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| 3 jan 2002 i am resolved to post up more pictures, even though it eats up space in my free geocities account. so last night i was ass fucking tired.� it was due to not being able to sleep until 4am the previous night, so i got about 6 hours of sleep, after being accustomed to 12+ hours a night during the 4-day weekend.� i staggered home at 7, and i just wanted to sleep, but i stayed up because i wanted to have dinner with jay, who rolled in at 10 after a long stint at the hospital. we tried this new (different than our usual) pho place, pho hoa, which adam says is good.� but i got food poisoning there years ago, so i never went back.� but jay likes it because they have options like low-fat broth, noodle volume options, etc., so i humored him and went along.� it was ok.� i think pho to chau tastes better and has better meat, but i don't really care because pho isn't really all that different from place to place. i got home at 11, and i just went straight to bed.� but then, i called up alan because i haven't talked to him in a while, and we chatted for an hour about various things.� i told him my sad sad girl situations, and the funny thing was, despite the seemingly lack of prospects, i still had a lot to tell him about.� i guess i was being more dramatic than i needed to be, but it made for interesting conversation.� yes, banana republic girl made it into the talk, but the honest truth is that i just have no idea how i'd approach her.� i'm not adept at real-time flirting. so after we hung up our phones, i felt a compulsion to check my e-mail one last time and have one final smoke of the night.� i went out to the balcony, and there was this thick thick fog blanketing leghorn, so i took the picture you see above.� you can't really appreciate the fog in the picture, but you can tell it's there by the way the lights have a large fluffy halo around them.� i love using the twilight+ option on my camera... night shots turn out kinda cool. so i wound up going to bed at 1.� fuck.� i really wanted to catch up on my sleep, but oh well.� i'm just so sleepy these days... luckily it's thursday, and i only have one more day of work before i get to sleep in again. when i checked my e-mail last night, i got a random e-mail from a casey, a guy in australia.� i have a reader from down under!� ha ha.� but anyways, he asked me about my puking.� yes, it is unhealthy.� yes, i am partially bulimic.� and i'm not afraid to admit that.� and dude.� i gotta stop it.� but i find it so easy to give into even slight waves of nausea because i can barf at will.. and part of it is totally psychological, where i build up the nausea into something that overwhelms me to the point where i can't help it but yack.� and spicy pho isn't very pleasant because it burns coming up.� but it does taste the same, though, so it's not that nasty. when i went bowling with mike the other day, i barfed a bit in the parking lot while he was waiting for his friends to arrive.� i had a fish filet and a 6-piece, and when it came up, it was all creamy and really BUTTERY.� where did the creamy butter stuff come from?� the tartar sauce?� *shrug*� i don't know.� but it was nasty.� some things taste really different coming up, and others (like chili's southwestern eggrolls) taste really good.� but i'm not advocating becoming bulimic.� it's a horrible habit to have. how important are checklists to people?� i know people like listing the qualities they find in a mate, but i dunno... i've never tried to come up with one, because as much as one fits or doesn't fit the criteria, it's really how i feel that makes the biggest difference.� never mind.� i don't feel like talking about this... but all i have to say is that i want a girl who doesn't mind hanging out naked or wearing just black penny loafers.� :)� hot damn.� i'm think i could get hard just thinking about that.� black penny loafers... *drool* i was talking to alan about overanalyzing relationships.� like, suppose you made a written list of pros and cons to a person.� i.e. you list the reasons on paper why you love a particular person.� i think that's a really dangerous idea.� because some things, perhaps the most important things, can't be verbalized or confined to words.� and if you just go by what you can distill into words, then you're most likely missing all the intangibles that make a relationship wonderful. one thing i always remember is some psych experiment where they asked couples to do exactly that... verbalize the positives of their relationships.� and what they found was that they were always less satisfied with the relationship afterwards.� (i don't know how they measured "satisfaction" or who they compared it to.)� but the conclusion was that the ineffable qualities are what gives the ultimate satisfaction.� yup.� so don't try listing out reasons why you love someone . and more important, don't ask for a list!� because it can't be done properly!� ha ha. *yawn*� man.� i love my bed.� i love my blankets.� and my cool pillows.� if i could live without ever getting out of bed, i'd do it.� yeah, my legs and arms would probably shrivel up with muscle atrophy, but... oh yeah.� because i hid my 2001 entries (which really pisses me off that i had to do it, so if i get mad enough, i'll make them available), i felt sad that no one was going to be able to read my old stuff.� for now, i can give out the calendar link to individuals on a person-by-person basis if you ask me. but anyways, i was thinking about how to compromise, and i may put up a list of favorite entries from 2001.� but for now, i put up a pictures link that contains all the pics i took last year.� i mean, valuable space goes into storing what i've created last year, so i want it to be seen! hm.� *grumble*� shit.� i'm pissed.� i hate feeling censored.� i don't want to piss anybody off, but i just don't get why people just don't leave me alone.� dude.� if you don't like what you read, go away!� RAAR. but anyways, i played basketball for the first time today in a long time.� i was making my shots from the free throw line (i guess people left me open because they didn't respect my shooting), but once they went to man defense, i got shut down.� yup.� i hate man defense. well, i best go.� work calls. |