| 7 may 2002 they're repaving the parking lot outside, so a lot of the spaces are closed off. this resulted in me parking ass far away from the office, and i had to walk through the construction zone. they were spraying this black sticky stuff (is that tar?), and it smelled pretty stanky. and then, i started liking it. i remember thinking, "ahh... this smells like modern PROGRESS." gluttony. i just had jack in the box's chili cheese curly fries. they're pretty decadent. and i might suffer the ineluctable fate of yacking later on. must.. keep... the food down... speaking of gluttony, i went to safeway last night. i needed a dr. pepper run. they didn't have any (they were on sale, apparently), and i walked out of the supermarket with five items: a carton of cigarettes, watermelon bubblegum, full-fat fig newtons, shrimp chips, and a sharpie marker. random, huh? i went home, and i just went crazy on the snacks. i ate the entire bag of shrimp chips while watching _ally_. i started off eating them one by one, but soon after i got impatient and started pouring them down my throat. 540 calories. the fig newtons came in two separate sealed packs of 15. i ate one pack. WHAM-O. 825 calories. needless to say, i puked last night. figs come up quite black and spidery. my "official" excuse for eating all of that stuff was so i wouldn't attract ants. that's why i had to finish each package. off the record, i just can't control myself sometimes. i rarely ever snack (the only thing in the fridge that's mine is dr. pepper), so when i do, i pretty much go hog wild. so yesterday, when i had to type that entry (longest ever!) three times, i noticed while copying the text that i had made a lot of typos. why do we make typing mistakes? i mean, our brain is firing off these signals to our brain, right? we hit this key, and then we hit that key. we know how to spell. so why do we mess up? it really bothers me. you'd *think* that something as simple as pushing a sequence of keys in the right order wouldn't be susceptible to so many errors. someone please explain that to me. are our motor skills *that* shaky? my balls hurt. specifically, the left ball. damn. i don't know why, because it's not like i suddenly decided to wear tight nuthugger pants or anything. i still wear the same boxers and baggy jeans, but for whatever reason, my left testicle gets squashed pretty often. it's not a good feeling. sometimes i have to stand up suddenly and shake hips around to loosen the fabric congestion in my crotch. and i wonder why it's only my left ball. and one of the only explanations i have is maybe that side of my scrotum got stretched out? *shrug* i'm getting this weird condition on my hands where the skin on my fingertips is peeling off. after i shower, it's like i have these little blisters on my fingers. so, here's my question to you: do you think you could get a good solid fingerprint from someone if they had this condition? i tested this out on the pink virgin foil-skinned cardboard cd slipcase of my new pet shop boys' release, _release_. (ahhh.. clever!) i took my thumb and rolled it nice and hard on the surface, leaving a nice oily fingerprint. and guess what? it's perfect! so despite common sense saying that the blisters and stray slivers of skin would cause breaks and disjoint areas in the fingerprint, it's not so! my sixth order to amazon in a month went out yesterday. i must stop NOW. yesterday i decided that when i wear baseball caps, there are only certain letters that i would want to emblazon on the hat. they are: A, D, H, K, M, O, S, T, X, Z. i'd wear C, but that makes me think of "cal," which is something i just couldn't represent. :) but anyways, those ten letters are the ones i find most attractive. is that weird? also, i realized that with the exception of K, the letters that i like all have one of the three axes of symmetry. i think that has a lot to do with why i chose them. while i was driving ting back from the mall, i tried to explain to her how i consider myself very label-conscious, but i don't hate materialism. i know, it sounds like a huge paradox. the way i put it was this: being materialistic is a superset of being label-conscious. i mean, i am very aware of who makes the stuff i buy, because i know that certain designers (abercrombie) or manufacturers (sony) tend to make stuff that i like. and they're wares are of satisfactory quality. however, being materialistic in my view takes that notion an extreme, to the point where a person will only buy the name brands that flex the most economic and social status. does that makes sense? hm? i like my handwriting. i used to have a really ugly cursive (i still do). but then i met taylor, the eventual high school salutatorian. he was a really cool and popular guy who miraculously wore the same jeans and loafers every day. (ok, maybe he had multiple pairs of the same jeans) i mean, how many inner circle kids can get away with that? anyways, he had this beautiful all-capital lettering, and one day, i just decided to copy him. and that's the way i've been writing ever since for most situations. i mean, i use cursive when i write checks and sign credit card receipts (harder to forge). and i also developed an all lower-case script for certain artistic occasions, too. my trademark is how i write lower-case 'a' and 'g.' one day, i was at the stanford coffee house, and one of k1's pieces of art was hanging on the wall. and damn! she copied my 'a'! i got all huffy, and then i realized i was a fucking hypocrite because i had copied taylor's handwriting. i was reading on autism in _time_ last night. it's fascinating stuff. i think i have a fascination in neurological disorders because i have one myself. and i'm starting to think that if i could do it all over again, i'd study neurosciences and go into research. the brain is a fucking work of art. i was reading about how certain parts of the brain handle certain tasks, and scientists have even started figuring out what specific types of brain cells do. the brain is possibly the most well-architected system in the universe. i wonder if they'll ever figure the stuff out. how the brain works, how genes translate to disorders... i want to have hope, but the pessimist in me says it's simply too much information for us to process. i hope i'm wrong. i got inspired yesterday to make a cd. i mean, it was like midnight, but i blazed through my iMac music collection and whittle down the 40 selections or so to 74 minutes of choice cuts. i'm listening to it now. it's really good shit. sunday morning bliss. |