| 31 jan 2002 holy crap i feel sick.� i was craving burritos before we even got started playing basketball, so after our 3 games, i zoomed off to bueno bueno and got a huge steak charro with jalepenos.� it was a little stout, but man, it was thick.� i hit the burrito wall with 2 inches left, powered the rest down, and went outside and yacked a bit.� damn i feel sleepy now. i don't sweat much when i exercise, but my back was all sticky after today's games.� i think i'm getting marginally better when i play... i still stand around sometimes looking befuddled, but i'm a little more active on offense, making cuts and stuff.� so i wind up running around a bit more.� my back was all sticky today.� yuck. last night, i was talking to a friend, and he relayed some interest in this girl who i knew from junior year.� i told him that i had the sneaking suspicion that she was wild in bed.� (i heard some secondhand information about her after a group of us watched some free cheesy porn that i got from the adam & eve catalog.)� but anyways, my friend started freaking out comically, saying, "i don't want to hear that!"� but what's so bad about it?� i mean, it's *much* better than hearing that she's frigid, right?� if anything, it says something good, that he's bound to have fun romping with this girl. this girl and i had some weird sexual tension back at stanford.� i would go through phases of attraction and non-attraction with her.� and from what people tell me, she really liked me.� but anyways, at our junior year ski trip, four of us slept in this huge bed... it was alex and me, and jen and this girl.� and i vaguely recall playing a drinking game one night while watching disney's _aladdin_.� we would do a shot of absolut every time the carpet showed some anthropomorphic signs.� but we soon realized that we were drinking too frequently, so we changed the rule to drinking a shot when jasmine showed her teeth.� needless to say, we got pretty drunk that night. and what i can't remember for the life of me is what happened in bed that night.� i remember lying there, with the girl like six inches from my face.� and what i don't remember is whether or not i gave her a kiss.� something tells me i did, but the aftermath seems to point to the fact that maybe i didn't... because there was no escalation of tension between us; and in fact, things simmered down after the ski trip, and before i knew it, i was off to japan spring quarter, and that was the end of things. *shrug*� junior year was pretty interesting. but anyways, wouldn't *you* like to know that a person you're interested in is a monster in bed?� i think that would make my day.� co-term year, when i hooked up with this girl, she told me very frankly, "i'm a very aggressive lover."� damn, that was so good to hear.� unfortunately, she was much tamer than her statement implied, so that was a bummer. plans are shaping up for friday.� alan and peter are going to join us, so i think we're going to hit both the parties that i know about.� although neither sounds too exciting right now... one of them, i have a hunch that it'll be flooded with doctors, which isn't bad, but i have a feeling that most of the doctors will hang around each other in a tight clique.� and the other is more wide open, but alan has suspicions that it may be a sausagefest.� eww. _dawson's_ was annoying last night.� i can't believe they're doing the teacher/student ilicit romance again.� and that nice guy elliot was nice!� too bad he got dumped by joey.� and audrey said something about sweater vests being lame.� are they really that lame?� i rather like the white t-shirt/sweater vest look, although it *is* a bit dated. jen annoys me.� she walks like a duck.� somebody please axe the show so i don't have to watch it anymore.� i have to admit, though, for some insane reason, i'm starting to like audrey more.� i thought she was lame when they first introduced her, but now i think she's spunky.� and i dig the freckle-type dots on her body. oh, i got two chemical brothers cd yesterday, including the new album, _come with us_.� i listened to the whole thing in my car today, and man, it really sucks.� i have like three+ of their albums, and come to think of it, they all kind of suck... they're kind of like a techno one-hit wonder, i guess, with _block rockin' beats_ being by far their best work. i asked cyn for a valentine yesterday.� i advertised myself as "the twitching hedgie."� heh. how many twitching hedgies do YOU know about?� but anyways, i haven't gotten a valentine in a long time... the only gf that i really celebrated v-day with was k2... although i didn't enjoy it that much because i felt immense pressure to buy a nice gift... and one time, i didn't make the effort to get a nice dinner reservation, and she totally chewed me out... eventually we went to fuki sushi, and she still kept rebuking me in front of everybody at the dinner table!� *eyeroll*� damn that sucked. i dunno.� i never really celebrated any holidays.� i attribute that to my parents, who don't celebrate any holiday at all.� every day is basically the same.� except for birthdays, when i would be allotted to pick my own gift at the toy store when i was a kid.� i think that kind of upbringing made me one of those "holidays are dumb" kind of people.� i mean, how can you justify enjoying them if you never had any exposure to them at home? but anyway, they never really caused me any problems until i started going out with girls.� because they invariably expected gifts and attention lavished on them on certain days of the year... xmas, birthdays, valentine's, anniversaries... and i was really unused to thinking about that, so i got in plenty of trouble. one time, in japanese class, we practiced our conversation by asking what we were going to do for valentine's.� i knew the japanese words for "flower" (hana) and "card" (i forget), so i just used my limited vocabulary to say that i would give those items to kristie.� unfortunately for me, kristie's RA was in the class, so she relayed my response, and thus kristie was expecting those things.� but v-day rolled around, and i didn't really do anything in terms of gift-giving.� so the morning after or something, when she and i were taking a shower, she got hella pissed off... so pissed off that she threw her RAZOR at me and got out of the shower and stalked off crying.� ugh. well, that was um... 1994.� i think i know better now. i actually love giving.� it's just that when it's expected, i lose all my conviction because instead of being a spontaneous act of love, it becomes a fucking obligation.� that that pisses me off. like, one time, before we were going out, kristie was all sad becaus she didn't get a part in a school play.� so i wanted to cheer her up.� usually i left cd's under her door with post-it's of which track to listen to (a popular one was a particular lightning seed's song), but this time, i went to tresidder and got a rose (ah, it must have been near's valentine's day in 1993).� and with jack watching my back, we went out on a roof-type platform behind gavilan, and i defied death by jumping across platforms onto the ledge outside her window.� thank goodness her window was open, so i crawled halfway into her room, and hanging half in and half out, i left the rose on her desk, anonymously.� her windowsill cut my stomach.� but it was worth it to see her happy. anyways...� such is me.� if people don't expect anything from me, they might be surprised.� but if they start having those expectations, i'll get mad and do nothing.� *shrug* |