| 30 nov 2001 well, the good news is that i got my 2nd offer today, from greenfield networks. i went in at 11 for what i thought was a "meet some people" interview, but man, i got grilled hard. but the funny thing is, it was really satisfying for some reason to get asked the questions i got... i only had problems with one of them, and the two people i talked to were pretty cool. the second one of them, simon, seemed a little aloof at first, but he turned out to be nice (and australian). yup. i asked him about his accent. :) then, the CTO came in, and he gave me the offer. the salary was the same as what cisco gave me, so i guess it was a comparable offer, if you can compare startups to public companies. so i left with an air of happiness and confidence, and i had my celebratory cigarette in the parking lot. i was feeling pretty good. i spent the afternoon watching some espn for a bit. there's this show called _pti_ (pardon the interruption) where two guys just sit there and rant about various sports topics for like 50 seconds. there's this clock that counts down, and a scrollbar on the right of the screen that shows the current topic. and the two guys just go at it, berating each other and their subjects. it's really entertaining to see people so passionate about what they talk about. then, i FINALLY finished _the book of laughter and forgetting_. bad bad bad book. totally incoherent and random and very little insight. maybe my comprehension skills are messed up, or maybe i am missing some point beneath the surface. i dunno. but now i'm glad that i'm done with the book, and i can file this one away as one of those books i'll never touch again. i got a call from this dude michael from caspian networks. we chatted a bit, and it turns out he knows one of my freshman dormmates, ben. i'm glad that ben put in a few good words for me, because caspian is only looking to hire one person. but anyways, this leads to my problem... my problem is that i am an easy sell. so the last company i talk to is always the best in my eyes. isn't that horrible? it's like i am totally incapable of any objective viewpoint. i mean, greenfield was looking really good when i left, and then, after a really brief and ultimately unrevealing conversation with the caspian dude, i started favoring caspian! ARGH. i am so wishy washy that it really makes me upset. but anyways, michael was really friendly. the way he talked reminded me of my taiko friend felix... he sounded like he literally thought for a moment before he opened his mouth. i dunno. for a moment there, i really thought i was talking to felix. but *sigh* i dunno. the job decision always is a tough one because... i guess i'm just really greedy or something. i just want to work for everyone because i don't want to miss out on any chance of a company doing really well. i hate the idea that by choosing one thing i'm eliminating everything else. am i making sense? i like my life being wide open, but i guess that's not possible when it comes to working. so once again, i'm going to cheerlead myself and try to convince myself not to worry about it until i actually get an offer from caspian. otherwise, there's no point in worrying, right? yup. "a jedi shall not know anger. nor hatred. nor love." what an ad. it shows anakin on the left and amidala on the right, separated by this text. *shiver* i can't wait. no more shrimpy little annoying anakin. and hopefully no supercheese and jar jar binks. more light saber fights! (i hope) did anyone see the highlight of some basketball game where the guy is on a fast break, and he runs over a poor towelboy? the player who ran him over patted the boy's head after scoring the basket and went back to playing. the camera had a shot of the kid afterwards, and he looked like he was about to cry. it was so cute (in a sad way). after the game, the player gave him his jersey and signed it, which was a nice gesture. i was talking about southwestern eggrolls last night, and lo and behold, and sonya came over, we decided to go to chili's, so i got to have my eggrolls. after trying them the second time, i realize that they're just so-so. the reason why they're so good is mainly because they're deep-fried. deep-frying makes anything taste good... after i got my country fried steak and finished that (way too much gravy, more on that later)... i tried the last piece of eggroll that i was saving for sonya, but she was too full to eat it... and it was kinda gross... yup. the bad thing about deep-fried food is that they're disgusting once they're cold. but yeah, way too much gravy. i felt so sick... basically my entire dinner was fried... the eggrolls, the steak (country fried, for god's sake), greasy garlic bread... and then i followed it up with a pearl milk tea, and it was just too much. i haven't barfed that much in a long time, and this time, all the tea mixed with spicy eggroll stuff shot through my nose. and it BURNED. blech. today is designated no-barf day. i'm tired of this shit. it's really bad for me (like esophogeal cancer or something and melting me teeth) so i'm going to try my hardest to cut it out. the other day, i was driving, and i shook my head, and a big chunk of something fell out of my right ear. yup. ear wax. i've always had a problem with earjunk building up. where does ear wax come from, anyway? maybe it's time i got myself cleaned out. i used to go to the pediatrician, and she used that metal wire loop stuff... which hurt like hell sometimes, but when she finally got a grip on the piece of wax and pulled it out... it actually felt really good. and suddenly, it's like i could hear things that had previously gone undetected. nowadays, they use waterpiks and stuff, which isn't really satisfying. one thing that bothers me a bit about this whole job search is that nobody knows i have tourette's. i tic a little bit during the interviews, but no one asks me what's wrong. i'm really afraid that they think i'm totally normal, and when i have a period of time when my tics get worse, they'll freak out and think i'm a psycho or something. i mean, i don't really want to just come out and blurt out, "hey! i have tourette's!" but i do want them to know just in case my condition gets worse. *shrug* i just hope it isn't a problem. i know that at my first company out of college, my boss and even the president were really uncomfortable when they saw me ticcing. i heard them whispering about it one day, and it took six month until my performance evaluation before my boss finally asked me about it. i don't want that to happen again. *sigh* i am itching to see some friends this weekend. aside from basketball on tuesday, and seeing sonya last night, i've basically spent this whole week by myself. it really sucks. i miss having jay around at least some of the nights. it makes me wonder how i'd handle living alone. i think i'd hate it. my favorite month is over. but i think this must have been the crappiest november i've ever had. maybe. maybe someday i'll look back and be glad i took a break (albeit, a forced break) away from work. |