| 19 apr 2002 i'm very giddy over the fact that i can type the word "bastard" with one hand. neat-o! when i got up this morning, i had the conscious thought of putting on an abercrombie shirt. i don't really know what statement i'm trying to make. maybe i just felt like being a hypocrite. very strange. or maybe it was simply because it was the first shirt on top of the pile of clothes in my room. i mean, i love my abercrombie stuff. and yes, they kind of fucked up, but still... good clothes and good clothes, i guess. dude. i finally met someone else who went to college at the age of 16. ting! she must be a nerd or something. :) we were both lamenting how we couldn't drive in high school until senior year and stuff. finally! someone who can identify with me. so i am currently COMPLETELY enamoured (i love british spelling sometimes) with the song "sedona" by the band music for pleasure. it's an instrumental, but it really beautifully relaxing. sedona is apparently a town in arizona (i just looked it up), but i think it sounds like a name for a really cool girl. so i'm IM'ing benboy and he asked me what online journalists i've fancied. to my surprise, i came up with a decent list. i mean, most of these were really brief and tame crushes, but still... i think i'm realizing that i do try to search out attractive people on the net. or rather, i am usually interested in people's journals if i find them decently attractive. i crush really easily. it's great fun. so now ben and i are on the topic of posting pictures of ex's. i have always wondered if i should have done that. i mean, part of me was just drive by a compulsion to reveal private details of my life, but now i don't think it was such a good idea. i really have to control myself. i should just be glad i haven't been crazy enough to post up some of the naked pics i have, and believe me, there have been times where i felt the urge. hm. writing today isn't going that well. but i am really happy that all the other entries this week just kind of flew out. some people have mentioned that my writing now seems sunnier than the entires last month. and i can definitely tell there's been a change. someday i'm going to go back and reread my journal and plot out my mood. maybe i'll find a pattern or something. but yeah, you can definitely tell my psychological state by how i write. but the good news this week is that i've done some good coding. yesterday, for the first time in well over a year, i actually got to work without my effort. i simply clicked over to my work desktop, and started hammering away at my emacs window. usually it takes a lot of self-focusing and coaxing for me to finally get start. i sincerely hope that i am starting back on the road to being productive. the bad news is that jay is definitely moving out. the good news is that he's moving to the condo complex right next to mine. i'll be interested to see how much we visit each other. i have a feeling that he and his gf are going to want their privacy... like maybe someday i'll pop in, and they'll have to scramble to put on some clothes because they were just lounging around their place naked. i mean, if my SO and i had a place together, i'd try to make it a rule that we had to be naked all the time. it just seems right to me. so maybe i'd install two hooks on the living room wall by the front door, and we'd just hang bathrobes there just in case we had to answer the door. sounds like a plan! i was watching the beginning of this movie _very bad things_ last night. it was on comedy central, but from what i saw, it didn't seem very funny. actually, it was hella dark. maybe it gets funnier later. but anyways, this dude is at his bachelor party, and he's having sex with a prostitute. it looked like the porn star kobe tai! hm. let me check on imdb... yep, it's her. i am feeling a bit ambivalent about _maxim_ magazine. yesterday i went through the whole thing in about an hour and a half. while some of the stuff is interesting, most of it is just really useless stuff. i mean, after i finished reading the whole thing, i checked e-mail, and within 10 minutes, i couldn't remember a single fact from the magazine. oh, except that kelly hu is pretty fucking hot. so i'm still searching for a good 2nd magazine for me to subscribe to. i mean, i guess i feel that if i am going to invest time in reading something, i should learn a thing or two. but the whole POINT of the 2nd mag is that i want something fun. so the question is: is there a publication that is both fun *and* informative? *ponder* right now, i am starting to lean more towards porn again. man. the debate continues. no plans for the weekend. i was supposed to do some trivia contest for an asian youth charity in oakland, but that fell through. last weekend was really awesome. we'll see how this one goes. the WBNA draft is over. national champion uconn had its four graduating seniors go in the first round, with sue bird going #1 and another player going #2. FOUR girls in the first round. no fucking wonder they went undefeated this year. that's hella buff. hm. i feel like signing off this week with a good story. shit. do i have one? i've got a good masturbation story (it's actually been an ongoing saga), but as open as i am with things, i'm not quite ready to talk about that just yet. yes, that was meant to be a tease. i am really excited about _star wars_. oh, here's one fact i learned from _maxim_. samuel l. jackson had one request to george lucas: he wanted a purple lightsaber. at first george refused, but in the end he capitulated. what the fuck, man. purple? ick. i would have asked for a YELLOW lightsaber. duh. someday, i might have the balls, and you just might see me here. i'm only half-kidding. i mean, it's not like you have any idea who the person is, right? |