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| 21 jul 2001 for adam's coverage (lots of pics!) of: the housewarming party dim sum at koi palace sigh.� lots of stuff happened since my last update.� three social events. i'll start with the housewarming party.� so basically, i felt like shit at work, so i went home at 1pm to nap.� i slept until like 5 or so.� i felt much better, though... my sore throat kind of went away. i got up, and being too fucking lazy to prepare for the party by myself (i'm terrible like that), i popped in _swingers_ and started watching.� at around 6:30, i got a call.� on the other line was a weak-sounding sickly voice of a girl... it was amms, and she basically told me that she was too sick to come.� i was pretty much bummed out of my mind at that point, because i really wanted to party down with her.� i doubt i'll get much of a chance to do that; yeah, there's that drink club thing she always goes to, but i have to drive back and stuff, so i wouldn't be able to drink as much as i would like to.� ho hum.� shit. so jay got back, and we basically set up the chips and pretzels, salsa, etc.� we made a wager on who would be the first people to come.� i said the taiko peeps, and jay said the online peeps (adam, eric, and rita).� he was right.� when the doorbell first rang, it felt like it was halloween, and i was handing out the first candy loot of the night... quite exciting... it stirred my blood to know that my first time hosting a party would soon begin. we watched _the southpark movie_ for a while.� i tried to get rita to start taking some jell-o shots, but she kept saying it was too early.� whatever!� heh.� i soon started mixing some of my vanilla stoli and ginger ale, which was supposed to taste like cream soda.� hm.� not quite, but a drink is a drink. then, sonya and her roommate jamie showed up.� and then it kind of just started all happening... people were arriving, some bearing housewarming gifts.� i kept drinking and taking jell-o shots.� and sadly enough, i can't say that i remember a whole lot from the night.� i do remember being kind of pissed that i wasn't getting drunk, even after like four or five shots... but then, everything kind of just started getting really blurry.� apparently i recited the alphabet backwards and mentioned something about viagra (of course it's not because i'm impotent, silly... but because i got that word playing taboo at lucy's, duh). not much to say.� except that i was really happy because basically all my friends in the bay area were congregated in my place.� this is the first time i've had a party where i knew almost all of the people, so it felt really good.� like everywhere i went,there were faces that i recognized and, more importantly, they were faces that i liked.� it's such a great thing to be surrounded by friends, and this was the first real manifestation of that.� meaning that practically ALL of my social circles were there. i was really concerned beforehand about people not mingling, and i'd see little segregation things going on.� but *ahem*� i got so drunk that i guess i just didn't care.� but yeah, people were mingling ok, so that was all good. i'm just bummed that amms didn't show.� i know a lot of people (the ones who read my journal) wanted to meet her.� heh.� oh, speaking of that and girls i like(d), my coworker will met jo-ann, and he was like, "ah, so YOU'RE jo-ann."� which obviously aluded to the fact that she pops in my journal from time to time as an object of affection from days past.� heh.� i think she was a little embarrasssed. but yeah.� all in all, counting the tequila content in the jell-o shots, i had about nine shots worth of hard alcohol.� i was pretty smashed.� as the party wound down, i allegedly told the remaining people to fuck off, as i was going to go to bed.� NO!� i'm so not an evil angry drunk!� *shiver* oh, and apparently i also puked in my sink.� because the next morning, i found chunks of shit (mainly tomatoes) in my sink.� and because the little water stopper thing doesn't go up very far, i couldn't wash it down with water, so i had to scrape it all out with napkins (ewww) and throw it away. but yeah.� by 2am i was in a world of hurt.� i passed out in the dark in my room, feeling like i was in the spin cycle of a washing machine. ----- the world of hurt continued the next morning, when i got up at 9am for dim sum at koi palace with the online peeps.� i tried drinking water and sprite, but i just wound up puking it all up anyway.� dude.� sprite HURTS.� it came out my nose, and all the carbonation and stomach acid that was mixed with it just burned my nostrils.� damn. i was really fucked up at dim sum.� it's amazing that i was even able to drive all the way to daly city and back.� while everyone was talking and laughing and snapping pictures (we're such photo freaks when we're together), i just sat there.