, nishan systems, but it turns out they aren't hiring. i was kinda pissed because their website said that there were still ASIC design openings. *sigh* so far, i've sent resumes to 10 places. i have no idea how long it will take for me to hear back. i have two problems. one is that i had a really easy time finding a job last time... companies got back to me within 2 days of me dropping off the resumes. in fact, vivace called me mere hours after i stopped by and handed in my resume. and at this place called zaffire, they interviewed me on the spot! but now... i'm hearing nothing. yes, i dropped off e-mails yesterday, but still, that brings up my next problem: having nothing to do is making the wait seem ridiculously long. i just sit at the computer and keep checking my e-mails. yeah, i know... i should just keep working at it, and the calls will eventually come in (i hope). but this whole job hunt is a rude awakening. i got bitter at vivace, and i had the crazy thought of vandalizing the building or something. but i won't. heh. it was just a flash of anger. if anybody was to blame, it's just this fucking bad economy which forced the company's hand into laying off its staff. at least, i understand that. i wasn't going to write, but i met up with the online peeps (amms, eric, adam, rita, and the honorary guest, noodletron). and that made me feel better. i thought michael was gonna drop by, but i guess we are kind of far from east bay for him to trek over here just to hang out for a bit. but then again, the folks in the city drove all the way down... i still don't get how eric has all that energy to drive all over the place. anyways, i can't believe it's only wednesday. this week has dragged on like dripping molasses. some people keep telling me that i should be happy and go out and do shit, but frankly, i don't have any inclination to do so. it's not like my friends are free on the weekdays anyway. although, i have made plans on friday to head over to oakland for the first time and visit noriko. i haven't seen her in like 5 years. she called, and dude. she sounds spaced out. i hope she's not sick or anything... she sounded really out of it. maybe i'll take eric's offer to go up to the city one of these days for lunch or something. *sigh* i just want a fucking job. it's only after losing it that i realize that i really need it for my stability and peace of mind. amazing, isn't it? ugh. i had some leftover indian food that jay and margaret brought back, and it made my stomach all upset. i puked three times (in three separate locations) while i was waiting outside lucy's. absolutely disgusting. i don't think this time was related to my bulimia. ha! no one took our candy! i guess that means more for me. time to munch on fatty choco-calories! and NERDS! i got nerds! i remember when they were all the rage back in elementary school, and i would draw pages and pages of little rotund nerd creatures just hanging around. it's not a good smile when the person's lips go really high and expose a whole bunch of gums. there's this family planning ad on tv where they're talking about pacts and stuff, and the girl, even though she has a cute face, has really messed up lips. when she smiles, all you can see is her shiny gooey gums. ick. rita got a cool new cell phone. it gives me tech envy. my black startac is so passe now. felicity's in a beauty pageant. are there any pageants for guys? and more importantly, are there any guys who would be willing to compete in them? kinda sissy, if you ask me... damn. she's pregnant. (at least, so far, in the show.) i think that's probably one of my biggest nightmares... getting a girl pregnant when i wasn't ready for having a kid. i've had that scare in my life before, and i swear, it's one of those scares that doesn't relent... i couldn't focus on anything. and the worst thing is, it doesn't go away... well, unless you take a pregnancy test or something. and one of my girlfriends had a physiological habit of skipping periods, so you can imagine how fucking scary it is when she skipped one of them. *swoon* sex. there's a lot of responsibility when it comes to sex. if there ever was a time i could hibernate, now would be it. i don't want to live through the pain of finding my next job. i know that eventually be employed (i mean, it _has_ to happen, right?) but i'm just not looking forward to my life right now. it's not exciting. some people would revel in the uncertainty and the instability. they'd probably go off and take a long vacation and head to australia on their own or something. but i'm not like that. i like stability. and as boring as it may seem, statis is my preferred state of being. yup. i'm one of _those_ people. excitement isn't my primary objective to seek out. and yeah, it's kind of lame. *shrug* yep. day 3 of unemployment. this fucking sucks. |