| 27 aug 2001 "today i stole the sun from the sky... the colour from the heart of a rose" so sad. you hear the news of aaliyah's death? it makes me sad when someone so young dies in something as stupid as a plane accient. lan told me over AIM, and i was just shocked. NOW what are they going to do for the _matrix_ sequels? reshoot? ack. i'm in a complete pho food coma now, complicated by my pcc (post-culinary cigarette). bob was making fun of me because he knows that every time we go to have pho together, i get hella sleepy. but then again, i didn't sleep until 2:30am. it's not jet lag anymore, i don't think, but rather the fact that i take these long naps in the middle of the day. i woke up at 1pm yesterday, rolled over, and called up will. we had a good lunch at miyake (yum... chelsea clinton roll!) and then, i drove us to hillsdale mall to fulfill one of my main goals for the weekend... a trip to abercrombie & fitch! i always hype up my visits to the store, but when i get there, i'm always disappointed because they never have good sales or anything. but i love the way they layer like FIVE items of clothing on a single mannequin. i think i'll stick to my a&f catalogue shopping from now on, though. i blew just over $100 there on four items. not bad, i guess, since their stuff is kinda expensive. i'm so bad though. i have so many t-shirts, but i got another one! i'm a sucker for the white/navy/grey color scheme. i convinced will to buy a sleeveless muscle shirt! ha! i would have NEVER worn something like that, but i find it's comfortable to have my shoulders out sometimes... so the sleeves don't get in the way. i saw _curse of the jade scorpion_ last night with jay. i love woody allen movies because he's got such a knack for writing cool dialogue. this movie seemed more quippy than his older stuff, though. i thought charlize theron was really hot, even though she only had a few scenes. she's tall! next to woody allen, at least. i love his neuroticism. maybe it's because i identify with his paranoia and skittishness. will was talking about being "inspired" by women. not so much inspired artistically, but inspired to live life fully. one of the funny side effects of will's inspiration was... handwashing! after he told me about it, i suddenly got the urge wash my own hands. so i ran into the immaculate miyake bathroom and lathered up and rinsed off. but it reminded me of the last time i got noticeably inspired. i have to tell you that i'm vastly hydrophobic. i mean, showers and baths are no problem, but i hate the beach. i hate getting wet in public places. i hate rafting and the ocean and all that. BUT. last year, when i went to portland with jo-ann, she and dishi wanted to go rafting. i was like, "no! hell no!" but i finally capitulated, and we drove to some rafting place outside of the city. and seeing jo-ann so excited and happy and radiant... it just rubbed off on me. her earnest zeal for what we were doing was just contagious and infectious. so i happily for soaked with all the splashes, and when the guide in the back told one of us to lean out the front of the boat (a trick to get that person totally DRENCHED after a run), i was the first to volunteer. i'd steal quick glances at jo-ann's beaming eyes and just feel like i was a new person again. and THAT was the reason why i loved jo-ann so much. heh. so that's my inspiration anecdote. i'm glad will is inspired. i think we all should be that way. which reminds me. i think that one of the reasons why i'm so fucking lazy these days is because of my medication. haldol. it blocks dopamine. it dulls my brain down. and i've noticed that ever since i started it, i haven't been quite the peppy silliy motivated guy i used to be. so which would you choose? the medication, which makes you rather boring, or no medication, which would cause your life to be ruled by massive painful annoying anxiety-filled tourettic twitching? tough decision, right? heh. i'm IM'ing rita right now, and we're talking about sharing personal information with people. now i'm fine with telling people like you readers about my life, my own stories and even perversions and stuff like that. and one of my favorite things is when people give something back. like when eric volunteers pics from his past. this doesn't happen often, but it TOTALLY rocks my world when people write me letters. *drool* i dig that shit. rita mentioned how most people are probably not as open with their lives as i am. but, i remember my early e-mailing days with kristie and even karine... it was like an outpouring of personal anecdotes and stuff! so maybe when people get older they get more private? or they think that people don't want to listen to them anymore? or they don't want to be vulnerable to judgment? ack. say it isn't so! i love listening to people's stories and thoughts... (which is why i'd totally love it if all my friends had online journals...) come on people! gotta have some give and take here, right? give me the juice! i've noticed that i haven't had any "notable" entries in quite a while. while i think it partially reflects the fact that my life is rather routine and boring, i think it's more to do with the fact that i haven't been as insightful lately. my writing has suffered, i think, ever since i came back from japan. i hope to get it back one of these days. soon. i just haven't been reflecting as much these days. my brain's been lazy. i mull over a lot of stuff at night when i'm trying to sleep in my insomniac state, but nothing seems important or journal-worthy these days. maybe i'm bored with life. maybe i'm bored with this journal. nah. it's probably the former. i can't wait until october, though. it's slowly taking shape... a 5-day vacation with karen! she's supposed to get her ticket on priceline today, and i'll get one to fit her schedule. not only is she my favorite girl, but it's a chance to get some quality in-depth one-on-one time with a GIRL! woo-hoo! not much more i can ask for in terms of the best way i can possibly spend my time. i swear, i don't get enough quality conversation these days. although lately, i'm starting to enjoy my AIM chats with rita. she's another cool cat. read her stuff! i had this big fantasy back in college. (no, not a sexual one, you sick pervs.) but i have this mah-johngg set, and i always wanted to just sit with 3 buddies and play all night long, sipping nothing but raspberry daquiris. alas. never happened. where can i find a mah-johngg group? argh. another less-than-inspired entry. help! i need some drama. stupid fucking mundane life, gr~~~... "and they're thinking of the long road ahead and the strength that it will take just to each the end there in the silence they search for the balance between this fear that they feel and a love that has graced their lives" |