| 5 dec 2001 i feel rather haunted today. i guess i could say that i really didn't want to wake up this morning. it wasn't because i was tired or lazy... it was because i was in the middle of a great dream, where i was happy and content. i dreamt that somehow, kristie and i reached some sort of legal agreement (i vaguely recall a document somewhere), and we became friends again. and we weren't back as a couple or anything... just good friends. and for some reason, i was just really blissful in my dream. like i'd wake up, smile, and go back to sleep and fall right back into the dream again. so i woke up with the rude radio songs of my alarm clock, and i was just really cross for the next few hours. like frowning, scowling, just basically irritated at having to leave my sleeping state to do some mundane errands. i went to see my chiropractor, who gave me a picture he took me the last time i came in... it was patient appreciation week back then, so my picture must have been put up on the wall or something, because there was a thumbtack hole in the upper right corner. but anyways, i was in that bad mood, so i just wondered what the hell i was going to do with a too-bright out-of-focus snap of myself. and then, i went to my usual supercuts and got my monthly haircut. there was a new girl doing my hair this time, this little timid mousy asian woman with glasses. looking in the mirror while she was cutting my hair, that was when i realized that i was almost snarling because my mood was so bad. the woman did a weird job on my hair... she took a long time, and kept going back and trimming, trimming, and my hair got shorter and shorter, way shorter than i told her originally. so i wanted to just pop off and chew her out, but i kept my temper in check and thanked her and drove off. i don't know. it's just not a good day for me, i guess. the hair's kind of butched. the only good thing about that trip today was the fact that i stopped by and got a big fat nice burrito... with garlic. i'm convinced that garlic is the single most effective thing to put in food. it's like the mvp of ingredients or something. the cable's broken. i called up at&t broadband, and they tell me palo alto has an outage. it's been almost two hours (i've kept the tv on, showing a blank gray screen), and it's still not fixed. i'm not too worried about them fixing it, though... _dawson's_ is a repeat tonight. so was _buffy_ and _scrubs_ last night, too. so what's the deal? now that november sweeps is over, are they just showing reruns now? when do they start up again with new episodes? man. i've spent the last hour on level 10 of this brain teaser game (the password to get to level 10 is "svga") that i found on the web. a whole hour, staring at all the ways to fit the mirrors and refractor and stuff... shit. i can't figure it out... i can light all the bulbs up but one, the one in the middle. ARGH. someone help me! if i don't figure it out, i'll be even more agitated than i already am. but anyways, it's a cool game... simple, but effective. last night was the season finale of _real world 10_. i actually found it to be pretty emotional... it's all about FINITE friendships. the reason why i call it finite is that the people live together and interact with each other for a certain amount of time before they all split up... granted, yes, they can be friends afterwards, but the intensity just won't be the same, hence i call it "finite." finite friendship periods are really bittersweet. i've had a few periods of my life like that... one was ac dec (academic decathlon) back in high school, and one was taiko back in college. both were really intense small groups of people who hung out basically all the time, either studying (ac dec) or practicing (taiko). i developed a brother/sisterhood with the people involved, and the sad thing is that it all had to end abruptly one day. i think, though, that the finite friendships can be cleaner, meaning that they can be packaged neatly. because you know exactly how long you have together, so you can make the most out of it knowing that things will end on a certain date, and you'll part ways after that point. things don't get dragged out, left to wilt and wither due to lack of emotional commitment. i think i'm saying that things are kept from ending tragically (i.e. due to neglect) so while things can be intense and sweet and a shitload of fun, the really bitter part of it is that it can't last forever, even though you may want it to be. but anyways, this year's _real world_ wasn't too scandalous or anything. not was it that interesting. of course, the fights were amusing, but in the end, everyone seemed to chill out and just accept and enjoy each other's company. which i think was a good lesson to learn, especially for coral and nicole. the show also reminded me about how we love being voyeurs... having cameras around peeking into people's private lifes... i wouldn't be surprised if someday they'll even have cameras in the bathrooms, so you can see them taking dumps and popping their zits in front of the mirror. we love this stuff. which brings me to this point... if shows like _temptation island_ and _real world_ et. al... are fine with people, then how come some of them bitch about our personal websites? i mean, there basically is no fundamental different between a show that videotapes seven random people's lives, and a website that details a person's thoughts and activities. (i'm basically still pissed at people who think that we journallers and bloggers are vain self-important attention mongers.) i mean, it's just hypocritical. this world loves to peek at others. we're curious people who sometimes want to get a vicarious look at life from someone else's lives. so ppppth. hrmph. my brain is still shaking in anger at not being able to finish that level of the laser game. arrgh. not being able to figure out a puzzle that i know i can do is like having this itch deep down where i can't scratch at it. i think cisco is getting ancy. it's been a week since they've given me the offer, and they keep asking me what's going on. besides the HR guy who calls me every other day, i've gotten calls from the hiring manager, as well as the VP. but i can't make a decision now until i've heard from caspian. hopefully that'll be tomorrow. and hopefully the weather will clear up on friday so i can hike up the stanford foothills and do my thinking there. the last time i went there was april of 2000, when i did the same thing... i climbed up to the dish and mulled over my three offers. but anyways... life isn't that bad lately. a little boring. ok. i'm lying. it's hella boring. so boring that i finally did my laundry today. yup. it's been two months since i did laundry. yuck. |