| 11 jan 2002 shit. can i just say that this job is gonna kill me. although it hurts, i think i can handle the friday 9am meetings. but now i have meetings on tuesday at SEVEN THIRTY. holy crap, batman! i swear, when i get up that early, i'm a nauseated bile-puking bleary-eyed mess. not to mention my car is blanketed completely under dew and condensation, and it takes a long time to defrost that stuff away, which further delays my commute. arrgh. so i'm heading off to tahoe this afternoon. i haven't packed yet, but i usually pack in a flash, like 15 minutes at most. i just hope i don't forget something important like my cell phone charger or my digicam. i'm a little paranoid about taking the camera up with me to the slopes, though, because i'll either crush it when i wipe out (yardsale!) or i'll get snow in it and corrode the electronics. ugh. i think this may be the earliest journal entry ever! the 9am meeting lasted for all of 10 minutes, so i was like sitting in my cube at 9:10am, not knowing what to do with myself. that is, of course, after doing my morning ritual... grabbing my coke, checking my work and yahoo e-mail, and scanning through my dozen daily dose journals or so. still, not many people update frequently, so most of my journal romping is pretty disappointing. do you ever find yourself sort of altering your social behavior in a group simply because of one other person? like, for example, you're fine with a certain clique, but once they add somebody that you don't quite know or worse, someone you don't quite like (i.e. you think he's a total TOOL), you find yourself less gregarious? that happens to me sometimes. and it bugs me. it pisses me off that i would make myself have less of a good time because of some lame person being there. it makes no sense why that happens, though. so i think that i'm gonna try to catch myself the next time it happens and try to change it. funny thing. i'm going to tahoe with four lambdas. as in the asian boy frat lambda phi epsilon. which isn't a big deal for me, as long as they don't go reminiscing all about their frat experiences. it doesn't bug me that they were in a fraternity, but sometimes they talk about way too much, and while it's amusing, after long enough, i feel a little left out because i wasn't a member. jay says "bring a lot of dollar bills." what does mean? *feigning an innocent look* wasn't last night's _friends_ episode just FANTASTIC? i love joey! like gg said, i think joey's grown up a lot, and coincidentally, so has rachel. i loved watching the two on their pseudo-"date" and i just felt a lot of beautiful platonic chemistry between them as they talked. like two mature people who are comfortable with each other. i dunno. you have to see it to know what i mean... i just thought the tone of the conversation was just perfect. playful and honest and relaxed. and while a joey crush on rachel might seem like a plot contrivance, i think that it was a genuine possibility from the way their night went; i mean, if i had that kind of a night with a girl, i couldn't help but start to feel something about her. and i love watching the beginning... the seeds of someone's affection planted in their mind and heart. how they start to notice the other person in a different light, and that state of conflict and trouble when they start to yearn for the other person yet not know what to do about that yearning. it's SUCH good shit! damn, i should have taped that episode. but i stopped taping _friends_ a long time ago since the show had sucked for such a long time. but yesterday's was the best i've seen in a long time. and chandler's getting fat. poor guy can't seem to get out of his weight fluctuations. i hope he's not addicted to another drug or something, but i guess that would make him supergaunt and wasted, right? so maybe he's addicted to haagen daz ice cream bars or something. *shrug* after _friends_, i flipped over to the _survivor_ finale. not bad. like last season in australia, i didn't follow the show at all, but i still found the end very intriguing. and i'm such a sucker for "reunion" shows, where they gather all the cast and sit them down for a cheesy interview. is that greg or bryant gumbel? i think it was bryant gumbel. but anyways, it just seems out of place for an anchor like that to interview them and act all chummy and shit. but i do give bryant credit for doing his research (or whoever his staff is; i don't know if he came up with his questions himself, i doubt it). but yeah. my friend sonya picked ethan from the beginning, so she's happy about that. but she's sad because the _survivor_ season is now over. so that was my night. oh yeah, and of course i watched _sportscenter_. oh! oh! i forgot to say that i was also tuning into the stanford vs. oregon state basketball game. why does stanford always suck in the first half? jacobsen gets THREE fouls in 7 minutes, and we only score 27 points in the first half? can't beat any powerhouse team with that kind fo shitty performance. but anyways, yeah. a tame night with some good quality television. you know, as much as i enjoyed getting out the first three nights of this week, there's something to be said about having some quality time to yourself to enjoy some simple things. for the first time in a while, i wasn't feeling like i was wasting time sitting at home... i was genuinely having a good time alone and not fretting about not being out there meeting new people. i went to the pharmacy yesterday to get a refill on my haldol. the guy in front of me was this old man with rather large ears (do you know that your ears and nose keep growing, so that's why old men have large ears and noses?), and he was apparently like on a DOZEN drugs or something, and so was his wife. the pharmacist brought up his profile, and he was asking him, "are you on this? are you on that?" and he kept saying yes. it made me sad... that point where your health deteriorates so much that you depend on an army of medications to keep yourself alive. *sigh* i think seeing old people struggled with their ailing health makes me really depressed. i miss my taiko friends. there's a big 10-year reunion coming up mid-february. and i am fucking stoked. the only thing is that i know in advance that i'm going to love it, but it'll be too short, and i'm going to get depressed when everyone leaves. *sobs* but anyways, i'm going to arrange a dim sum outing next weekend. i haven't seen these peeps in a long long time. what else? i feel like just writing and writing since i'm feeling bored. it's been a good week. a rare gem in the desert of solitude that i've been trekking across lately. have a nice weekend, guys... cross your fingers that i don't fuck up my legs or wrists or whatever. hrmph. why do i always jinx myself like that? next week i'll be looking forward to mike laying the smack down on both me and diana for our comments about him and his friend. *wink* and while it looks weird to see it written about me, i appreciate the little personals tag that benboy wrote for me in his blog. all right. i'm off. |