The Number Five Weirdest Story I have read on Cosmic Debris...
(From the This is a Long One From Fall 2001 to Winter 2002)
This friendly little tale became known as "Sexless in Swaziland", and took the better part of 4 months to work its way out, but here is a condensed version;
It wall started in September of 2001, when King Mswati III of Swaziland (The Last absolute Ruler in Africa) announced Swaziland had banned single young women from having sex for five years in a bid to fight the spread of Aids. Apparently, an ancient chastity rite known as Umchwasho (or Flower of The Nation) was to be revived and maidens would also be expected not to shake hands or wear pants. Not only that, but virgins would be required to wear blue and black "do not touch me" tassels.
The King announced the ruling during national celebrations for his 33rd birthday party. The ruling also stated that any man who contravened Umchwasho, would be fined one cow!
The sex ban was issued to help halt the spread of AIDS and HIV, which was at epidemic proportions in the tiny African Nation. No suprize, the news didn't sit well with the male population, but a week later it was announced that Girls were also upset at the idea. The report said that many young girls feared that their boyfriends wouldn't wait despite the country's new five-year teenage sex ban to help tackle Aids. They complained they risked being left on the shelf because men would marry women who were willing to have sex, rather than wait. (Fine of No Fine)
Lungile Dlamini said it was unfair of the king, (who had seven wives and a fiancee at the time), to expect them to observe the chastity rite while his 14-year-old daughter Princess Sikhanyiso was in Britain, out of reach of Swazi law. The 17-year-old said: "I think this will promote the commercial sex industry - I think the ladies of the night will be getting a lot of customers in the light of the sex ban."
Then in Early October is was announced that The king of Swaziland should be fined one cow for breaking his own 'no-sex' law! It seems that King Mswati III, had taken another mistress, despite asking young women to stay celibate for five years. Media company, Africa on Screen reported, King Mswati the Third chose 17 year old Nontsetselelo Magongo as his new fiancee three weeks earlier to go along with his other fiancee and seven wives. He picked his eighth bride during an annual dance ceremony where women danced bare-breasted for him. (It's Good To Be The King!)
But not to be caught in his own trap, two weeks later the King announced he would obey his own law and not have sex with his latest fiancee for five years. His 17-year-old fiancee, Nontsetselelo Magongo, made her first public appearance wearing woollen tassels which are a symbol of virginity and warn men to stay away. If The King broke the 'no sex' law he faced being fined one cow.
Ahh... but the bugger couldn't do it!
Just 2 weeks later it was announced "The king of Swaziland has been fined one cow for violating his own five-year ban on sex with young female subjects". Around 300 women laid down their symbolic chastity belts to protest against King Mswati III's choosing a 17-year-old girl as his ninth wife. The King, being a fair man, paid the fine, and produced One Cow...
The cow was then speared, roasted and eaten in a festive gathering held by the young women. (It may be good to be king, but it isn't neccessarilly good to be the King's Cow!)
According to Swazi tradition, if the king's 17-year-old wife became pregnant in the next five years, the king will be obliged to pay another cow as a fine.
In November the King publically stated that Public Officials must set a good example, and follow the rule... No Sex with Virgins for 5 Years, or face the Music! The King said such behaviour would not be tolerated, but didn't elaborate on what punishment leaders would receive.
"The responsibility weighs heavier on national leaders to be exemplary for the future of our children," the King said. He added his being fined should demonstrate the seriousness of his resolve to ensure all conditions of national resolutions were followed.
Still, Many young women in urban areas refused to wear the "Do Not Touch Me Tassels" tassels. Then in January 2002, the Kings Daughter got in on the act when she tried to strike a compromise between modernity and tradition, by allowing young countrywomen to wear trousers and symbolic chastity belts instead. But traditional authorities said she did not have the authority to make the declaration.
Petros Jim Gama, one of the tiny southern African kingdom's traditional leaders, said: "It would be improper and unSwazi to allow girls to wear umchwasho (the tasselled scarf) with pants. Pants were meant for males." Princess S'khanyiso comments were interpreted as a bid to woo wary young Swazi women who have dismissed the wearing of the tassels as not in keeping with modernity. (Say Wha?)
Well... The whole thing died down after a while, and things returned to normal (or what passes for Normal, anyway!) But you have to admit, it was a fun ride while it lasted!
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