| 23 apr 2002 it's amazing how we can look at a set of coordinates and know instinctively where to move the mouse when we're aiming for a certain spot on the page. the secondhand nature of navigating euclidean space is cool. sorry, i just wanted to use the word "euclidean" today. boy i feel good and gross at the same time. i had a good basketball outing today. but my jeans are now pasting themselves to my body, my armpits are cold from the cooling sweat, and my back is all sticky from being rammed up against my t-shirt on the drive home. but yeah, i played well at the beginning. the first game, i scored four of the five points. a running hook, a ball-fake lay-up drive, and two 17-footer jumpshots THAT TOUCHED NOTHING BUT THE BOTTOM OF THE NET. pardon me, i have been watching too much _sportscenter_. but, i gotta work on my stamina. it was kind of hot out there today, and the more tired i got, the worse and worse i played. i pretty much stopped playing defense at the end. there was a SCARY-ASS moment, though. peter threw me a pass, and i wasn't expecting it, and the next thing i knew, the ball smacked me right in the CROTCH. i doubled over in pain, yelled out for a sub, and staggered to the sidelines. holy shit, my left testicle was throbbing in pain, and that's a part of my body that should NEVER be fucked with. arrgh. it was such a dreadful feeling that i was actually laughing. peter was covering his face, probably laughing his ass off. so let's talk about bodily functions for a moment. friday night, i was sitting on the toilet taking a leak, and after i ejected the liquid, my face curled up at some weird smell. i took a few more whiffs, and i realized my pee was really stinky. ah. i remembered! jay and margaret had cooked some monstrous stalks of asparagus, and each of us ate three large pieces. what is it about asparagus that makes urine so pungent? usually i notice the stench when i'm at a urinal, because there's no water to soak up the smell. so i was pretty surprised this time around, because i rarely ever notice it on when i'm the pot. and last night, i was letting out some serious gas. not silent, but still hella deadly. i was kind of concerned because margaret was sitting on the futon with me watching tv, and although i usually don't have problems farting around my friends, i didn't want to make an ass out of myself in front of margaret. again, i thought about what i ate that day, and i realized it must have been the indian food. later, we were watching _ally mcbeal_, and there was this really titillating moment when lara flynn boyle was talking about how heather locklear's character knew exactly how to please a woman. i could feel my body stirring, and i was trying really hard to fight it. it's because margaret was again sitting near me, and i was wearing these loose basketball shorts, which would have done nothing to prevent a nice pup tent from appearing in my crotch. luckily, my mental efforts to suppress the excitement worked, and i refrained from a tumescent moment. it's weird, though. i honestly don't think i'm that interested in lesbian situations. but i guess sometimes they still get to me. so _ally_ has been hammered in the ratings war by abc's _the bachelor_. so i flipped over to it during the end of _ally_ when it was clear that cage/lolita were going to lose the bigamy case, and nelle/beefcake were going to settle their case. so the bachelor, alex, was down to three women, and he had to boot one off in the silly "rose ceremony." in the end, he chose the two blondes, and he sent away the one girl (shannon) who i thought was the most attractive. i did some research today, and apparently shannon had been warding off alex's physical advances. and i guess alex was just turned off that he couldn't get any action. what a slimeball. but at the same time, if he's going to MARRY this girl, i can see why he feels like he needs to at least do *something* intimate with this girl before making his decision. oh well. i think the finale should be interesting. one girl, amanda, is described by alex as good "on paper" and the person he "should" be with, but he obviously doesn't seem to be that into her. and he looks like he has more physical chemistry with trista, the more attractive girl (although she's 5'2", and amanda is 5'10"!), but she claims to only be "in like" with him and not "in love." she even allegedly expressed that she doesn't know if she would accept his proposal if he chose her in the end. so, what i'm hoping is that he'll pick trista, and she'll turn him down. so this entire series would have been for naught. that would be an awesome sight. weeks and weeks of drama and heartbreak, and the guy goes home to masturbate by himself. yeah, i'm mean. they're accepting applications for the next installment of the show. i wonder if i should apply. this show is probably the only chance at living out my fantasy of having a harem. whenever i see a camel's face, i see a penis. you know, from those joe camel cigarette ads. it's a really odd feeling to look at something and immediate be dereferenced to a priapic object. (sorry. i had to use "priapic" today. i had to look it up last night while finishing up my _time_ magazine.) i think it's cool that i can read a popular magazine like _time_ and still learn a quite a few words. the only issue here is whether or not i have the discipline to look up the words when i come across them. god bless the online dictionary. oh, and the magazine also described pamela anderson (who i swear has reinserted her breast implants) as "remarkably cantilevered." now that's an erudite way of saying "has big tits" if i've ever heard one. ok. i'm getting high on vocabulary now. i must stop. oh, one last thing about words. when i code a sequencing state machine, i always call the one-hot registers "happy_reg[N:0]." i think it's cute to think of the hardware as being "happy" when it's doing something. also, i had to hand-code some gate-level code back at teralogic, and i did this bootstrap scan-mode register design. we had some hand-instantiated buffers in it, and i named them "katie_holmes" and "joey_potter," and i think the last one might have been called "winona_ryder" or something like that. ah, the things geeks do so express their sexuality. marvelous. let's hope that with all the outlandish character names in the _star wars_ universe, we won't see a senator in the upcoming movie called "biggus dickus." this was probably the most fun i've had writing in a long time. |