| 7 jun 2002 driving back from lunch, i saw this car with a bunch of bumper stickers plastered all over it. and the license plate cover said, "nice girls get spanked." hm. as i passed the car, i looked over and saw a girl in a nice white buttondown, a black vest, and cool librarian eyeglasses. even though the car was butt nasty, i was sort of turned on. so the mtv movie awards was last night. it was really fun to watch, even though one of my friends was disappointed it wasn't as crazy as previous years. the _spiderman_ and _lord of the rings_ spoofs were pretty good, and there were still some nice sexual references like the doggystyle position that hosts jack black and sarah michelle gellar took during the opening number. the three musical acts (white stripes, eminem and kelly osbourne) were pretty good, although kelly's "papa don't preach" was way overhyped. i know some people label mtv as teenage pop culture crap (i could name some names of self-righteous people, but i'm not in a THAT bitchy of a mood today), but it's probably the best packaged and most well-produced crap out there. and who really cares as long as it's enjoyable. i know being a celebrity is all PR, but at least i get the impression that they're in a more natural and laid back state at this event, as compared to the high-class stuffiness of the oscars. sarah michelle gellar's breasts confuse me. sometimes she seems rather flat, but in the _spiderman_ spoof, she wore that same clear pink top that kirsten dunst had on. and dude, her breasts were pretty awesome. 32C, i think. the nipplage (they were DARK!) was so apparent that i wondered how they got away with not censoring it... i mean, at that point, does it even matter if she's wearing something? and did winona ryder get a boob job? mounds! will smith wore a set of silver dogtags. hm. i had been doing that for years! i do wonder what he had on them, as mine are blank with the exception of a bunch of toothmarks. annoying moment was when brittany murphy rocked out in her seat to eminem's performance. i mean, it's one thing to dance in your seat, but did she really have to act like a bad-ass-wannabe and wave around both hands with middle fingers raised? who is is that gesture intended for? i did appreciate her cleavage, though. i guess i like how mtv events are really informal. sure, it's really just a teenager-driven popularity contest (which explains how _legally blonde_ and _fast and the furious_ won some awards, but somebody PLEASE tell me how _monster's ball_ got in there), but the great thing is that people don't try too hard. you see stars in t-shirts, tank-tops, jeans, converse chuck taylors... it's refreshing from the black tie stuff. here's an article about steroid use in professoinal wrestling and how it is relevant to the ongoing debate among baseball players. after the french open is over, venus and serena williams will be ranked #1 and #2 in the world. it is amazing that their dad predicted this years ago. people are saying how this is a big thing because tennis is largely considered a "white" sport. i never really heard about race issues in tennis, though... did people complain about michael chang or malavai washington? i saw my psych today. i am rather puzzled at how well i'm doing when i'm not on any medication. it bothers me that my body just does what it wants to with no traceable reason, because that means it can go nuts again at any moment's notice. in some ways, i sort of wish i had to be dependent on medication because at least then i would be able to feel like i was in control of the situation. placebo's amaze me. you read all these stories about how people recover from all sorts of illnesses just by taking a sugar pill. it makes me think about how healthy we'd be if we could just trick ourselves. it's also disturbing because it somehow makes health problems seem cheap, i.e. you can conquer them simply with positive thoughts? you mean we had everything we need to fix our problems all along? in _kissing jessica stein_, there is a brief conversation about being sexy/ugly. and how the character of helen was attracted to that quality. sexy/ugly is pretty cool... because that means that even though you look a little funky, you're still able to get the hot girls. unconventional yet irresistible. there's something totally cool about that... it's like you're with the girl, and people look at you and say, "how the fuck did he get HER?" and then they realize you must have some hidden nonblatant subtle magnetism that regular obvious pretty boys could never have. my weight fluctuations keep on going nuts. so a few months ago, i dropped all the way from 180 down to 162, and then hovered at 162-168. last week, i broke past 170, and two days ago, i was up to 175 again. and the thing is, i weigh myself at the same time every day (naked, too, right before i go to sleep). but anyways, i have been feeling rather fat lately. or rather, relatively larger. and to think that people once said that i had a body of a female supermodel... i think people need to some up with some, um, interjections that don't sound lame. you know, for those people who don't want to blaspheme or curse. i've seen way too many "gosh darn's" and today i saw an "oh my heck!" that made me writhe in my seat uncontrollably. i think what gets me is that those utterances are just stupid modifications of previously blasphemous phrases (god/damn/hell); they represent a conscious intent to curse, but stop short in an awkward fashion. unfortunately, i choose not to offer any alternatives; that is up to others, as i would feel totally out of place trying to come up with exclamations that are tame and clean. so last night, i got an e-mail from jack saying that pet shop boys are going to be in concert this weekend. i pretty much freaked out. there are only two remaining groups/artists that i desperately want to see in concert, and psb is one of them. (the other is future sound of london.) so i researched tickets and stuff, but the thing that held me back was that i had no one to go with. and everybody was asleep already... ARGH so i went to sleep all agitated. while i was lying there, i felt this rumbling vibration that i mistook for an earthquake. but then it lasted much longer than 5-10 seconds, i realized that it was me who was shaking. palpitations galore. it's weird. sometimes i think it's cool that i can still get ridiculously excited over stuff, but i wonder if it's an immature reaction. i'm not a kid any more, right? but i still react like one. when i was younger, i always vowed never to lose my crazy tendencies... but now i guess i question that promise. but anyways... i have tickets for sunday night. $50 a pop. better be good. i love the warfield (many memories of moshing there), but i have only been there for loud, grating, violent concerts. not sure how a tame set will come across. but at least it will be intimate. it's just a shame that the current album is sort of lame, with the one shining exception of "home and dry." so i'm having a weird time trying to balance my expectations between thinking it'll suck because they'll be doing mostly songs from _release_, and the fact that i grew loving these two guys. |