| 4 may 2001 so the lovefest between me and clare keeps on going. one of the benefits of having this online journal and the community in general is the ability to meet all sorts of neat, and, most importantly, expressive people. writing shows me that a person is an honest, thinking, feeling entity. i think everyone should write once in a while, to reflect and evaluate life in general. a lot of good things come by examining and scrutinizing the little nuances of being alive. it's important that we not take anything for granted as we journey on our short little trip in this cosmos. ----- so i am enamored with this place i looked at today. downtown palo alto, baby. it's fuckin' THREE blocks away from university avenue! *swoon* a little walk aways from miyake, this fabulous (well, not in terms of quality, but in terms of enjoyment) sushi place that's kind of like a party-food capital. people go there on the weekends to enjoy the loud music (which i'm not really fond of) and the drinks. i'm not really big on that, but i do think they have some creative sushi, like the chelsea (as in chelsea clinton of stanford fame) roll. i don't know. location means a great deal to me. the place kinda looks like a dump from the outside, with some run-down carports and a beat-up chevy or something parked there, and the inside is definitely not as nice as the other place i looked at, but something has to be said about being situated in the heart of downtown, and what's more, right next to a park complete with a basketball hoop. i have this curse. where the last thing i see is always my favorite. and for once, i'm petrified that i'll look at some other places tomorrow in mountain view and on the edges of palo alto, and i'll like the more. sometimes the freedom of choice is a haunting thing. in some ways, i'd rather be just limited to this place and the one i looked at yesterday, because not knowing that there may be a fabulous beautiful venue waiting for me tomorrow just makes my free will more painful. do you get what i'm saying? i like having some limits on my freedom. because otherwise, i'll be haunted by having made the wrong choice. i don't want to know i did that. and thus, ignorance can truly be bliss sometimes. ----- i'm interested in the finals. what i mean is this: i don't like baseball or hockey, but i'll gladly take massive interest if the game i'm watching is like the 7th game of the world series, or the overtime period of the stanley cup finals. so what i was doing last night was watch the _survivor_ finale. i don't watch the show, because it conflicts with _friends_, but i found myself mesmerized by the finale because it was a reunion of sorts. oh, and seeing elisabeth made things just that much sweeter. i'm fascinated by the strategy they mention in manipulation of others, which is apparently what tina did really well to win the final prize. i thought it was really weird that colby was so focused on the million bucks, but in the end, he knew he picked the person who he had the hardest chance winning against. i found that to be his tragic downfall, if you indeed want to term his loss as a tragedy. how could he have slipped up at the end? was it really because of friendship? at what cost does friendship from a silly game show equate into losing out on a 7-figure dollar amount? was it worth that much to him? i dunno. i think it was a noble choice, and i do wonder if tina's ultimate strategy was befriending colby in such a way that he couldn't have avoided making his final pick of tina over keith. ah. i'm sounding like a survivor addict. but i'm not. i will, however, consider watching the next series, because it definitely seems interesting. i'm curious about the manipulation aspect of it all. i, for one, could never do that. i don't have enough of a grasp on human dynamics to be a wizard at forging alliances and all that. i'm too happy and honest, i think. i can't be fake with people. so i bet i would be one of those friendly people who everyone likes, or, more realistically, the one who flies under the radar and nobody remembers because i'm such the freakin' wallflower among strangers. but anyways... colby and elisabeth are HOTT. (that extra 't' is for you, clare.) although i liked colby with the rugged bearded look. i felt really sad when deb, the first bootee, started crying because she felt that nobody ever got to know her, and she was so destroyed by the press afterwards. what the hell did the press say about her? anyways, i found it really poignant when she said that she used to be really self-confident and independent, but somehow being on the show and suffering through its aftermatch took that away from her. it took a lot of guts for her to admit that on national television, and it's just wrong for a silly television show to do so much damage to her psyche. anyways. survivor. an interesting concept. work as a team, but be independently calculating and ruthless. what a juxtaposition. i guess that's what makes it fascinating, i guess. oh, and why else would i totally suck at survivor? because i love civilization too much. i need my concrete walls. and my television. and my taco bell. and my internet. 42 days without contact with my loved ones or the modern world... i think i'd wither away. it's definitely be a good diet for me, though. ha ha. we have our cinco de mayo company party coming up soon. first thing i spied... the bottles of tequila in the kitchen. margaritas! i just hope i can down some, be in shape to drive, and not get any bad headaches. i love my tolerance. this was a good week of writing. i hope all my weeks are this fruitful. ciao! |