� it was like any movement of my body might set off a storm of regurgitation.� so i just stay still.� i had basically three pieces of food. i don't think i should have gone.� sleep would have been good.� but i'll admit straight up that the main reason i went... of course... was to see amms.� it was good to see her not all sick and coughing and stuff. i feel bad because this is the last time i'll see these new online friends of mine.� i leave for japan next saturday.� and this, being my last outing with them until mid-august at the earliest... and i was in such a terrible antisocial state. i wonder what they think of me.� i think i'm still not quite totally comfortable with them in real life.� i'm a lot more gregarious behind the shield of the internet, which kind of bugs me.� actually, it REALLY bugs me.� but what can i say... i've only known these people for a short while... hell, i just met eric this past thursday!� so i'll give it some time. not much to say about dim sum, except that i was just really messed up.� of course, when i got back around 12:30 or so, i just went straight back to sleep. ----- i woke up at 5:00.� adam was supposed to pick me up at 5:30, so i made myself some soup (at jay's request, because i needed some soft food).� we went to stanford to pick up eric's friend domi, and went to the eric's place in the city for the vienna teng concert. all i want to say about eric's house is: it should fucking be on MTV cribs.� shit. vienna was amazing.� and to behold her voice and her piano playing and her lyrics and her music... and to know that she is also a tech girl... fuck me.� totally admirable and damn sexy. i was really apprehensive about going.� because i knew i would run into karine.� when she and peter walked in, i just waited until she scanned the room.� we made eye contract, and i nodded when our eyes met. (i was sitting in the very back.� my tics were kind of bothering me, so i didn't want to disturb anybody's enjoyment of the concert.� we touretters are considerate like that) after a few songs, vienna announced that there would be an intermission of sorts.� that's when i got really nervous.� because i knew karine and i were going to talk.� or ignore each other.� or whatever. i had a brief conversation with karine's roommate jane, and then karine came up to me and asked me if i wanted to have a smoke with her. it's funny.� it seems that no matter how distant we may be to each other, karine and i will always be able to converse over a cigarette.� it's like that's just a part of each other we'll always have.� which i do find comforting and touching in a way. so one of the first things she said put me on the spot: "so i hear that you write in your journal that you think my eyes are stupid."� !!!� heh.� confrontational, eh?� i get this feeling that karine wants to draw some kind of reaction from me or something.� i feel like she wants to know that i still have some capacity for an emotional response with respect to her.� so i basically told her straight up that she was beautiful before, and i just didn't understand why she needed to get them done. the rest of the conversation was rather mundane.� i always feel like i'm on autopilot or out-of-body when i'm talking to her.� because it's just so surreal.� i was with her for four years, and she was basically a huge part of me during that time, and now... we're so distant.� it's not that i want her back or anything.� but it's like seeing a big part of my old self in someone else.� hard to explain.� i think we leave behind parts of ourselves in our relationships. she did say something that kind of seemed like a low blow.� she said how reading my journal made it seem like i basically thought the relationship with her meant nothing.� (i've already vented how this is totally false, so i'm not going to do it again.) but then she said, "now i know why kristie doesn't want to have anything to do with you."� WHAT THE FUCK?� yes, the truth is that i did manage to alienate both karine and kristie, but there are NO similarities in what happened.� she had no fucking right to even TRY to identify with kristie. hrmph.� i am happy for her and peter.� i really am.� but for some reason (i'm tired and don't want to think), i just want her out of my life.� it's not hate.� totally not.� karine asked me if i was out of my "hating her" phase.� i was NEVER in that phase!� i'm just really apathetic, i guess.� and i just don't value having a friendship with her again.� there's nothing that she offers that i want.� that may sound hurtful, but it's not meant to be hurtful.� so there. ah well.� some useless drama with ghosts of the past.� i'm all about drama, but this episode was pretty dumb.� i wish her the best.� it's just too bad that our paths have to cross again just because eric is a mutual friend. so that's that.� a reminder to self: keep track of how much you drink. one last thing: eric is quite a cool cat. |