| 10 apr 2002 an online acquaintance of mine just told me, "don't take the internet too seriously." i guess i should start doing that. i mean, i'm a really trusting and gullible person, so whenever i read something, i think it's absolutely true. i really should know better, though, because even when i was in high school, they would do newspaper articles on my ac dec team and get a decent number of facts wrong. but anyways, yeah... so the story is that carol e-mailed me the other day, and she was like, "uh, i found an old journal of yours, and it's really disturbing!" and i was like, "hm. i have never kept another online journal before." so she sent me the URL and i took a look. (beware of popups) so yeah. funky shit! i mean, i don't give a shit about people who e-mail me and say "you're lame" or whatever, but when stuff like those fake entries insinuate that i want to kill my officemates or that i have sexual fantasies about small boys... that is a pretty big fucking nuisance. but anyways... i have two thoughts on this: 1. the extent to which some people are bored and waste their time harassing people is something that ASTOUNDS me. i mean, this guy reads my journal, signed up for a free hosting site, wrote a few webpages, secured a fake e-mail, AND registered the journal at rice bowl journals! i mean... dude! how bored can you be? i thought *i* was bored with life, but this guy takes it to a whole OTHER level! as a corollary thought, if fucking around on the web keeps this guy off the streets, and keeps him away from whores and dealing with parents that beat him, then i guess it's a small price to pay for not having yet another convict in our society. 2. don't take the internet too seriously. yup. i mean, with free unrestricted access, we're free to post up anything and everything. hell, i could start a blog in the persona of a bisexual eskimo and people would believe me. and on a similar thought, it's easy to forge someone else's identity. so if you see something from me that's offensive (besides my talk of porn and nose scabs and what not, heh), ask me first if it was me. because it might not be. lame lame lame. but then again, my friends and i made a few prank calls when we were teenagers. i think that human nature definitely has a mischevious side to it, so... whatever. i just hope the dude gets a life someday soon. but anyways, mike went crazy last night and started bombarding me with questions about kissing. one of his questions was something about whether it's the guy's responsiblity to make the first move (first kiss.) yeah, i guess stereotypically girls expect the guy to make the first move, and stereotypically guys think it's really hot when a girl makes it instead. but it reminded me of something with k1 and i... basically, she kissed me first (although it wasn't on the lips) so in her mind she was the one who was "responsible" for initiating the entire relationship. i think it had a lot of weight on her conscience. because when we broke up, i think she felt like she was the one who started the whole affair, and somehow the failure was henceforth attributed to her. i don't really understand the logic. but anyways, in a letter she wrote me from china the summer after we broke up, she signed off with: "from a secret admirer who should have never kissed you" and i just fucking BLEW UP. i mean, it was like she *regretted* the entire relationship. it was like she thought it was a mistake that she should have never committed. and that really pissed me off. because aside from the reality that we didn't make it as a couple, i still consider the dardy/k1 era to be possibly *the* best part of my life so far, and it made me so upset to think that she thought it was just a mistake. how demeaning! *RAAR* but anyways, back to my point, so the fact that she kissed me first made her believe that the burden of the relationship fell on her. do other people think like that? i wonder... after reading her letter, i wrote this really nasty e-mail to her. she didn't read it until school started again junior year, and apparently she got to it right before we were supposed to meet for dinner. so she never showed up because she was like crying or something. yup. i used to write really dark bitter e-mails. and i really wish i controlled myself more. ugh. i was really happy to see ben at the bowling alley last night. notice that i didn't link him. it's because his domain registration expired, and now he can't get it back because some asshole in taiwan reserved it! i mean, what the fuck? what kind of bastard would wait for an established domain name to expire and pounce on it? that's just fucking rude. there was this girl in the next lane who i kept on staring at. from the monitor, i gathered that her name was "kelli." yup. with an 'i'. but anyways, if i had to describe her in one word, it would be "athletic." and not "athletic" as in ogre-huge, cory-everson-hulking type, but "athletic" in the sexiest connotation possible. she wore this track jacket at first, but later she took it off to reveal a plain grey field hockey t-shirt. she had a sweet bowling form, and she launched the ball confidently and accurately. i dunno. she's not exactly a tomboy, but athletic girls catch my attention. i dig the fact that they can hold their own in various sports activities. and the last thing was that she had hella perky breasts. i mean, perkiness to me is defined by the contrast between the valley and the peaks. women can have big chests, but they might not be perky if there is no contrast (i.e. the two boobs are just large masses that squish together). perkiness to me implies nice separation and a moderate amplitude. (from my experience, 32B is usually a nice perky size) and damn, she was perky. oops. i seem to have drooled on myself. i forgot to take my effexor medication this morning. i really hope i don't get hit with any nasty withdrawal effects. i was reading on the web that some people get all fucked up if they miss their dosage by a few hours. crazy. geoff! TWO THUMBS UP! |