| 10 mar 2001 there is a wasp in my room.� how it got there is one of the mysteries of the universe; i live on the second floor, and my windows are closed.� and now i can't see it anymore.� fear. last night i had the first dream ever where i still had tourette's syndrome (TS).� i NEVER dream about having TS, which is why when my tics were bad, i always escaped life by sleeping.� it was odd.� i went to see my uncle and aunt to play a piano piece, and my aunt asked me how my tics were.� i started craning my neck, and jerked it around a few times before i replied that things were fine. TS doesn't bother me anymore.� well, i still tic from time to time, but the severity and frequency are nowhere near what they used to be.� i attribute it to two factors, which i cannot distill any further: chiropractic and medication (haldol).� one of those two is helping me.� so needless to say, i'm not quitting either right now. my freshman year, i wrote a journal entry every single day.� i decided that life was way too interesting and exciting for me not to document it.� so i spent like an hour a day just pouring my thoughts into my mac LCII.� unfortunately, it became more like a summary of my day rather than thoughts and insights.� the motion became mechanical.� too bad.� a million characters of stuff, that was.� i'll probably never read it again. stanford plays arizona state in half an hour.� if they win, they win the PAC-10 men's basketball crown outright.� i'll be so proud. i have a big showdown with my social tendencies tonight.� i'm going to a so-called "space-themed" party tonight.� and i know beforehand that i'll know two people there... the girl i'm going with, and the guy the party's for.� that's it.� i have a severe aversion to meeting new people in parties and clubs and bars. my friend says that 1 out of 10 people you meet are worth keeping as friends.� what if you feel like you already have enough friends?� why bother?� well, that's not me, but i'm more worried about having to wade through ten people just to meet one cool person.� that means 90% of the time, you're just bullshitting and making smalltalk for no purpose whatsoever except to get it over with.� isn't that kind of a waste of time? i'm not anti-social.� i love my friends.� i adore spending time them.� it's just this chit-chat mingling tryout-phase that i don't like. shit.� the wasp is back.� so i'm typing this four feet away from a nasty insect.� i'm too squeamish to kill it. in japan, they had this fad called "lovegety."� it was an object that you could set to emit preferences, likes, and dislikes (it's really just picking one activity out of three that you like), and when your lovegety was in close proximity to another similarly-set lovegety, it would beep and tell you someone compatible is around you. i think they should go with that idea.� it would simplify my life a lot more.� you could answer questions like: are you homophobic? do you like tequila? do you enjoy giving oral sex? are you an indian food fanatic? do you believe that outward togetherness is a result of inner chaos? and so on... with this uber-lovegety, you would instantly tell how compatible you were with somebody.� i'm being silly.� questions are just questions.� i have had some amazing relationships with women who were totally different from me.� but i'm just thinking... ok.� time to get some food and watch the basketball game.� go stanford! |