| 28 dec 2001 "she has a PENIS!" that quote's for jay. *wink* i find myself writing earlier and earlier in the day during the workweek, which is good because that means i am starting to have more to say, but it also sucks because any thoughts i have after posting will have to wait until the next day, which invariably means i'll forget. jay left for bermuda this morning for his younger brother's wedding. that lucky bastard has had so much fun this year, despite being worked to death as a surgery resident. he's been to vegas, new york, costa rica, and now bermuda. sheesh. i guess i can't complain, since i've been to japan, new york, and LA three times, but still... he just seems to have more fun than me... it's in his personality to enjoy himself to the fullest, so i envy him for that. so last night, i took off work early to spend the night with jay... possibly the last night of 2001 together, despite the fact that he'll get back on the 31st... but anyways, i went home, and we headed off to my fave japanese restaurant gombei. i wanted to wait until later so we didn't have to drive back home before going to the movie (the landmark park theater in menlo is right near gombei), but jay was starving, so i guess we had to eat right then. he was definitely famished, because he tore through his meal (we both ordered the same thing) faster than i did, finishing every scrap, even the carrot pieces in his rice. jay's a master motivator. like my tahoe trip with alan and peter fell through mainly because no one bothered to actuate themselves and plan the thing early enough. but jay found out he's free the 12/13th of january, and he just started calling people up last night, and he rounded up a decent sized posse (well, like 6-7 people) to go up to tahoe for that weekend. when he wants to have fun, he can get people to have fun with him. yet he's not afraid to just go out by himself and have a blast . once again, i admire him for that. after dinner, we went home, and i fell asleep in the living room listening to sportscenter. about an hour later, we left again for the same destination: menlo park. _the royal tenenbaums_. great movie. although jay didn't enjoy it as much (he claims either he's dumb and doesn't get the humor, or it was too late in the night). i kept on looking at him to see if he was laughing, because i found the movie's deadpan humor and random details hilarious. the audience was in a giddy mood, too. dude. i am starting to like gwyneth more and more. i didn't think much of her in earlier movies like _emma_ and _seven_ (just another pretty blonde), but shit... in the last two i've seen her in (_shallow hal_ and this one), i have developed a serious liking to her. perhaps it's because these two characters are kind of sad ones, and it makes them more endearing. and besides, love that her look in this movie... short hair with one simple barette, and the dark mascara... kind of a rich-girl mod look that i can't describe well enough in words. and the PENNY LOAFERS! the black penny loafers which are the only shoes she wears! shit. i want a girl who wears black penny loafers! (without socks, of course) they're sexy. and i can't describe why. but man. i'm not a feet person, but i appreciate a good pair of feet. and a good pair of shoes. i mean, most people notice the face, and body, the outfit, the legs, etc. but i think a good foot/shoe completes the entire look. it is the final statement that is made as a person scans the other from head to toe... often enough, i see silicon valley engineers dress decently... nice shirt, nice pants, but... they were WHITE TENNIS SHOES. ick. dude. after all that effort to put together a nice ensemble outfit, they fuck it up at the very end with bland white reeboks. but yeah. gwyneth. black penny loafers. *drool* i was playing with this bump hidden in my sideburns yesterday (i guess it's time to get a haircut, now that i have sideburns), while i was IM'ing mike, and i decided to squeeze it really hard. you can probably guess what happened. it blew up, and there was blood all over my fingers. lots of blood. damn. what the hell causes this stuff (the bump, i mean). mike talked about "opening pandora's box" today. i wonder... maybe he confessed his feelings to some girl or something... that's the only thing i can imagine happening, given the context. *cheer* but anyways, he was talking about truth, and wanting to find out the truth above all the pain and disappointment it can cause. the whole anti-"ignorance is bliss" thing. to an extent, i agree. given the choice of finding something out that could hurt me, or just passing it up, i would choose the former, because i always want to know what was done or said. but that's assuming that you knew something happened... but what if you never found out about it? then it can't hurt you. and that's where i think ignorance is bliss. i'm talking about true ignorance. like not knowing about something at all, as opposed to knowing something is there but ignoring it. and i was thinking about this last night... jay was saying how he wonders if we get dumber as we get older. and i kind of hope that's true... that the older i get, the more ignorant i become, because i think i'll be happier that way. an excerpt from mike's entry: "it's always nice to have something to reach for. maybe those things will change, maybe they won't. but i like the fact that i have something to hold on to. that i have some hope that i secretly may be pining away for... it makes me feel alive." and that is PRECISELY why i don't feel alive these days. why i'm stuck in a rut, ridiculously bored with life. jay (and jack, a few weeks ago) asked me if my lack of mentioning any crush is simply a fact of me being more careful about what i reveal in my journal... and i said no. it's because there is nothing right now. my bathroom mirror is letterless, save the old "A" and "K" that used to be on there that i haven't bothered to wipe off. jay seemed concerned for me. he asked what's going to change in 2002, because me hanging out at home all the time certainly isn't going to do anything. people sometimes tell me that if i stop looking for somebody, then something will happen. which seems like a huge pile of crap to me. ok. whoops. couldn't finish this entry before lunch. i'm back from eating a big bowl of pho now, and i've completely lost my train of thought. gotta get up early tomorrow to go to SFO. my dad's flying in, and he has a layover before heading off to LA. |