| 8 nov 2001 there is some stupid ass shit on tv in the afternoons. it makes me glad that i save my television viewing time for the night. right now, there's this show where three people impersonate some crazy person (the example now is a guy who collects chewing gum chewed by celebrities), and you have to ask them questions and guess who's the real person. i mean, who really cares? what's the point? sheesh. i have a big problem with my lower back. it started hurting tuesday, and my theory is that it was caused by a collision i had on the basketball court. but yesterday, my back started hurting whenever i bent or leaned over. uh oh. so it's really hard to pick up things off the ground, to take off my pants, etc. damn. this is a problem that i didn't think i would have until i was at LEAST 40 years old! what the hell is going on here? argh. i wonder if i'll be able to go to my interview tomorrow. i don't really want to, and this is a good excuse to put it off (oh, sir! i blew out my back! i can't move!). but anyway, the company is in fremont, which means i'd have to take the dumbarton bridge every day, and plus it's doing something that i think has already been done before, by my own (old) company, no less! hrmph. but i'm just too nice to tell the guy no. and like i said yesterday, i might as well get some practice getting grilled. it's a mental sharpening exercise. how the hell does martha stewart know so much about home decorations and stuff? i bet she has a huge staff that actually comes up with all the ideas. hrmph. i'm in a huffy mood today, i guess. is martha stewart pregnant? her poodge is looking kind of chunky today. she's showing us how to make beeswax candles today! *eyeroll* i'm gonna turn off the tv now. *sigh* so anyways, i woke up at 3:30 today. i got up at noon to go play basketball, but after realizing that my back was not much better, i opted to skip today's games and just go back to sleep. now i'm really screwed. i wonder what time i'll fall asleep today. you might wonder how much i have to talk about, considering that i got up an hour ago. heh. I WANT A JOB!!! i'm not kidding. i've had nearly a year of light work and idling, and i'm ready for some deep down, spleen-wrenching, yucky-muddy coding. but i think i've become pretty jaded in terms of working for startups. i mean, after working for two of them, i see how hard it is for a company to survive on a good idea alone. i mean, the company has to execute well, market its products competently, land significant chunks of sales... a lot of stuff has to come from both hard work and ingenuity and just plain luck. so i wonder how i'll approach the company when i work at my next startup. in the past, we've had meetings like little pep rallies, and afterwards, i'm all optimistic and stuff about the prospects. i'm such a gullible fool, by the way. but anyways, i think i'm much more realistic now, and if anything, i've become pretty pessimistic in any startup's ability to eventually succeed. yet... i still dream of making millions every night these days. i guess i can't let go of that idea. i have an ex-coworker who has some crazy ideas. the newest one she expounded on this past tuesday was the "10% incompetency rule." basically, she says that you should purposely fuck up sometimes at work. so that way, they'll need you to be around to fix the problem, and you're much less likely to get laid off, compared to someone who does things perfectly. as silly and ridiculous as that sounds, i think there's some truth in it. some companies don't really appreciate people (like me!) who code things up with no bugs, so when it's time to let people go, they just say, "well, you've done your job. no issues, so we're gonna can your ass." HRMPH. sometimes i'm taking a shower, and i just find that i have long scratches on my body. like my shoulders, and occasionally, on my face. it's weird. i wonder when i scratch myself... like during sleep or something? and my nails aren't even that long, since i bite them... so i wonder what is going on. right now, i have three or four parallel scratches (like from a cat!) behind my right shoulder. it feels really cool to run my hands across, and feel the consecutive grooves. ok. i just called my chiro and made an appointment for tomorrow at 9:45. oh shit. that's way too early! argh. my sleep schedule is just all messed up. you can call me "old man chang." heh. i should go to the mall tomorrow and buy myself a swanky cane. i swear. i'm so lame. when i bend down, i have to prop myself up on my knees to relieve pressure from my back. AUGH! my friends shoji, kris, and maz have picked a tentative name for their taiko group. word is that they might come back mid-next year. and they're thinking of calling their group "on ensemble." "on" is japanese for something musically related, like "note" or "sound" or something. or maybe i have no idea what i'm talking about. all i know is that "on-gaku" is japanese for music, and gaku is like "study of," so it's like the "study of 'on'" or something like that. but anyways, they're gonna need a lot of publicity, so there you go! you heard it first on dardy's journal! look for them. support them. love them. praise them! have you seen that ad for e-kara? the little teenybopper toy that's a microphone where you plug in a cartridge and plug something else in a tv, and it becomes a portable karaoke machine? that girl who's singing most of the parts is just way too sassy. WAY too sassy. as my friend alan would say, it makes me want to drop kick her face. grrrr. argh. i got another call from an east bay startup company. please, don't make me go to the east bay! i'm back on marlboro lights now. over the weekend, while waiting for peter outside the bars on castro, i went to the asian market and got a box of dunhill superior milds. they're nice. smooth. but i guess i'm so used to marlboro lights that these dunhills take too long to finish. i think i'm used to just puffing for a few short minutes, and getting it over with. maybe i don't know how to enjoy my smokes anymore. yup. besides, dunhills are expensive. ok. man. tomorrow's already friday. week 2 of my unemployment is almost over! and still, no job or even a job offer... *sniff* |