Michael sat. The clock was behind him, on the white, boring wall of the classroom. He flipped his pencil between his fingers idly. When would class end? The teacher droned on, and on, and on, in that monotonous, hypnotic voice that said "Sleep!" Suddenly, everyone was pointing and laughing. Michael flushed as one will when they realize they haven't been paying attention and now everyone is laughing. But it wasn't at him. It was at the boy in the yellow raincoat who had just jumped in through the open window and fallen flat on his face.
Micheal watched as the boy stood up. It was no boy at all. It was a cow. The cow removed her raincoat and took out a pot of tea. She placed it on the desk of one of students who wasn't too fond of Micheal. Whoops!! Hot tea. The cow groped Micheals teacher then picked up Micheal and flew out, with him, the window she came in.
Wriggling free of the cow's grasp, Tony fell through the air and promptly fell unconscious into the lap of his beloved Michelle. Squeezing him fondly, Michelle giggled and stroked his hair until he awaken.
"Who are you?" he asked in a puzzled tone of voice.
"Why, I'm your long lost love," she answered sweetly. "Kiss me, you fool."
Drawing his toothpick, Tony glared at her menacingly down its end.
Realizing later, much to his dismay, that Michelle was really a Transvestite Iranian Communist, Andy got up from her lap and strolled away, down to the local supermarket, where he picked up a six-pack of Mountain Dew and went home with it to drown his sorrows. Upon reaching his apartment door, Andy was slightly surprised to see none other than the Cow herself! Squealing much like a small girl, he hid under the hallway table, hoping it would go away.
But the cow didn't go away! In fact it was doing the Eletric Slide in his apartment! But it wasn't to the actual song, but....TO BEETHOVEN!!! THE HORROR!!!! Andy knew this to be an utter crisis and had to do something. But what!? He was only armed with a six pack of the Dew!!!!! That was when he popped a Mentos and chewed on it to think. He thought back to the thoughts of his crazy uncle who probably had a tank in a Public Storage somewhere, and then realized..."Hey, the Dew can make for some really wicked grenades!"
so he takes the mountain dew, see,and whips out his handy dandy nerds standard pocket chemical set. He does a quick reconstruction of the molecules, and turns it to Mountain Doo. A complex bomb that upon contact of anything that moo's freezes the entire thing in a mass of sticky doo. He prepares to fling the Mountain doo, only to discover that an element in the mountain dew was radio active and he forgot to fix that. He begins to have siezure while the cow (who has now grown wings because of the radioactiviy) flys out the window laughing maniacly as she throws cheese at everyone.
It was unfortunate for the cow that she had decided to throw cheese at everyone, because cheese is a milk product. The cow's instincts for self-preservation upon sensing its precious fluids being tossed about in the form of bacterially-enhanced curds caused her to go into a frenzy in midair, killing several small birds before finally running into the wing of a passing Boeing 747.
William Shatner was on that plane, and as he looked out the window, he saw the cow on the wing of the plane. His paranoid delusions attacked suddenly, and he believed that gremlins were going to bring down the aircraft. He turned to his wife and said, "Honey? Do you have a handgun on you?"
"No dear. But I have this toothpick." Just then she stabbed Shanter in the jugular, which set off a chain reaction of bomb wars between London and New york City, most of Utah, and Texas (most of Texas was nuked 'cept for Zrytec). When Jake came to the door delivering cold chinese food Samantha had put on a wig. But this was no ordinary wig....it was a wig she was planning to blow up the white house with. More specifically George Bush. When Mr. Bush would place this wig upon his dome....BOOM!! She rushed it in the mail Fed-ex. The she went to the ice cream parlor to celebrate. The cow jumped down from the plane, into the parlor, and served Fred.
Fred suddenly smacked the cow with a fish and ran out of the ice cream parlor. Jeff jumped on a chicken and rode it all the way to Missouri. The chicken then sprouted venezia jeans and started it's own talent show. Everyone came. There were Japanese beetles that spoke japanese. Dogs that could play mozart and the most rarest act of all and certainly the hardest to follow would be the blonds that could walk AND chew gum. AT THE SAME TIME!!! This year was shaping up nicely. The Jell-o mold out in the corn field called the mother ship and started a war between Iraq and Yemen. Egypt stood back and laughed. While a monkey grabbed a hammer and ook it to wittle James head causeing him to...