| 1 mar 2002 "nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power." i was freaking out last night. stanford _had_ to win against arizona, or their NCAA tournament bid would have been in jeopardy. and given the shakiness and inconsistency of the team, the outcome of the game wasn't solidified until the final seconds ticked off. but anyways, i was reminded last night of how much i love watching stanford basketball with people who care. jay and margaret were sitting in the living room, and while margaret surfed the web, jay and i watched curtis borchardt fight ferociously for a rebound and slam it in for a crucial basket. we both let out this yelp at the same time, loud enough to startle margaret. granted if stanford loses, no amount of people around can soften the blow, but when we win a close game, it's so much more satisfying to be able to celebrate the victory with some stanford fanatics. _friends_ was really unsatisfying last night. i expected more complications to arise from joey's confession to rachel. i mean, the conflict between joey and ross seemed more interesting than the final scene at the restaurant with rachel. i mean, where's the drama? so joey tells her how he feels, and she simply says she doesn't like him back that way, and she doesn't want to lose him as a friend, and that's it? they hug, and that's IT? three fucking weeks of waiting through the winter olympics, and that's all it get. sheesh. luckily the basketball game was on at the same time, so i didn't have time to fume. i think the more interesting subplot on _friends_ was the whole soulmate thing. basically, phoebe was dating a guy who she thought was monica's soulmate. which is a complication, since monica and chandler were already married. it got me thinking... i think it's a good thing i finally gave up the idea of soulmates after my trip to new york. i think it relieves a lot of pressure to finding that perfect person. and what's more, it negates the possible yucky drama of being with someone and meeting someone who might be better. now, i can just be content with what i have, and not have to be on some mythical quest thing. nice. so amabelle's blog touched on the topic of racial prejudices and stereotypes. and some people said that it's just a fact of life, that everyone has them. and i believe that. i took some psych class years ago, and the theory was that there's just so much information for our brain to process about people that we create shortcuts by grouping similar people together, thus creating generalizations and stereotypes. so maybe it's just how we operate. but, just because something is true doesn't mean it's a good thing. inherently, prejudices based on race are just really unfair, for the obvious reason that no one person can be defined by the average traits of the group. and while there may be some shady line between offensive and non-offensive stereotypes, i think it may be too hard to allow some and not others to exist... so i'd be for eliminating them altogether. i doubt it's possible, but still... i guess i'm just uncomfortable with resigning ourselves to bad "habits" just because we say that's the way it is. if we did that all the time, there'd be no progress in this world. i've done a decent amount of coding this week. a few thousand lines here and there... written up in intense spurts in my trust emacs window. it's been over a year since i've worked like this, and i think my body isn't quite used to it. i started getting headaches around 6-7pm on particularly heavy coding days, and that's a sign that my brain is out of shape. thank goodness for advil. but anyways, it feels good to make contributions. i just reminded myself that i shouldn't talk so much about work, so i'll stop here. shit. for the third night in a row, i have a dream about a girl i like/liked. (for some strange reason, i just can't say "woman." it sounds weird.) this time is was k1. it's been too long after my dream, so i don't remember the details, except that there was that kind of kissing where you tug on the other person's lower lip. ----- there's this song by they might be giants called "fingertips." it's actually a collection of over a dozen snippets that just sound ludicrous and random, like "i'm having a heart attack" and "what's that blue thing doing here?" or "please pass the milk please." so now that i'm out of coherent thoughts, here are the fingertips of the day: i can't stand fat lips. or lips that can't articulate fully. they're so boring to kiss. sometimes i think life would be much simpler if we humans were hermaphrodites. there'd be no gender war. we wouldn't have to spend any time thinking why the opposite sex is so frustrating. plus, the best part... we'd get as much sex as we want. did pamela anderson get her breast implants RE-inserted? those scary things couldn't have been her natural boobs... i am so fucking glad it's friday. so it's been one week since i've gone off my medication. the good news is that i haven't blown up yet. the bad news is that nothing really has changed. i'm hella baffled. i miss talking to eric. why are my hits down? it doesn't really bother me, but i tend to fret over things that i don't understand. buffy had the coolest jacket in this week's episode: a mustardy yellow wool TOGGLE coat. where can i get one of those? if there's one thing missing in my collection of jackets, it's a toggle coat. i really wanted to submit a "what is happiness?" list to gg, but i'm scared to write one because if i think about the question, so many things pop up i'm afraid my head will explode. what happened to the stock market today? dow's up 262 points. i mailed my mom a print of this picture. she got it today, and calls me up... her first question is, "why are you still dressed like a teenager?" and she was puzzling over what the hell i was doing in the picture, so when she asked my brother, he said, "he's in deep thought." i have a hard time letting go of dreams which no longer exist. case in point: i still think it's possible to retire off of stock options. second example: i still think someday a hot girl is going to e-mail me and ask me out. i haven't found an occasion to use the interjection "SNAP!" yet. i think it might be because i don't know what it means, or what context to use it in. maybe i should watch _zoolander_ again. i'm tired of seeing girls in porn wearing high heels. i need some variety! somebody please find me a video where the girl is wearing penny loafers or mary janes. those shoes turn me on! have a nice weekend. |
