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| 15 may 2002 happy birthday alan! so last night at the alley, people kept asking me when i was going to buy some bowling shoes. i know i should get a cheap pair because it costs me $3 a pop every week, but... the thing is, bowling shoes are really ass-fugly. at least most of them are. i have this rule that my shoes (and jackets, for that matter) have to be *fabulous*. as with my current camera issue, i try to be practical most of the time, but i am also heavily swayed by the aesthetics of the stuff i buy. i promised the guys that i would do some websurfing after getting back home, and after midnight, i spend the next hour and a half researching bowling shoes. yup. by and large the shoes are pretty butt, but there were also some really expensive fashion mock-shoes, by people like doc martens ($150) and hugo boss ($215). funny how some designers think bowling shoes are fashionable, yet most bowlers have no fashion sense. and lo and behold, i found the pair that you see above... they're made by linds. prices on the web run around $100 to $150, and most places i checked are sold out of my size. on top of that, the shoes come in left and right-handed versions, and few places sell the left-handed shoes. and further, if i'm going to spend that much on shoes, i had better make sure they fit me, so... blah. but i want them. do you see the little circular dot things on the sole? they're like little pop-out discs that can vary the friction for more or less sliding! i was actually pretty obssessed with these shoes last night, and after discovering them and not being able to find a place that has them in stock, i got pretty mad. i was like, "damn mike and the others for making me do this!" and then i realized that it's my craze for pretty things that got me in this mess... ...then i thought, "hm. maybe i *am* high maintenance. oh fuck." but anyways, i'm going to call around and see if any bowling store in this area has the shoes. but i'm thinking, if i spent $100 on these shoes, then i'll have to bowl THIRTY more times just to break even! hm. but the whole salvation in this matter is that i'll have some pretty fucking sweet shoes, no? ----- i am trying to understand why i am getting annoyed at other people so easily lately. i think i'm very tolerant of different people, but the common denominator in all the irksome folk is that they're different from me. so then, i'm just wondering if i am really elitist and stuffy. god, i hope not. woah. i just had some burger king french friends and took a swig of coke. then i burped. it tasted like chocolate! so back in the day, i used to like getting involved in other people's relationships. one memory that comes to mind is freshman year, when a friend of mine and his girlfriend were having problems. the girl came in to talk to a few of us, and for whatever reason, i basically set up a SUMMIT of like 8 people to discuss the matters. thinking back, what i did really annoys me. i really have no right to stick my nose into other's business. i mean, i can understand that i have good intentions, but relationship problems are really for the two involved to deal with. and if they are too afraid or proud or whatever to talk about it to each other, then that's sad, yes, but it's too fucking bad, you know? like any other skill, it needs to be learned, and if you keep avoiding the issue, then you just haven't grown up yet, imho. but back to the whole advice thing. i really don't like giving advice. there's a grey line there between giving advice and giving a viewpoint. i think advice has more imperative tones, like "you should do this, you should do that." viewpoints are simply your own opinions and experiences... and the other person can just take whatever he wants from it. *shrug* i don't like the idea of having a hand in how other people's lives play out. i forget who i was telling this to but i have a feeling that having an online journal/blog lets people accelerate their familiarity with you. this is, assuming, of course, that your online persona is similar to what you're like in real life. but people who read you daily get a constant semi-intimate exposure to what you think about, how you think, etc. and the pace of that exposure is faster than what real life can sometimes bring. hm. i'm rambling. basically my whole point is that i seem to make faster judgments on online people than others. by looking at bloggers' diction, subjects, thoughts, i find that i come much faster to decisions about whether or not i like them. and the reason why i noticed is because i find myself getting annoyed with some, which struck me since i don't usually get annoyed with people that easily. when i graduated, i think there were only three people that i couldn't stand. (no, i will not reveal them.) i used to say that my version of hell was eternal solitude in an empty room. but then, i thought about it some more, and i joked that maybe a worse hell would be being in that room stuck with those three people forever. ----- in wonder about mike tyson. i was watching some interviews of him, and i can't tell if he's really crazy or just putting on a show. like, he says he wants to literally kill lennox lewis, he wants lewis's "brain to meet [his] fist," he wants to kick babies' heads. shit like that. seems rather unstable, no? and what's his obssession with biting people? tyson is one guy i would never want to meet in person. 8th and 9th orders to amazon went out yesterday. one of them is a _kissing jessica stein_ movie poster for my cube. i really need to stop announcing to people that i have gas. after bowling last night, the 7 of us were loitering in the parking lot, talking about geoff's height. then, i announced, "man, i have lots of gas." and then there was silence. and then, mike drawled out, "okayyyy... on that note." and we dispersed. oh! shit, i have been meaning to mention this for MONTHS now. but when i try to sleep, i can toss and turn for a while, and when i finally calm down, i think of a specific image... have you seen _shawshank redemption_? you know that scene near the end where red (morgan freeman) finds that box in a field in texas? there's this stone wall and a big oak tree. and it just seems sooooo peaceful. THAT place is what i think about just before i fall asleep, and every night, when i get to that vision, i think, "i should write this down in my journal." but i never do. and i'm betting that the reason why it's taken me so long to write about it is because of retrograde amnesia! like, when you fall asleep, you forget the previous few minutes. that's why when you fall asleep while reading, you keep having to reread the passage. neat! speaking of sleeping, i had some bad deams last night. i dreamt that my high school banished me to a "special" class because of my tourette's. they said that my scores were fine, but my freak nature would cause the school to lose some sort of profits, so they had to kick me out. it was a sad sad dream. i remember being dejected, but at the same time i understood that i had to sacrifice myself for the good of the school. it was not a good feeling. _buffy_ was intense last night. willow is going to fuck things up. when she transformed into her dark hair, i thought she was kind of hot, but then i started missing her sassy red hair. and that whole black pupil thing is just plain freaky. a couple weeks ago, alex wrote: I hate one-sided wittiness in movie romances. It seems frequently like one of the romantic interests is just a good-looking sponge for the other's witty remarks. How could you love a sponge? she's so cool. but i agree. i don't want a sycophantic girl. it's so boring. i need someone who isn't afraid to give me shit (hopefully only when i deserve it, though) and most importantly, someone who puts something on the table herself. nice! i just made reservations for dinner for the second time in my life. |