| 27 jun 2001 so! more cool IM chats with online people... yesterday eric pinged me with an IM request, and we chatted for a while before his connection got cut off... yeah, he didn't respond for a while, and i just went off pretending to be michaelangelo from the teenage mutant ninja turtles... craving pizza and getting my ass chewed out by myself for being a "green piece of shit" and stuff... ah. random stuff. we chatted about money, anemones, academic decathlon, toothy smiles. and the neat thing is that we came up with a scenario where it's actually OK with eric for me to kill him! we made a pact! hee. i wonder, though, if there is something legally dangerous about writing this, but hey... i kept a copy of the chat, so i'll be able to explain it to the detective, "hey! see? here! THAT's where he said i could kill him!" eric's an open guy. at least, he's revealed to me a couple of personal tidbits. you might not see it all the time on his site, but he's a thinking, reflective kind of guy. which made me appreciate how cool it is to let people into your life once in a while. but anyways, one of the best compliments i ever got was when jo-ann and i were trying to go to sleep during our first night in portland. we were talking about things that we admired in each other, and i said that i really envied jo-ann for her zest for life, and how excited she is about doing everything. jo-ann countered by saying that i'm really good at opening people up. NO, she wasn't talking about surgery, silly! she was talking about how i'm able to make people think and get them to talk about personal issues. i don't let my head to get big, and i don't think i'm some sort of brilliant counselor or something, but i'm just glad that some people like the way i interact with them. it's very important for me to be a good friend, and to have a good ear for listening. first impressions are important, and i try to make a good one from the get-go. if you meet a person who doesn't seem interested, or seems closed off somehow, then you're much less likely to share anything important and meaningful in a future encounter. i usually start off the process by being open to talk about myself freely, whether it's about my tourette's or my relationships or what not. i think that sets the tone for making future revelations possible. damn. that vacation with jo-ann in portland was really something cool... i was totally mad for her then, and it was just the nicest feeling, exploring a cool city and sharing a hotel room with someone who i was totally in love with. every night, i was just too keen on the fact that jo-ann was sleeping a MERE 5 feet away from me! *swoon* too bad things never happened between us. that second night, in a drunken spinning stupor, i told her i loved her. heh. alcohol has played a significant part in most of my relationships, as far as the first kiss and stuff. but anyways, i'll just leave it at that. the funny thing was that jo-ann knew how i felt about her, but when pretty much instantly agree to a vacation together in portland. i was like, "hm. i don't think she realizes that this may be a touchy situation." it's only after she told her friend about it, and her friend practically FREAKED out, that she e-mailed me and asked me if it was a good idea. heh. i never said jo-ann wasn't clueless about such things. :) i think that's part of her charm. i'm gonna miss jo-ann. she's going back to singapore after this summer for like FOREVER. i mean, after she got together with ricky, we never really hung out anymore. which was fine with me, because she really needed to log some good times with ricky, since they only had the rest of this school year before they would be separated. but i miss those dim sum expeditions or _dawson's creek_ viewing sessions with her. for a very very brief moment in my life, she was my favorite person and possibly my best friend. it's just sad to have to say goodbye to that kind of person. well, today's my last day before i leave for LA for the big taiko conference. yup. that means no updates until sunday night at the earliest! (well, i'll probably write tomorrow before i leave.) i'm not really looking forward to it. there will be like HUNDREDS of taiko people, and i'll know... maybe 5, if that... i hate the idea of getting lost in a big crowd, with no one to talk to. the guy i'm going with, dishi, knows many many more, since he's been to the previous two conferences... so i'll bet he'll just gallavant around like a social butterfly while i wallflower over the whole place. sigh. why am i going again? *ponder* plus, it's in fucking LA. i hate that place. yuck. oh, by the way, as per eric's request, i'm writing this entry first before updating my calendar page's link. that way, you won't see a link for the new entry that goes nowhere. yup. for you eager beavers out there, no more let-downs! see? i'm receptive to requests and criticisms. i got two guestbook entries that basically said, "your guestbook doesn't work." WTF? their entries got put up there, so in what way does it not work? sheesh, man. i deleted them. i'm sorry for any anguish the geocities guestbook is causing, but... what can i do. keep signing, though! i want to know who you are! i was going to complain about feeling tired and stuff, but i realized i was going to whine. so i stopped myself. but yeah. i'm fucking tired all the time. chronic fatigue syndrome, anyone? but i'm feeling better today. why? maybe because i got FOURTEEN hours of sleep last night? hm. if i really need that much sleep, then it's a bad thing. my body must be really messed up or something. poor jay. he called me at 10:30 last night, and i had already been asleep for over two hours! but i _meant_ to stay up... i thought we were going to look at golf clubs and watch _cast away_, but when he wasn't home when i got back, i just plopped down on my bed for a little rest. the next thing i knew, i was asleep, so i just decided to call it a night. not much going on in my life right now. maybe i'm still in that post-wedding post-phase I of 2001 kind of funk. dude, that was like TWO WEEKS ago. get over it, man. |