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| 31 may 2001 so.� i started my move to palo alto.� i took my like 15 jackets, all my buttondowns, and some clothes over to the new place.� and i went through this box of random shit.� in it was some EE lab stuff, like wires, wire wrapping tools, ribbon cables, this six-fingered glove with a fuzzy bumblebee on it, my valedictorian medal, a gold medal from academic decathlon nationals.... and this button (shown above) that kristie made for me one year. yeah.� that's me and her.� the love of my life.� she has a milk mustache, if you didn't notice.� and i was SO skinny back then!� (this was taken when i was 17, i think.)� i really like this picture because kristie is just teethy-cheeky-happy, and i'm in this weird perplexed-ruffled-agitated stage.� nice contrasting juxtaposition.� i don't remember the picture being taken, but it was shot in alan and matt's room in gavilan dorm our freshman year. i haven't seen this button in, i bet, over five years.� the funny thing was, i somehow got to thinking about it while watching tv, and instinctively, i went over to the "random" box in my closet.� i had this weird, karmic hunch that it was in there.� and it was!� neat. so... some of you might think it's like totally taboo and stuff to put up a picture of me and one of my ex's.� too FUCKING bad!� ha ha.� i'm gonna do what i want.� HRMPH. enough about kristie.� i've railed on enough about how i wish things were better between us.� anything would be better than the thick velvet black silence that separates us.� and believe me, i've tried to talk to her.� hm. so i've been named one of cyn's hedgies!� and she even mentioned me today!� i'm like totally fucking flattered because cyn's one of those POPULAR web celebrities.� *blushes*� i wonder if this will set off a flurry of hits similar to when clara mentioned me.� i've gone through a lot of cyn's listed links.� and i was totally befuddled when i somehow moved from the bottom of the list to near the top.� i was like, "hm.� what should i make of this?� does she _like_ my site?� what DOES it mean?" anyways.� once again, i'm letting my head get big.� it's just nice to know that i'm reaching people, i guess.� i'm basically a humble person.� modesty is way underrated these days. my rave lights came in!� but look... i'm not a raver or anything... besides the few times that i went clubbing in japan, i've only gone clubbing once my entire life in the states.� but after meeting up with some friends last week, there was word of some party this upcoming week.� you know.� asian party.� lots of hip hop and techno.� and girls and boys wearing black. i went to my first stateside clubbing outing with diana and some of her friends.� i was pretty much fascinated by all the lightstick stuff.� people do some amazing shit with them.� so last friday night, while i was trying to sleep, i got this flash of inspiration to drag my naked ass out of bed, log on, and surf the web looking for battery-powered LED lights.� i don't like glowsticks because they're disposable and stuff, so i decided on getting the electronic ones.� i don't skimp out with it comes to accessories! i just went to the front lobby and picked them up.� they're photon micro-light II's.� one blue one and one green one.� normally selling for $20 a pop, they came in at $14 each plus $9 shipping (priority shipping, so they could get here in time for the party, you know).� so i saved a little bit of money overall.� i'm excited to try them out.� if you lived at my house (which obviously none of you do), then you might catch me sneaking into the bathroom at night to practice in front of the mirror in the dark.� HAHAHAHA.� no.� i need to figure out how to do all the cool swirlies and stuff without looking like a fool.� parties are all about image, you know... i'm kind of freaked out about moving.� i have a lot of shit.� and it's not furniture shit, which is simply a manpower and transporation issue.� it's a lot of random shit that's not easily boxable.� like batteries.� i have all these stray batteries around.� and i hate the fact that i always buy batteries, and then lose track of them, so when i need some fresh ones, i just go out and buy some more.� it's a neverending cycle of battery accumulation. ideally, i want to get my bed and television (sleep and entertainment needs) moved out this weekend, so i'll start sleeping over at the new place starting next week.� we'll see.� i have an opportunity this weekend to meet online peeps adam and eric at stanford, so i'm going to try my hardest not to miss that.� i really want to meet you online people out there.� unless you're like fucking psycho or something. shoji e-mailed me and said some really encouraging stuff about my current taiko (read: non-existent taiko life) slump.� he suggested i get a drum pad and a book on stick control so i can maintain and develop my percussion skills.� i think it's a good idea.� something to get me off my ass and work on. i swear.� i used to have so many skills.� tennis.� piano.� taiko.� being a generally quick-witted and smart guy.� now, due to the monotony of engineering life and my overall self-improvement laziness and neglect, my brain has just become a big piece of mush.� and like i've said before, taiko is one of the very few motivating factors in my life, so if i can't get psyched about this, it's a bad sign that i probably can't get excited about anything.� so i BETTER be stoked! i had a dream last night that i was driving with my friend jeremy, and he told me that he was getting a divorce.� jeremy was the first to get married out of my college gang of eight guys.� i think he and kate are like the perfect couple, so... obviously this came as a huge slumber shock to me. but i do wonder... if half of the marriages in the u.s. end in divorce, aren't the odds high that it will happen to at least one of our marriages?� that scares me.� like i was watching this movie, _it could happen to you_, on tv last night.� it was about nicholas cage, a cop, who splits is $4 million lottery ticket winnings with bridget fonda, a waitress.� and cage's wife, played by the infinitely annoying rosie perez is a total bitch about it, and tries to get all the money for herself. and as i was watching, i wondered how cage's character could have married such a FUCKING BITCH.� hm.� i guess people do change.� the sparks fly at first, but then they die down, and people basically get bored and apathetic.� isn't that just depressing?� and what's worse, neither i or any of my friends are immune to it. one of the saddest moments in my life was when kristie and i ate lunch, and neither of us said a word to each other during the entire meal.� thinking about that just crushes me. sigh.� i've definitely fucked up a lot in my personal life. |