| 23 may 2001 so. _buffy_ was awesome, until the last moment. damn. i just didn't make any sense at the end. what did buffy's death have to do with closing down that portal? anyways, i was really nervous while watching it. being a SERIES finale, the show had license to kill off any or all of the main characters, so i was just on the edge of my seat the whole time. i've never gotten this way about a tv show! but sigh. buffy died. and the saddest thing was seeing spike crying. yeah. the badass vampire was sobbing over the slayer that he loved. poor spike. i wonder what the hell they're going to do when the show moves to UPN... how are they going to resurrect buffy's character? the world wonders. with exception the incomprehensible ending, it was the best season finale i've seen so far this year. i guess the last one for me are the _dawson's_ and _felicity_ finales tonight. ----- so. i got all worked up over karen's seemingly brusque e-mail for nothing. you know, it's really hard to read a person when all you see are emotionless letters. i guess i take that emotionlessness literally, so i just thought she was being curt and rude. i should have known better, because you know, we just had a really nice conversation the night before. but anyways, karen e-mailed me back, and she was just tired. that's all. i've said some really dangerous things about how i feel about her, so i guess it wasn't out of the question that she'd get all freaked out by the stuff i wrote. she's an interesting creature. i don't think she's developed into a codependent person like me. not that i can't be independent when i have to, but i think karen hasn't cultivated the idea of life with somebody else in mind. so that's something she's going to have to work on, and i'll try to help her in any way i can. that's currently the biggest obstacle if karen and i ever get together. i don't think she's quite psychologically prepared for a full-blown relationship thing. but part of her charm is the fact that she's so level-headed and self-sufficient... i wonder how it would be if she became more emotionally tied to someone. i certainly have never seen her in that state, because she's still got a ways to go on that transmogrification. ----- happy hump day! yup. after today, only two more days until memorial day weekend, when i'll probably spend most the long weekend with taiko friends. the big collegiate taiko invitational is being held at stanford this weekend. i hope to catch some time with true old-schoolers of stanford taiko, ann (who co-founded the group) and her husband and taiko alum zack. but yesterday, i was talking to my friend kara over ICQ, and i mentioned how i still spend a lot of time with taikofolk. she said offhand how i needed to get away from that, and as much as i love those people, i think she's right. shit, i mean, i've been out of school for four years now, and i'm STILL hung up on my social life with a long-past existence with my college performing group? ack! i know what i need. i need to find a new social circle. i should really grow out of my taiko life, and i can't depend too much on my college drawmates. they're all married and stuff. so that leaves me feeling a bit empty and lonely sometimes. but... where to find my next social sphere? that's a tough question. it's not like i can just walk into a building, and BAM! i find my next group of good friends. i think the older you get, the harder it is for you to find new friends. because most people are more or less settled in their lives, and not as receptive to bringing a new person into the fold. so. that's my dilemma. i think my big fantasy now is that when i move to the condo complex in june, i'll bump into some cool people there. but honestly... would that really happen? *shrug* i'll just have to see... who knows... my friend cindy met her current husband because they shared a similar love for motorcycles. ----- it's fucking hot out there. i drove home yesterday, and i noticed the cd case in my car had melted and solidified into a warped plastic mass. WOW. does it really get that hot? or is my cd case made of crappy plastic? sheesh, man. my car gets really hot. it's black. so don't lick the paint, lest you get blisters on your tongue. ----- i think i'm really sensitive to food now. the slightest heavy meal will put me to sleep. i actually woke up early enough today to stop by mcdonald's and grab breakfast before heading to the office. i got a sausage mcmuffin, a sausage and egg biscuit, a hash brown, and a carton of milk. shit. i nearly passed out in my cube, and it was barely 11am! that must be a record for me in terms of the earliest i've gotten food coma during the day. but these days i've learned that it lasts for about half an hour or so, and i just have to wait it out. but in the meantime, i'm just a walking (or rather, sitting) lethargic zombie. i have to start eating more. i'm afraid that my metabolism has really slowed down, so the slightest increase in my food consumption will just start adding all this fat in places i don't want it. ----- and finally, i think i'm coming down with something. despite the heat during the day, it gets kind of chilly in my room at night. and last night, i was sneezing and stuff. yeah. i should put on some clothes when i sleep. but you know, i'm too addicted to sleeping naked. gotta have to funky naked dreams! |