| 1 feb 2002 "somebody save me let your warm hands break right through me somebody save me i don't care how you do it just stay... with me... i made this whole world shine for you just stay... just stay, c'mon... i'm still waiting for you" oh, what longing! if you don't recognize the lyrics, they're from remy zero "save me," which is the theme song for _smallville_. yup. my musical taste is partially influenced by the WB, i'm ashamed to say... so my ex-coworker bob is funny. first of all, i think the name "bob" is funny. but anyways... i went out on our typical "pho wednesdays" two days ago. shit. he reminded me of some actor i saw last night. who was it? anyways, he's a goofball. he e-mailed me yesterday complaining that even though we had lunch together, i didn't mention him in my journal. what a freak. i still want to go ATV'ing with him. did you hear that bob? ATV! a mere two minutes after putting up yesterday's entry, i got an IM from lan about the high maintenace stuff that i had written about. holy shit, dude. how did know i posted already? she then told me that i post every day around 3pm. is that true? ha! well, today i'm gonna be early. there's this thing with tourette's called copralia. it's the more popular form of tourette's that's spoofed in movies such as _deuce bigelow_ and _not another teen movie_. it's the swearing tic. i'm sure you guys know what that's all about, where people just randomly burst out screaming "you fucking bitch-tits cocksucker!" and stuff like that (in public no less). well, luckily for me, i only have a tiny bit of that now. (did you know that in 4th grade, when i first got TS, i screamed at the top of my lungs? my 4th grade teacher switched schools after he had me, and i can only wonder if it was because of my TS that traumatized him.) sometimes, i do get the urge to say things which are inappropriate, or to just yell out. uh oh. just typing about it now is giving me the urge to do it. ack! what to do? *tic* :( but anyways. the weird thing is that sometimes i feel the burning impulse to *type* something bad on an IM chat window, in an e-mail, or in this journal. like something totally offensive. but what i usually do is type it out and then erase it. *shiver* what if i accidentally hit <return> on an IM window? i don't want to think about that. but that's what tourette's is all about... your mind is just wanting to do stuff that is bad. people who have copralia aren't particularly vulgar or racist or whatever. it's just that they want to do things that they know are considered inappropriate and taboo. it's a really fucked up disorder, i tell you. i just tried the mcdonald's parmesan marinara breaded chicken sandwich. hm. it seems like they're ripping off an earlier burger king creation. it's not bad, though... it seems like anything drenched in tomato sauce can never taste bad. but it was pretty messy. kinda generic. oh! for those of you who bookmark my calendar page and go straight there, take a look at my main page. it was redesigned thanks to benboy! he was itching to do some web design work, so he asked me if he could work on my site. (i think that was a subtle hint saying that i have no web design skills, and that my site is rather lame-o, but i'm ok with that.) so he played around with it, and i gave some nitpicky feedback which made me feel rather petty. but anyways, he gave me the files yesterday, so it put it up! yeah, it's not a big change or anything, but i rather like it. thanks ben! i wonder sometimes. with my big mouth, what if i said something really offensive? not because of TS, but just because some random belief of mine was in incredibly bad taste. wouldn't that cause me some problems? i'd hate to see my inbox fill up with hate mail. yuck. i think it's amazing that with all the journals out there, more people don't fuck up and let loose some controversial statement that causes a war out there. i want to start a collection of pictures of hot girls. i have this problem that i don't remember hot girls' faces very well... in general, i'm good with remember faces, but when it's an attractive female face, it sort of fades automatically, which is REALLY frustrating! i totally should have brought a camera to 18mmw last thursday. because now all i have is this memory that the girl was smokin' and the reassurance from benboy that i was indeed correct, but i have no memory to back it up! shit. so anyways, tonight i'm going up to the city for the 3rd time in 8 days. so the question is... should i bring my camera? how many girls would actually agree to posing for some freak who wants to take a picture of them? for all they know, i could be some perv who masturbates to their pictures when i get home. eww. did you know what some girls at stanford would fall asleep at the library and wake up with spunk in their hair? dude! i think what's most impressive is that the guy doesn't seem to be afraid of the girls waking up in the middle of his wack session. then again, that danger might be what ultimately gets him off. *shrug* when i shave (i'm electronic), i invariably miss a hair or two on my chin. it really annoys me. i have this weird obsession with my facial hair... for a few years, i actually used to *pluck* every hair off my chin. it became a ritual, and one in which i could easily invest an hour of my time digging around my chin with my tweezers. k2, the cool girlfriend that she was, indulged my craze by giving me a bathroom kit from nordstrom's one christmas... and in it were a pair of *perfect* tweezers! sometimes she could cutely clamor to pluck one of my hairs. sometimes we would both be in the bathroom, silent, crowding the mirrors, she attacking her eyebrows, and me attacking my chin. i'd leave all these little hairs on my counter, so after a while, i'd have this little army of tiny hairs which looked like ants, in a pile sitting next to the sink. it was actually rather gross. but yeah... i wonder if i'll ever meet anybody else who shares my obsession with hair plucking. last thing... yesterday, espn fucked up reporting the final score of the stanford vs. arizona state game. at first, they were saying that stanford lost. and i was just PISSED. my mood on thursdays and saturdays is directly correlated sometimes to how stanford plays. but then, i was watching the ticker on the bottom, and they said that stanford had won! i wonder what happened in the studio. but anyways, jacobsen is the bomb! 49 points?! ok. i better get my ass coding a bit for now. i wonder how tonight will be. jay insists it will be a blast. but that's because he's itching to party, and he's not deal with the pressure of wondering if he should hit on a girl or not. ack. i'll let you guys know how it goes. have a nice weekend! go patriots! |