| 12 jun 2001 so today, i was going to post up a picture of me sitting in my sea of boxes in the new place's living room. but i had this really odd look on my face, and i didn't like. ah... narcissism censors my journal! i need a name for my new place. the old places i lived in were referred to me by the street name... hence "brenton" and "lenox." but this new place... hm. "san antonio?" nah... that sounds dumb. "greenhouse II?" that's the name of the condo complex... but... alas, it doesn't sound too good, either. i'll have to think about it some more. i went through a few of my boxes yesterday. and threw out a lot of stuff. of course, i kept all the letters and photographs and sentimentals. during college, i kept my good stuff (like concert tickets, memorable flyers and notes, etc.) in black folders, so i have four, one for each year i was an undergrad. of course i'm keeping those. and my newspaper articles which i wrote for the stanford _intermission_... they were reviews of cd's that i wrote... it's not easy writing them! and it's totally satisfying to see yourself published. there were a lot of letters from karine, and postcards from kristie and stuff. if there's one thing that i'm greatliy appreciate of, it's that my girlfriends have been very expressive and very affectionate. it was great. both of them were very thoughtful, leaving me notes and a whole slew of written signs that they were thinking of me. *reflective bliss* oh! and i found thick 3-inch binders in this one box. one binder was ALL the e-mail i received freshman year, and the other was all the e-mail i wrote myself that year. i flipped to the one in february 20th, 1993... the first e-mail kristie wrote me after we hooked up. there was some mention of her flirtatious nose. :) i threw out a trash bag and a half of stuff yesterday. so i basically have one box of all sentimental stuff, like the stuff i mentioned before, plus my acceptance letter to stanford, my diploma, etc. and i have two or three boxes of all academic shit now. what do i do with that? all those thousands of dollars spent on EE books... do i keep them? can i get rid of them? i dont know... it really seems like a shame to throw them away, but let's face it... i'm not going to read them ever again, and the only reason i would keep them is to show off how much knowledge i've gleaned over in the past... not that i remember any of it. hm. they are the heaviest boxes, and the ones which will definitely never be opened again. what to do... what to do. GITCHIE GITCHIE YA YA DA DA MOCHA CHOCOLATA YA YA yeah. i saw _moulin rouge_ last night with jay. it was really awesome. a little long, but very brilliantly done. it's like a movie that was made with absolutely NO restraints on creativity... although it's set in 1900 in paris, modern pop songs, techno... all sorts of anachronisms abound, and i just love that... a modern take on a period piece... i love that style... baz luhrman is a genius! emi told me that _moulin rouge_ is what _romeo + juliet_ could have been... and i agree... _romeo_ start out brilliantly... i think the first ten minutes of it were possibly one of the best openings i've ever seen for a movie... but then it kind of got lost. unfortunately, though, near the end, the movie projector broke down, and that kind of ruined the fantasy of the movie. i wish i could hang out with jay more. because this is probably the rare time when he's not busy, because once his surgery stints start, he's going to be really busy. too bad i have to work... he and peter are thinking of playing stanford golf course today. :( it does feel weird to have an actual roommate again. i say this because i didn't hang out with paul or any of the other roommates at lenox. so it felt like living in a hotel; once i got in, i just went straight to my room and watched tv or whatever... there was little or no interaction with the people who stayed there... with jay, we chat, we've gone to a meal together, gone to see a movie, etc. while it's really nice and refreshing to do roommate-type activities again, i think that the nearly two years in lenox have made me really used to being alone, and now i have to get back in that roommate-mode. i'll adjust quickly, i think. it's just a little odd right now. it's hard for me to fall asleep these nights. i think it's because i try to sleep early, but my body is used to entering sleepymode at around 2:30am or something. so i just lie there... usually, i just try to lull myself to sleep by thinking of situations that take a few minutes to develop, and my body just starts to set adrift in that conjectural state... so last night, i thought about how it would be to go on vacation with karen. like taking the flight together to some place, checking into a hotel, etc. i kind of got stuck on imagining how i could make a pass at her and stuff, so it stalled the situation. i had to restart it multiple times, and then somehow, i feel asleep. of course, i've said this before, but you get 5 minutes of retrograde amnesia when you fall asleep, so of course i can't remember the last thing i thought about. i find myself itching for friday night, when the festivities will begin. time goes by slowly when i'm anticipating something... what's worse is that i have a hard time falling asleep when my heart is beating to the excitement ahead. but, one thing i'm not looking forward to is the post-throng depression. after big gatherings, i get in this mopey state when everyone leaves... all that buzz and commotion is now replaced by silence and the little blips of static in my solitary mind. i hate that. so it's true then. i'm an extrovert by karen's definitions... i draw my energy from other people. i mean, i'm happy by myself and all... i can keep myself occupied, most definitely... but i feel like i'm missing a part of myself when i'm not interacting with people. i dunno... is that a bad thing? are we in an age that celebrates self-sufficiency and independence? i wonder... |